Dear Diary,
I want the perfect man.
I want him to find me.
I want him to be my friend.
I want him to become my companion.
I want him to understand me.
I want him to get me.
I want him to be strong when I need him to be.
I want him to be funny when I want to smile.
I want him to be goofy so I can roll my eyes
I want him to know how to listen so I could vent.
I want him to make me realize I don't have to be short tempered.
I want him to make me realize I can be fun too.
Every time I think of him, I want to smile.
I want to be able to talk to him about anything.
I want to be able to talk to him about everything.
I don't want there to be anything I can't talk to him about.
I want him to be able to take control.
I want him to know what I want, even when I don't.
I want him to be able to make me blush.
I want to feel butterflies with him.
I want him to be a big part of my day...everyday
I want to be able to hear his voice every single day.. multiple times
I want to move into his heart
I want him to figure out a way to move into mine
I want him to be my lover... and also my friend.
I want him to be a pretty awesome guy.
Does he exist?
-Girl
Dear Diary,
I went out with this girl the other day.
I bought her a cookie.
She gave me the first bite.
I will never go hungry.
I found the perfect girl.
-Guy
Monday, November 7, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Foot in Mouth Disease
Its Happy Hour..
"Omg, Canuck.. I have some news for you... My buddy and I just started a new venture..."
"Wow, that's awesome.. so you quit your job, and you're now diving into this? that's awesome.. You've always wanted to be an entrepreneur!"
"yeah.. thanks Canuck.. I'm excited too! Its actually a really new concept.. and I'll really looking forward to it picking up"
"That's really neat.. Let me buy you your next round.. y'know.. it'll be my congratulations to you"
Everyone at the table gets a new drink. I get her a glass of red wine..
"Lets all toast to our good friend G... and her new ... uhmm.. new.. uhh.. conception"
Awkward silence.. everyone sips.. looking at me with a WTF expression.
Just another Wednesday night in the life of Canuck.
-The "Immaculate" Canuck Engineer
Wtf was I
"Omg, Canuck.. I have some news for you... My buddy and I just started a new venture..."
"Wow, that's awesome.. so you quit your job, and you're now diving into this? that's awesome.. You've always wanted to be an entrepreneur!"
"yeah.. thanks Canuck.. I'm excited too! Its actually a really new concept.. and I'll really looking forward to it picking up"
"That's really neat.. Let me buy you your next round.. y'know.. it'll be my congratulations to you"
Everyone at the table gets a new drink. I get her a glass of red wine..
"Lets all toast to our good friend G... and her new ... uhmm.. new.. uhh.. conception"
Awkward silence.. everyone sips.. looking at me with a WTF expression.
Just another Wednesday night in the life of Canuck.
-The "Immaculate" Canuck Engineer
Wtf was I
Two Shakes of a Lamb's Tail
My boss decided to walk into my office last Friday... at the end of the day.
This was the guy who hired me many many moons ago when I was the Canuck Intern Engineer... We went back a long way....or so I always felt. He had now become a big shot within the organization.. and so our interactions were not as frequent as before.
"So how're things Canuck....Are you still worthy of this office, or should we get you into a cubicle already".. Good Ole boss.. always knew how to pay me a compliment!
There's never time for pleasantries with the big shots.. so you have to take advantage of the time you do get.. and I had always wanted his opinion on how he managed people.
In the world we live, we are defined by our relationships with people. Every single person you meet .. they become a part of your life.. in however insignificant a part.. but still a part. Those that matter will become a bigger part of your life story.. others may become mere footnotes.. some might be relegated to the addendums.. some may not even make it to the index..but dealing with people is probably the single most important skill anyone can acquire as long as the world we live in has humans.
He dove in to the answer... and then after another follow up question.. continued.
"....the hardest part is to make sure people stay motivated. We've all been passed up for a promotion.. sometimes twice. Its how you handle these things that define your career.. I mean who amongst us has not been rejected in some part of our lives... ".
It was pretty topical.
Coworkers had been affected.
Some of my friends had been affected..
I'm sure a lot of people I don't know are also affected.
I wish I could say all of this to them..
Rejection.
When things don't go the way you had anticipated, there are always repercussions.. Everyone deals with setbacks in pretty much everything they do. Which banker has not had a merger canceled on him? There isn't a salesman or real estate agent who had a deal fall through when everything was just set. Every single employee at some point has felt some form of rejection. whether it was an anticipated promotion they felt they deserved.. a career opportunity.. a raise... There is always a setback.
