Its yo Birthday! Sparkle Sparkle like its your birthday!
-51 Paise
Saturday, March 22, 2008
All in Night's work!
rrrriinnnnnnnnnnggggg ringgggggggggg
I will not miss that goddamned phone!
ringgggggggggggg ringggggggggg. ringggggggg ringggggggggggggggggg
Thank goodness I won't have to deal with ring over at Kelsey's. I will not miss that goddamned phone!
"Jose, why don't you grab that phone, and answer it already"
"You sure you don't want to answer the calls on your last day at the Hut?" inquired Jose.
"Alright..Settle down Cathal, I got it"
Thank you for calling the Hut, Jose speakin.. how may I help you
"Cathal, they're demanding to speak with the manager"
On my last friggin day, are you kidding me?
"Deal with the issue, offer them something else"
"Cathal, they asked to speak with you"
sigh. They're going to chew me out.. and demand a huge discount...
why the hell could Devon not take my last shift. Thank goodness I'll never be here on a Saturday ever again. !
"Hi, I'm Cathal, the manager of this store. I understand there's a problem"
"Cathal, is that your name? Well, it took us about 15 minutes before anyone answered the phone for this call. Our food took forever to arrive., and when it did, the bread sticks didn't have cheese spread evenly on them. " the entitled lady at the other end yelled!
I'm friggin checked out already! I won't miss the complaining customers!
"I'm sorry Ma'am, We've had an unusually busy evening, and we might have rushed through the order"
"But that's my point.. this is supposed to be a restaurant. Don't you know how to run this place. This is no Mom & Pop store. We should be treated better", continued Ms. Personality
This is textbook.
"I apologize ma'am that your expectations havent' been met tonight. As a token of appreciation of your continued patronage, I'd gladly re-cook your entire order, and have it delivered to you , for the price of 'on the Hut'."
sigh..would it be unprofessional to spit in her food before I send it out for delivery?
"Thats fine. We'll take it in that case. But we're not pleased!" Click!
The cardinal rule of Food & Beverage holds true.. all customers are the devil!!
I will NOT miss answering the phone!
"Cathal, Can you grab Line2?" huffed Jose
Are you kidding.. It took all my mental strength to not cuss out the Drama Queen in the last phone call, I can not handle another complaint at this point
"Jose, I told you, I'm not touching that phone again tonight.. just grab the order and deal with it"
"Cathal, its for YOU!"
sigh. 1 more hour. I cannot wait to never come back again!
"Cathal speaking"
"Hey Cathal, its Mindy! "
Ah, the cute coordinator for the peewee league. Makes the phone call a tad easier to handle now :)
" Guess what! Middleton Stars won their final league game yesterday, we're in the playoffs for Saturday. Thanks so much for the special pizza's during the entire season"
"Thats great to hear!"
".....The kids loved your pizzas so much, they made you a uniform, and the entire team signed it. They want to give it to you at the Playoff Dinner on Saturday, at the Hut. Lil Brandon came up with your name "PizzaMan". "
"....."
"Cathal, are you there?"
"mm... m.... Mindy... I might not be working that shift"
whats that lump in my throat.. I can't speak
"Cathal, we all really hope you'll stop by even if you're not working that shift. "
"I'll try Mindy. Good luck for the game though
"uh.. Cathal.?."
"Yes, Mindy?"
"umm.. The kids aren't the only ones looking forward to seeing you on Saturday night! Bye!"
...
....
.....
......
I stared at the handset.
I will miss that goddamned phone, after all.
I will not miss that goddamned phone!
ringgggggggggggg ringggggggggg. ringggggggg ringggggggggggggggggg
Thank goodness I won't have to deal with ring over at Kelsey's. I will not miss that goddamned phone!
"Jose, why don't you grab that phone, and answer it already"
"You sure you don't want to answer the calls on your last day at the Hut?" inquired Jose.
"Alright..Settle down Cathal, I got it"
Thank you for calling the Hut, Jose speakin.. how may I help you
"Cathal, they're demanding to speak with the manager"
On my last friggin day, are you kidding me?
"Deal with the issue, offer them something else"
"Cathal, they asked to speak with you"
sigh. They're going to chew me out.. and demand a huge discount...
why the hell could Devon not take my last shift. Thank goodness I'll never be here on a Saturday ever again. !
"Hi, I'm Cathal, the manager of this store. I understand there's a problem"
"Cathal, is that your name? Well, it took us about 15 minutes before anyone answered the phone for this call. Our food took forever to arrive., and when it did, the bread sticks didn't have cheese spread evenly on them. " the entitled lady at the other end yelled!
I'm friggin checked out already! I won't miss the complaining customers!
"I'm sorry Ma'am, We've had an unusually busy evening, and we might have rushed through the order"
"But that's my point.. this is supposed to be a restaurant. Don't you know how to run this place. This is no Mom & Pop store. We should be treated better", continued Ms. Personality
This is textbook.