Most people in the 20s or 30s have experienced at least one relationship setback.. Some had high school sweethearts that didn't work out.. Some even got left at the altar... Others get married and then get divorced. There isn't one of these situations that feels good at that time. Heck, How I Met Your Mother is a show where a man tells his kids the story of him meeting his mother.. but six seasons in, all I see are stories of heartbreak after another.
But that's just pretty much a fact of life. There will always be rejection.. There will always be a sense of loss. Some forms of loss are much graver than others. Having a close relative, a parent or a spouse die..even worse.. having to bury your kid. That is a colossal loss.. one that might take forever to heal from.. Others may be easier to deal with.
Regardless, you still need to deal with it.
The way you deal with rejection ends up defining the way you see life. Unfortunately, people take vary different approaches to dealing with this. I met a friend of mine who had just broken off an engagement. He kept telling me how his health was deteriorating, his job performance suffered. and that he just could not focus on anything.. and that he felt bitter about any future relationships.
There's no sugar coating it. Its tough. We've all been there. When things don't go your way, sometimes you can laugh it off, sleep in and be ready the next morning.. Other times, you might find yourself unable to focus on anything. You watch entire movies but don't' remember half of what you saw.. You might sit on a couch for hours and not recall watching a single show. You might drive for hours.. and not remember any part of the commute. You might imagine the phone ringing.. or constantly hope for emails or text messages .. Heck, you might lock your keys in your car multiple times . and then proceed to lock yourself out of your own house.. all within a week, just because your mind is elsewhere.. ..cuz you're distracted... because you're too busy wondering "what if".. you're too busy thinking about "why".. or "how".
There are two paths you can take... You can either blame yourself... or you can improve yourself..
Too often people start blaming themselves.or . If I would have done this.. then that would not have happened.... Or make excuses like.. .My damn boss just has it out for me.... or He was never really into me.
If you got passed up for a promotion, then you spend some time analyzing why that happened.. figure out was there anything else you could have done.. and then make sure you learn from that.. and do it better the next time.
Invest in yourself. Figure out.. were there any mistakes I made?. Don't repeat the same mistakes again. There are always things you can do better.. Do them better.
Learn to see the signs. Every time you think a bombshell has been dropped on you..chances are there were signs alluding to it. Maybe you hadn't been getting the top assignments at work for a while. That's a sign. Maybe "he" was just not calling you often enough.. That's a sign. Maybe "she" was always too busy with her friends to make time for you. These are all signs.
If you're a top performer like you think.. your company WILL keep you relevant. They will involve in you in the top projects.
If your girlfriend/wife is really into you, she WILL make time for you.. She will value your opinion.
If your bf/husband values you in his life.. he will go out of his way to make you feel special.
If any of those things used to happen, but no longer do.. then make sure you stay aware of that. Man is a creature of habit.. he follows the same pattern. If patterns change.. that is a dead giveaway.. somethings awry.. You can either try to nip it in the bud and deal with it then, or don't pay attention at your own peril.
Relationships may not work out for so many reasons. Too old, too young.. not the right time.. not enough time.. too far to make it work ,... too close to give any space...too boring.. too hectic... sometimes you just lose the attraction... and sometimes catastrophic events happen that one of you .. or both of you.. just can not recover from....
But you can NOT take the setback personally. Its too easy to blame yourself.. to play the victim card, feel self-pity.. and in the process lose the most important part of your life.. You!
You invested in an education for a reason.
You might have gone to the top schools of the world.
You have worked your butt off the past few years (or months or decades) because you took pride in your work.
You used to work out so you could maintain a positive appearance.
So why throw all that down the drain now!
So it didn't work out... But it did at one time? At one time you were the top salesman in your company.. At one time, He would have dinner planned for you when you got home... At one time, she would go out of her way to buy you something special.
and in two shakes of a lambs tail.. it could all change.
That's okay. It happens.. .That's life.. No one said it had to be fair.
But be constructive.. not destructive.
Spend some time working on yourself.
Invest in that diploma.. in that degree. There will always be value for an education... always.. don't let the high school dropout billionaires fool you...note that the very companies they run insist on hiring at top schools only! Hypocritical?, perhaps... truth? absolutely!
Take pride in your appearance.. Don't let your face look like you just came back from a 4month trip to the Andes. Don't let your gut look like you chose to prepare for a famine.
Don't spend all your time feeling glum.. Go out and do things.
Hit the gym... Go hike that trail you always wanted. Start playing sports again. Get a new hobby.. Pay attention to your friends. Make time for your family.
It is tough to deal with a setback. It takes time. But there are things you can do to help yourself.. and there are things you can do to hurt yourself.
There will be always be value for a man who knows his worth. same for a woman.
Regardless of the situation.. whether is professional, personal or academic.
Your company hired you because you were an asset. You aced your interviews. You got the first project finished in record time. You were the rockstar... and then you slipped.. well dust yourself off.. and go get to that point again.. It was always you.. it can be you once again... if not at this job.. get another one.. but get there again!
Your girlfriend dated you because she thought you would be a positive addition to your life. You were the life of the party.. You could make her laugh anytime she needed a smile.. She found comfort in your ear.. and loved hearing your voice.. and would call/text you all day every day... It was why she was attracted to you.
Well, the relationship may not be any longer.. but you still are.. .and those are the same traits attractive to every single person in the other gender.
If a relationship has ended.. cherish the moments you had together... relish the fact that, for a while, however long it was, you gave each comfort, support.. and joy. Then wish the other the best for the future.
No point holding grudges...Sure you might feel vengeful, wronged, or just plain sad... But cry out a river.. build a bridge and then get over it. Do NOT get bitter. One job does not have to define your career. One relationship does not have to define your life.
People don't like change... but we have to deal with it.. whether its of our own choosing or not. Since its inevitable.. do yourself a favor.. and learn to deal with it... because it might look dark right now... but things do get better..
Savor the good times while you can.. because inevitably there will be some not so great times ahead..
As the great poet, Hafiz, so aptly put it..
Joy and Sorrow.. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
As I love quoting on this blog.. and I will once again..
"Nothing lasts forever..
even cold November rain"
...and then I went back into the conversation that my boss was having with me...
"... and its the way that people get back up from setbacks that really ends up defining them as people... To cut a long story short, Canuck, let me be the first to congratulate you on your promotion"
Victory is mine! :)
-The Canuck "Almost-big-shot" Engineer
This was the guy who hired me many many moons ago when I was the Canuck Intern Engineer... We went back a long way....or so I always felt. He had now become a big shot within the organization.. and so our interactions were not as frequent as before.
"So how're things Canuck....Are you still worthy of this office, or should we get you into a cubicle already".. Good Ole boss.. always knew how to pay me a compliment!
There's never time for pleasantries with the big shots.. so you have to take advantage of the time you do get.. and I had always wanted his opinion on how he managed people.
In the world we live, we are defined by our relationships with people. Every single person you meet .. they become a part of your life.. in however insignificant a part.. but still a part. Those that matter will become a bigger part of your life story.. others may become mere footnotes.. some might be relegated to the addendums.. some may not even make it to the index..but dealing with people is probably the single most important skill anyone can acquire as long as the world we live in has humans.
He dove in to the answer... and then after another follow up question.. continued.
"....the hardest part is to make sure people stay motivated. We've all been passed up for a promotion.. sometimes twice. Its how you handle these things that define your career.. I mean who amongst us has not been rejected in some part of our lives... ".
It was pretty topical.
Coworkers had been affected.
Some of my friends had been affected..
I'm sure a lot of people I don't know are also affected.
I wish I could say all of this to them..
Rejection.
When things don't go the way you had anticipated, there are always repercussions.. Everyone deals with setbacks in pretty much everything they do. Which banker has not had a merger canceled on him? There isn't a salesman or real estate agent who had a deal fall through when everything was just set. Every single employee at some point has felt some form of rejection. whether it was an anticipated promotion they felt they deserved.. a career opportunity.. a raise... There is always a setback.
Most people in the 20s or 30s have experienced at least one relationship setback.. Some had high school sweethearts that didn't work out.. Some even got left at the altar... Others get married and then get divorced. There isn't one of these situations that feels good at that time. Heck, How I Met Your Mother is a show where a man tells his kids the story of him meeting his mother.. but six seasons in, all I see are stories of heartbreak after another.
But that's just pretty much a fact of life. There will always be rejection.. There will always be a sense of loss. Some forms of loss are much graver than others. Having a close relative, a parent or a spouse die..even worse.. having to bury your kid. That is a colossal loss.. one that might take forever to heal from.. Others may be easier to deal with.