"I apologize ma'am that your expectations havent' been met tonight. As a token of appreciation of your continued patronage, I'd gladly re-cook your entire order, and have it delivered to you , for the price of 'on the Hut'."
sigh..would it be unprofessional to spit in her food before I send it out for delivery?
"Thats fine. We'll take it in that case. But we're not pleased!" Click!
The cardinal rule of Food & Beverage holds true.. all customers are the devil!!
I will NOT miss answering the phone!
"Cathal, Can you grab Line2?" huffed Jose
Are you kidding.. It took all my mental strength to not cuss out the Drama Queen in the last phone call, I can not handle another complaint at this point
"Jose, I told you, I'm not touching that phone again tonight.. just grab the order and deal with it"
"Cathal, its for YOU!"
sigh. 1 more hour. I cannot wait to never come back again!
"Cathal speaking"
"Hey Cathal, its Mindy! "
Ah, the cute coordinator for the peewee league. Makes the phone call a tad easier to handle now :)
" Guess what! Middleton Stars won their final league game yesterday, we're in the playoffs for Saturday. Thanks so much for the special pizza's during the entire season"
"Thats great to hear!"
".....The kids loved your pizzas so much, they made you a uniform, and the entire team signed it. They want to give it to you at the Playoff Dinner on Saturday, at the Hut. Lil Brandon came up with your name "PizzaMan". "
"....."
"Cathal, are you there?"
"mm... m.... Mindy... I might not be working that shift"
whats that lump in my throat.. I can't speak
"Cathal, we all really hope you'll stop by even if you're not working that shift. "
"I'll try Mindy. Good luck for the game though
"uh.. Cathal.?."
"Yes, Mindy?"
"umm.. The kids aren't the only ones looking forward to seeing you on Saturday night! Bye!"
...
....
.....
......
I stared at the handset.
I will miss that goddamned phone, after all.
Outro-Spection!
"Show me around!"
yes ma'am
"Buy me dinner"
Of course dear
"Hold my purse"
sure, cutie!
"Walk beside me"
si senorita
"Do I look hot"
you always do
everyone's met this person before.. She is the spoilt kid, who had never heard the word "no" in her life. Typically blessed with good looks, said person usually has an entourage of "yes men" who hover round, always ready to please, and compliment, each one of them hoping for that one moment when she may smile at them or even better, fall for them.
Unfortunately these chumps almost always get heartbroken, as they watch theirBetty Paige get hit on by random guy after another. Sometimes SpoiltKid may say "Sorry, I got a boyfriend", at which point every Y chromosome in the entourage perks up, hoping she referred to him. In her mind of course, 'boyfriend' is just a placeholder to stave off the wrong kind of attention... rather attention from the wrong kinda male. As the men in the circle stand up tall, chest outs now that they have a thimble of hope, they start buying Her drinks, complimenting her again..and try to get within that 2 foot physical barrier that She seems to hold. Thinks are moving, things are progressing.. and then.. once again, random bloke picks her up and steals her from right in front of their eyes. HeartBreak Hotel, now ready for check-in!
Usually most adults are moulded in their formative years. the spoilt ones turn into the above. The deprived ones,, well, you can catch them on Cops, Jerry Spring, Maury... and sometimes all of them :). The Canuck Engineer was never deprived.. nor spoiled.. usually got most things he needed.. the one thing he never did get was a Nintendo, when all the kids had one. For some reason, I never got that goddamned console, and i was also playing at my friends house. Finally, when my folks decided to buy me, at the ripe old age of 12, all the cool kids were playing Sega, and once again, I was an outcaste!
Could that help explain how I turned out? Could a damn 8-bit console be the cause why the CanuckEngineer is how he is.....? Hmm.. this could be good material for my Wednesday 8pm'er. Recent sessions had been kinda dull! Now its time for some "Wii-habilitation" :)
Don't forget, Kids.. Stay in School, don't do drugs.. and Get the latest VideoGame out there...
you will thank yourself during your mid-age crisis!
yes ma'am
"Buy me dinner"
Of course dear
"Hold my purse"
sure, cutie!
"Walk beside me"
si senorita
"Do I look hot"
you always do
everyone's met this person before.. She is the spoilt kid, who had never heard the word "no" in her life. Typically blessed with good looks, said person usually has an entourage of "yes men" who hover round, always ready to please, and compliment, each one of them hoping for that one moment when she may smile at them or even better, fall for them.