Regardless, you still need to deal with it.
The way you deal with rejection ends up defining the way you see life. Unfortunately, people take vary different approaches to dealing with this. I met a friend of mine who had just broken off an engagement. He kept telling me how his health was deteriorating, his job performance suffered. and that he just could not focus on anything.. and that he felt bitter about any future relationships.
There's no sugar coating it. Its tough. We've all been there. When things don't go your way, sometimes you can laugh it off, sleep in and be ready the next morning.. Other times, you might find yourself unable to focus on anything. You watch entire movies but don't' remember half of what you saw.. You might sit on a couch for hours and not recall watching a single show. You might drive for hours.. and not remember any part of the commute. You might imagine the phone ringing.. or constantly hope for emails or text messages .. Heck, you might lock your keys in your car multiple times . and then proceed to lock yourself out of your own house.. all within a week, just because your mind is elsewhere.. ..cuz you're distracted... because you're too busy wondering "what if".. you're too busy thinking about "why".. or "how".
There are two paths you can take... You can either blame yourself... or you can improve yourself..
Too often people start blaming themselves.or . If I would have done this.. then that would not have happened.... Or make excuses like.. .My damn boss just has it out for me.... or He was never really into me.
If you got passed up for a promotion, then you spend some time analyzing why that happened.. figure out was there anything else you could have done.. and then make sure you learn from that.. and do it better the next time.
Invest in yourself. Figure out.. were there any mistakes I made?. Don't repeat the same mistakes again. There are always things you can do better.. Do them better.
Learn to see the signs. Every time you think a bombshell has been dropped on you..chances are there were signs alluding to it. Maybe you hadn't been getting the top assignments at work for a while. That's a sign. Maybe "he" was just not calling you often enough.. That's a sign. Maybe "she" was always too busy with her friends to make time for you. These are all signs.
If you're a top performer like you think.. your company WILL keep you relevant. They will involve in you in the top projects.
If your girlfriend/wife is really into you, she WILL make time for you.. She will value your opinion.
If your bf/husband values you in his life.. he will go out of his way to make you feel special.
If any of those things used to happen, but no longer do.. then make sure you stay aware of that. Man is a creature of habit.. he follows the same pattern. If patterns change.. that is a dead giveaway.. somethings awry.. You can either try to nip it in the bud and deal with it then, or don't pay attention at your own peril.
Relationships may not work out for so many reasons. Too old, too young.. not the right time.. not enough time.. too far to make it work ,... too close to give any space...too boring.. too hectic... sometimes you just lose the attraction... and sometimes catastrophic events happen that one of you .. or both of you.. just can not recover from....
But you can NOT take the setback personally. Its too easy to blame yourself.. to play the victim card, feel self-pity.. and in the process lose the most important part of your life.. You!
You invested in an education for a reason.
You might have gone to the top schools of the world.
You have worked your butt off the past few years (or months or decades) because you took pride in your work.
You used to work out so you could maintain a positive appearance.
So why throw all that down the drain now!
So it didn't work out... But it did at one time? At one time you were the top salesman in your company.. At one time, He would have dinner planned for you when you got home... At one time, she would go out of her way to buy you something special.
and in two shakes of a lambs tail.. it could all change.
That's okay. It happens.. .That's life.. No one said it had to be fair.
But be constructive.. not destructive.
Spend some time working on yourself.
Invest in that diploma.. in that degree. There will always be value for an education... always.. don't let the high school dropout billionaires fool you...note that the very companies they run insist on hiring at top schools only! Hypocritical?, perhaps... truth? absolutely!
Take pride in your appearance.. Don't let your face look like you just came back from a 4month trip to the Andes. Don't let your gut look like you chose to prepare for a famine.
Don't spend all your time feeling glum.. Go out and do things.
Hit the gym... Go hike that trail you always wanted. Start playing sports again. Get a new hobby.. Pay attention to your friends. Make time for your family.
It is tough to deal with a setback. It takes time. But there are things you can do to help yourself.. and there are things you can do to hurt yourself.
There will be always be value for a man who knows his worth. same for a woman.
Regardless of the situation.. whether is professional, personal or academic.
Your company hired you because you were an asset. You aced your interviews. You got the first project finished in record time. You were the rockstar... and then you slipped.. well dust yourself off.. and go get to that point again.. It was always you.. it can be you once again... if not at this job.. get another one.. but get there again!
Your girlfriend dated you because she thought you would be a positive addition to your life. You were the life of the party.. You could make her laugh anytime she needed a smile.. She found comfort in your ear.. and loved hearing your voice.. and would call/text you all day every day... It was why she was attracted to you.
Well, the relationship may not be any longer.. but you still are.. .and those are the same traits attractive to every single person in the other gender.
If a relationship has ended.. cherish the moments you had together... relish the fact that, for a while, however long it was, you gave each comfort, support.. and joy. Then wish the other the best for the future.
No point holding grudges...Sure you might feel vengeful, wronged, or just plain sad... But cry out a river.. build a bridge and then get over it. Do NOT get bitter. One job does not have to define your career. One relationship does not have to define your life.
People don't like change... but we have to deal with it.. whether its of our own choosing or not. Since its inevitable.. do yourself a favor.. and learn to deal with it... because it might look dark right now... but things do get better..
Savor the good times while you can.. because inevitably there will be some not so great times ahead..
As the great poet, Hafiz, so aptly put it..
Joy and Sorrow.. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
As I love quoting on this blog.. and I will once again..
"Nothing lasts forever..
even cold November rain"
...and then I went back into the conversation that my boss was having with me...
"... and its the way that people get back up from setbacks that really ends up defining them as people... To cut a long story short, Canuck, let me be the first to congratulate you on your promotion"
Victory is mine! :)
-The Canuck "Almost-big-shot" Engineer
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Money!
I walked into my room.. and finally paid attention to the top of my chest of drawers.. the place that I used to try to keep clean, but on which random things now found themselves, thanks to my "housecleaning"over the past year.
and then I noticed..
My Money Plant had died :(
It was a little plant. .gifted to me at my housewarming.. by my man Doc....it was supposed to be for good luck..
so obviously I put it in my bedroom..
I guess I should have paid more attention to it..
I was even reminded, nay, told to water it periodically..
Last time I did that was in the summer..
Guess, my money plant couldn't wait anymore for me .
and now.. The feeling's strong..
...The summer gone.
The Canuck "No Money No Power" Engineer
and then I noticed..
My Money Plant had died :(
It was a little plant. .gifted to me at my housewarming.. by my man Doc....it was supposed to be for good luck..
so obviously I put it in my bedroom..
I guess I should have paid more attention to it..
I was even reminded, nay, told to water it periodically..
Last time I did that was in the summer..
Guess, my money plant couldn't wait anymore for me .
and now.. The feeling's strong..
...The summer gone.
The Canuck "No Money No Power" Engineer
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Up in the Air
"Do you have my seatbelt buckle?"
I turned around to the person on the aisle seat as I was just getting adjusted to the middle seat of my flight back to SoCal, with a quizzical look that said..huh
"My seatbelt buckle.. I think you're using mine"
Damn aisle seat lady, i murmured... After years of flying one airline, I had gotten used to enjoying a certain status.. which included amongst its many benefits.. the guarantee of an exit row aisle seat! But due to a mechanical delay, I had missed my connection, and on standby beggars can't be choosers.. and so here I was.. stuck in the middle seat .. struggling with my seatbelt.
"Oh.. I'll trade you".. as I handed over my buckle to her, and then proceeded to buckle myself in.
and then I dived right into my pre-flight ritual.. sending a last minute text message to say I'd boarded.. shutting down my phone.. and picking out some reading material for the takeoff, before the laptop would come out.
"So are you visiting SoCal, or are you heading home", continued the lady.
I now looked up. Every man always hopes to sit next to a pretty young girl on a plane, since that helps mitigate the mundaneness that is flying, but in all my flights, with my luck, I'm usually stuck next to a middle aged person, not interested in chatting, or a very very large gentleman who insists on spilling over into my part of the arm rest and beyond.
But today.. after I had two mechanical delays..a missed connection and a middle seat, I find myself seated next to a fine young lady! Had my aviation luck finally turned?
"Nah, SoCal is home.. I was visiting CanuckLand for work, and now I'm headed back"
"Oh what do you do for work?"
wow, easy on the eye AND eager to converse.
"I'm an engineer.. I am THE canuck engineer!"
"wow.. sounds exciting.. and impressive".
"Its neither, really! What do you do?", continued I. I was going to be cramped up in the middle seat for a while, so might as well while it out having a fun conversation... and it seemed that this lady was intrigued by yours truly.. I mean.. very rarely.. on the right occasion.. when the stars align...and the weather is just fine...and if the light hits me just right... I can be a fun companion!