Unfortunately these chumps almost always get heartbroken, as they watch theirBetty Paige get hit on by random guy after another. Sometimes SpoiltKid may say "Sorry, I got a boyfriend", at which point every Y chromosome in the entourage perks up, hoping she referred to him. In her mind of course, 'boyfriend' is just a placeholder to stave off the wrong kind of attention... rather attention from the wrong kinda male. As the men in the circle stand up tall, chest outs now that they have a thimble of hope, they start buying Her drinks, complimenting her again..and try to get within that 2 foot physical barrier that She seems to hold. Thinks are moving, things are progressing.. and then.. once again, random bloke picks her up and steals her from right in front of their eyes. HeartBreak Hotel, now ready for check-in!
Usually most adults are moulded in their formative years. the spoilt ones turn into the above. The deprived ones,, well, you can catch them on Cops, Jerry Spring, Maury... and sometimes all of them :). The Canuck Engineer was never deprived.. nor spoiled.. usually got most things he needed.. the one thing he never did get was a Nintendo, when all the kids had one. For some reason, I never got that goddamned console, and i was also playing at my friends house. Finally, when my folks decided to buy me, at the ripe old age of 12, all the cool kids were playing Sega, and once again, I was an outcaste!
Could that help explain how I turned out? Could a damn 8-bit console be the cause why the CanuckEngineer is how he is.....? Hmm.. this could be good material for my Wednesday 8pm'er. Recent sessions had been kinda dull! Now its time for some "Wii-habilitation" :)
Don't forget, Kids.. Stay in School, don't do drugs.. and Get the latest VideoGame out there...
you will thank yourself during your mid-age crisis!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
American Pimp
Last Saturday, I went out again, after solemnly vowing the night before to have no more wildness, considering the toll Thu & Fri night had taken on my oh so aging body!
But a few ounces of ethanol later, I didn't quite mind the lineup at the club.. and when we didnt' have to pay cover, I definitely was ok with that too.
a couple more drinks were guzzled. visited all the rooms & levels of said club, and then I took my friend, who was visiting from out of town, to the bar. "aite, bro.. whatchu want?"
"whatever you're getting"
so I try to get to the bar, trying to catch they eye of the bartender. Fat chance, considering everyone around the bar had X chromosomes only.
"Kettle one with RedBull"...
I turned to my side, to stare at the person who would drink mix one of the finer vodka's with caffeineted grape juice and pay upwards of 30 bucks for it.
"What kinda order is that?", i yelled out, annoyed at the waste of some good Goose/One.
As I said, I was still turning my head, and as it turns out, the voice belonged to a rather attractive lady. Of course, if I wasn't as inebriated, I would have ordinarly not said a word.. but I was.... thanks to the ethanol mentioned above..
"i like my redbull and i like good vodka" says chica.
Now of course, what I meant to say in my head was
"oh yea.. they could pour you a well drink, you'd never know the difference!"
However, thanks to a gmail chat with one of my boys earlier in the day, what ended up coming out of my mouth was:
"Girl, you're looking qualified to be satisfied!"
And I said that with all the confidence of an American Pimp! (see part8 of the movie)
and as I said that, i took my ChupaChup out of my mouth and walked away..sporting the biggest grin on my face you'd ever see.
yes, ChupaChup... Yes, Alpha...for one evening atleast :D
-CanuckAlphaMaleEngineer
But a few ounces of ethanol later, I didn't quite mind the lineup at the club.. and when we didnt' have to pay cover, I definitely was ok with that too.
a couple more drinks were guzzled. visited all the rooms & levels of said club, and then I took my friend, who was visiting from out of town, to the bar. "aite, bro.. whatchu want?"
"whatever you're getting"
so I try to get to the bar, trying to catch they eye of the bartender. Fat chance, considering everyone around the bar had X chromosomes only.
"Kettle one with RedBull"...
I turned to my side, to stare at the person who would drink mix one of the finer vodka's with caffeineted grape juice and pay upwards of 30 bucks for it.
"What kinda order is that?", i yelled out, annoyed at the waste of some good Goose/One.
As I said, I was still turning my head, and as it turns out, the voice belonged to a rather attractive lady. Of course, if I wasn't as inebriated, I would have ordinarly not said a word.. but I was.... thanks to the ethanol mentioned above..
"i like my redbull and i like good vodka" says chica.
Now of course, what I meant to say in my head was
"oh yea.. they could pour you a well drink, you'd never know the difference!"
However, thanks to a gmail chat with one of my boys earlier in the day, what ended up coming out of my mouth was:
"Girl, you're looking qualified to be satisfied!"
And I said that with all the confidence of an American Pimp! (see part8 of the movie)
and as I said that, i took my ChupaChup out of my mouth and walked away..sporting the biggest grin on my face you'd ever see.
yes, ChupaChup... Yes, Alpha...for one evening atleast :D
-CanuckAlphaMaleEngineer
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
I need... atishoo!!
I'm Strong.!!!!
Seriously.. I am!
I'm not claiming to be able to bench 500lbs or Squat another 700.. but I definitely have at least average strength.
AND I'm not particularly skinny either.. as those of you who've seen me in person will gladly attest to.... so I'm definitely not weak!