"I'm a MatchMaker!"
...strike 3...this was gonna be a drag.
"Cool." I was done with this conversation already.
"No seriously, I am. So what about you? I see you're not married"
I could predict what was coming up next. A soft sell, maybe even a hard sell.
"I could be y'know. Are you flying on business"
"haha, no.. I'm visiting my mother.. she lives in SoCal... Me and my boyfriend are visiting her for the week".
..and the shotclock expires.
"yeah, I think he's going to propose to me this weekend".
"What makes you think that? Has he given you any hints?" enquired the canuck.
"No... i just feel it y'know... "
"are you going to say Yes, or will you make him sweat?"
"aww.. he's so sweet. I'll say yes.. but i'm not worried if it doesn't happen right now.. I know it'll happen"
"neat.. so quite the romantic, I take it?" I continued.
"Oh god no! I used to be the total emotionless package... I'd date anybody.. but I would never want to be in a relationship.. "
"quite the transformation huh!"
"no really, I just found that guys would smother me.. I wanted to take things at my pace.. but they'd always want more.. or go faster than what I wanted...".
hmmm
"..i remember this guy I was dating... and suddenly I felt it was going too fast... I felt...y'know.. smothered".
well i don't missy.. i just met you!
"So what did you do?"
"I just ended it... I've always broken up with my bf's... I just ended it.. and went away.. "
"clean as a bandaid?"
"Yeah, just like that. I just shut it down.. and then started dating someone else...I wanted it my way"
interesting..
"are you glad you did that?"
"well, in the past I was always happy with that.. but this time around, I just realized it was a mistake.. "
"Mistake? how's that?"
"Well, he was really nice to me.. and was very open with his emotions... something I always found really hard to do. I was always bottled up.. I kept these shields around me.. I didn't want to be vulnerable y'know.. I wanted to my thing. be an independent woman..and I felt being emotional sort of hindered that...so I just walked away...."
"... but then I realized... the thing I liked about him was just that.. the openness of emotions.. y'know.. like he was never too cool to show his feelings.. to show he was hurt.. or upset.. He never used his manliness to act aloof... and that kinda helped me realize.. maybe it was okay for me to give into my emotions too".
"so where's the mistake in here?"... This sounded like a movie, and the lady seemed to wanna take just as long to narrate her story!~
"Well, I left him.. dated someone else.. but then I realized what I really wanted was what I had with this guy... but I just wasn't ready at that time to move at the pace he wanted to".
cool... I interjected.. not that she really needed me to say anything here.
"and after a while, we got back in touch.. and by that time I had realized I was okay with being vulnerable.. I mean I had been working on fixing the other parts of my life.. and then when it came to realizing the emotion on my personal side... the person i wanted to do that with was not with me.. .cuz of me".
"so did you ask him out again?"
"hell no.. I'm a girl! we don't do that! but I did initiate the first conversation.. y'know sent him a feeler, see how he was doing.. dating someone or not.. I mean he's such a sweetheart, he always get a lot of attention, so I had to make sure he was single, before I let him know I was.."
"Damn women and games"
"noo.. I really wasn't playing games.. I was young.. I was just 3 years out of college.. It was a different time for me...and what was weird was that most guys get intimidated by me.. maybe cuz of my sense of humor.. I dunno."
yeah, NOT your sense of humor!
".. but he was never intimidated.. and he kept pace with me.. making me laugh... and being real.."
I smiled to myself.. here was a matchmaker, ostensibly trying to size me up as a potential client.. but instead had me going all Dr. Phil on her.
"So how long did you end up getting back with that guy then?"
"are you kidding, he's sitting right there in the exit row.. we've been together over 2 years now!!"
damn guy took my exit seat!! but good for that guy..
"so are you guys pretty secure with each other?"
"oh of course.. and I'm glad I gave him that call. He asked me to move in 3 months later.. and I told him.. hey.. take it easy.. we'll get there.. lets just deal with my pace, alright "
I chuckled.. she was verbose.. but she enjoyed telling her story alright!
"...btw, he's been talking to that girl a LONG time now... does he not realize I'm here and i can see him!!!"
"lol.. i thought you guys were secure!!"
"hey a little bit of jealousy isn't a bad thing y'know"
and then almost like on cue.. the guy turns around, interrupts our conversation, and shows her a pic of something on his cellphone...and she feigns a laugh. and he goes back.
"y'know.. he did that purely because I had been talking to you all this time!"
wow, I thought... I looked up at the light above my seat... wondering how exactly it was hitting my face.
I still got it!!
-Canuck "The Aviator" Engineer
I turned around to the person on the aisle seat as I was just getting adjusted to the middle seat of my flight back to SoCal, with a quizzical look that said..huh
"My seatbelt buckle.. I think you're using mine"
Damn aisle seat lady, i murmured... After years of flying one airline, I had gotten used to enjoying a certain status.. which included amongst its many benefits.. the guarantee of an exit row aisle seat! But due to a mechanical delay, I had missed my connection, and on standby beggars can't be choosers.. and so here I was.. stuck in the middle seat .. struggling with my seatbelt.
"Oh.. I'll trade you".. as I handed over my buckle to her, and then proceeded to buckle myself in.
and then I dived right into my pre-flight ritual.. sending a last minute text message to say I'd boarded.. shutting down my phone.. and picking out some reading material for the takeoff, before the laptop would come out.
"So are you visiting SoCal, or are you heading home", continued the lady.
I now looked up. Every man always hopes to sit next to a pretty young girl on a plane, since that helps mitigate the mundaneness that is flying, but in all my flights, with my luck, I'm usually stuck next to a middle aged person, not interested in chatting, or a very very large gentleman who insists on spilling over into my part of the arm rest and beyond.
But today.. after I had two mechanical delays..a missed connection and a middle seat, I find myself seated next to a fine young lady! Had my aviation luck finally turned?
"Nah, SoCal is home.. I was visiting CanuckLand for work, and now I'm headed back"
"Oh what do you do for work?"
wow, easy on the eye AND eager to converse.
"I'm an engineer.. I am THE canuck engineer!"
"wow.. sounds exciting.. and impressive".
"Its neither, really! What do you do?", continued I. I was going to be cramped up in the middle seat for a while, so might as well while it out having a fun conversation... and it seemed that this lady was intrigued by yours truly.. I mean.. very rarely.. on the right occasion.. when the stars align...and the weather is just fine...and if the light hits me just right... I can be a fun companion!
"I'm a MatchMaker!"
...strike 3...this was gonna be a drag.
"Cool." I was done with this conversation already.
"No seriously, I am. So what about you? I see you're not married"
I could predict what was coming up next. A soft sell, maybe even a hard sell.
"I could be y'know. Are you flying on business"
"haha, no.. I'm visiting my mother.. she lives in SoCal... Me and my boyfriend are visiting her for the week".
..and the shotclock expires.
"yeah, I think he's going to propose to me this weekend".
"What makes you think that? Has he given you any hints?" enquired the canuck.
"No... i just feel it y'know... "
"are you going to say Yes, or will you make him sweat?"
"aww.. he's so sweet. I'll say yes.. but i'm not worried if it doesn't happen right now.. I know it'll happen"
"neat.. so quite the romantic, I take it?" I continued.
"Oh god no! I used to be the total emotionless package... I'd date anybody.. but I would never want to be in a relationship.. "
"quite the transformation huh!"
"no really, I just found that guys would smother me.. I wanted to take things at my pace.. but they'd always want more.. or go faster than what I wanted...".
hmmm
"..i remember this guy I was dating... and suddenly I felt it was going too fast... I felt...y'know.. smothered".
well i don't missy.. i just met you!
"So what did you do?"
"I just ended it... I've always broken up with my bf's... I just ended it.. and went away.. "
"clean as a bandaid?"
"Yeah, just like that. I just shut it down.. and then started dating someone else...I wanted it my way"
interesting..
"are you glad you did that?"
"well, in the past I was always happy with that.. but this time around, I just realized it was a mistake.. "
"Mistake? how's that?"
"Well, he was really nice to me.. and was very open with his emotions... something I always found really hard to do. I was always bottled up.. I kept these shields around me.. I didn't want to be vulnerable y'know.. I wanted to my thing. be an independent woman..and I felt being emotional sort of hindered that...so I just walked away...."
"... but then I realized... the thing I liked about him was just that.. the openness of emotions.. y'know.. like he was never too cool to show his feelings.. to show he was hurt.. or upset.. He never used his manliness to act aloof... and that kinda helped me realize.. maybe it was okay for me to give into my emotions too".