Ergo.. I am strong.. at least as strong as the average person..
Now I know what most of you are thinking reading this..."Canuck's finally lost his marbles. The wheel's spinning, but the Hamster's dropped off"
Well, no, This isn't exactly a self-congratulatory post....(those are for Sunday Mornings!). And no, this isn't an attempt to call out attention to the fact that I've been knocking out ten extra pushups every other Sunday, either.... (Scrubs reference, anybody?). =)
The reason I'm ranting like this is because I'm wondering why, if I'm at least as averagely healthy as an average healthy male, do I have the immunity of an ant? If I have the physical traits atleast EQUAL to that of the average male... then why the hell do I contract the damn common cold every single time *any* one in my vicinity has a cold.
Its ridiculous!. .. If I walk within 50 feet of someone who's been within 50 feet of a baby, I get a cold.
If I walk with 50 feet of a hospital or a doctor's office.. I get a cold.
If I walk for 50 feet... I get a cold!!
What is up with that!
Most people perform just fine with a cold. They fight wars, battle for championships, takeover companies, invent & discover and go about their merry life just fine.
Me.. with a cold.. Complete Shut Down Mode
Complete Shut Down Mode, with a thick veil of Self-Pity!
that's when I'm usually moaning and groaning about how tough I have it that I have to deal with a nose that reminds tourists of Niagara..
or how that itch in my throat prevents my splendid baritone from reaching my Roommate when I'm showering..
ah showering.. another casualty of this war against the Cold.
But as I deal with this quite routine catastrophe in the life of the Canuck Engineer, I've come to terms with my bouts of nasal leakage & throatal grunts that could only remind people of harsh animal abuse worthy of SPCA intervention( well, either that, or intense bestiality, whatever floats your boat!!)
But the worst is that along with losing my social couth, when I'm not wiping the snot out of... well.. my snot, I also lose whatever semblance of humor I have left after grinding out those days in Engineering Labs. Ya, check this out.. This was gonna be my hook for this blog today:
"Not only am I strong.. I am also fast.... why you ask? Cuz I can Catch a cold"!!
Yes, exactly.. so why don't you just slap my ass, and call me Alexander Phlegming, I'm outta here!
PS: on second thoughts, no ass slaps please. Not that there's anything wrong with it ;)
Seriously.. I am!
I'm not claiming to be able to bench 500lbs or Squat another 700.. but I definitely have at least average strength.
AND I'm not particularly skinny either.. as those of you who've seen me in person will gladly attest to.... so I'm definitely not weak!
Ergo.. I am strong.. at least as strong as the average person..
Now I know what most of you are thinking reading this..."Canuck's finally lost his marbles. The wheel's spinning, but the Hamster's dropped off"
Well, no, This isn't exactly a self-congratulatory post....(those are for Sunday Mornings!). And no, this isn't an attempt to call out attention to the fact that I've been knocking out ten extra pushups every other Sunday, either.... (Scrubs reference, anybody?). =)
The reason I'm ranting like this is because I'm wondering why, if I'm at least as averagely healthy as an average healthy male, do I have the immunity of an ant? If I have the physical traits atleast EQUAL to that of the average male... then why the hell do I contract the damn common cold every single time *any* one in my vicinity has a cold.
Its ridiculous!. .. If I walk within 50 feet of someone who's been within 50 feet of a baby, I get a cold.
If I walk with 50 feet of a hospital or a doctor's office.. I get a cold.
If I walk for 50 feet... I get a cold!!
What is up with that!
Most people perform just fine with a cold. They fight wars, battle for championships, takeover companies, invent & discover and go about their merry life just fine.
Me.. with a cold.. Complete Shut Down Mode
Complete Shut Down Mode, with a thick veil of Self-Pity!
that's when I'm usually moaning and groaning about how tough I have it that I have to deal with a nose that reminds tourists of Niagara..
or how that itch in my throat prevents my splendid baritone from reaching my Roommate when I'm showering..
ah showering.. another casualty of this war against the Cold.
But as I deal with this quite routine catastrophe in the life of the Canuck Engineer, I've come to terms with my bouts of nasal leakage & throatal grunts that could only remind people of harsh animal abuse worthy of SPCA intervention( well, either that, or intense bestiality, whatever floats your boat!!)
But the worst is that along with losing my social couth, when I'm not wiping the snot out of... well.. my snot, I also lose whatever semblance of humor I have left after grinding out those days in Engineering Labs. Ya, check this out.. This was gonna be my hook for this blog today:
"Not only am I strong.. I am also fast.... why you ask? Cuz I can Catch a cold"!!
Yes, exactly.. so why don't you just slap my ass, and call me Alexander Phlegming, I'm outta here!
PS: on second thoughts, no ass slaps please. Not that there's anything wrong with it ;)
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