"so where's the mistake in here?"... This sounded like a movie, and the lady seemed to wanna take just as long to narrate her story!~
"Well, I left him.. dated someone else.. but then I realized what I really wanted was what I had with this guy... but I just wasn't ready at that time to move at the pace he wanted to".
cool... I interjected.. not that she really needed me to say anything here.
"and after a while, we got back in touch.. and by that time I had realized I was okay with being vulnerable.. I mean I had been working on fixing the other parts of my life.. and then when it came to realizing the emotion on my personal side... the person i wanted to do that with was not with me.. .cuz of me".
"so did you ask him out again?"
"hell no.. I'm a girl! we don't do that! but I did initiate the first conversation.. y'know sent him a feeler, see how he was doing.. dating someone or not.. I mean he's such a sweetheart, he always get a lot of attention, so I had to make sure he was single, before I let him know I was.."
"Damn women and games"
"noo.. I really wasn't playing games.. I was young.. I was just 3 years out of college.. It was a different time for me...and what was weird was that most guys get intimidated by me.. maybe cuz of my sense of humor.. I dunno."
yeah, NOT your sense of humor!
".. but he was never intimidated.. and he kept pace with me.. making me laugh... and being real.."
I smiled to myself.. here was a matchmaker, ostensibly trying to size me up as a potential client.. but instead had me going all Dr. Phil on her.
"So how long did you end up getting back with that guy then?"
"are you kidding, he's sitting right there in the exit row.. we've been together over 2 years now!!"
damn guy took my exit seat!! but good for that guy..
"so are you guys pretty secure with each other?"
"oh of course.. and I'm glad I gave him that call. He asked me to move in 3 months later.. and I told him.. hey.. take it easy.. we'll get there.. lets just deal with my pace, alright "
I chuckled.. she was verbose.. but she enjoyed telling her story alright!
"...btw, he's been talking to that girl a LONG time now... does he not realize I'm here and i can see him!!!"
"lol.. i thought you guys were secure!!"
"hey a little bit of jealousy isn't a bad thing y'know"
and then almost like on cue.. the guy turns around, interrupts our conversation, and shows her a pic of something on his cellphone...and she feigns a laugh. and he goes back.
"y'know.. he did that purely because I had been talking to you all this time!"
wow, I thought... I looked up at the light above my seat... wondering how exactly it was hitting my face.
I still got it!!
-Canuck "The Aviator" Engineer
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
"OMG... You smell really good... What cologne is that".. exclaims the waitress as she chooses to lean onto our table to rest her tired legs and ask us about our next round of drinks..
"Jean-Paul Gaultier?..Am I right?" continued the damsel.
"Sorry", I said", "That's just my B.O. You should really smell me when I actually have cologne on.!"
"aww common.. Its Givenchy?.. gotta be Givenchy".
I shook my head with a smile...rather amused at how this conversation had evolved.
"Gucci? Are you sure its not Gaultier?"
I just shook my head.. with a bigger grin.. cuz the wheels were turning..
"Its actually just him." as I pointed to the guy seated across the table... my good ole buddy Junior..
"Yeah.. its really his smell on me that you find so fragrant", I said with my best matter-of-fact face.
"Oh.. That's cool".. she quipped, without skipping a beat.
"Yeah, Its my cologne you can smell on him.. He always ends up stealing my scent" said Junior, getting into the story..
"wow.. you guys really boyfriends? I just didn't picture that when you came in".
"Now what is that supposed to mean? Are you not supportive of our lifestyle choices?"
"No.. no no no.. I mean yes.. absolutely.. So how long have you been dating?"
"Well, I just met him today after nearly 10 years" This part was true.. We were middle school buddies who went to neighboring colleges and then Junior went up and left to the UK in our sophomore year and I didn't really see him since then...
"We never did go through the college experimentation phase.. So just trying to see if that spark is still there".
"Oh.. well.. great.. are you guys kidding?"
By this time, Junior was cracking up... so that gave the lady a chance to get up and collect herself.
"So, would you guys like another round of Rickards Red?" Rickards.. one of my favorite brews, found only in Canuckland.. which I was happy to be visiting after a while..
So she comes back a few minutes later with a pitcher...
"... and seriously though.. was it Gaultier or Givenchy?"
"I really don't remember"
"It has to be... .See, I know my men's colognes"...
and then pours us each a glass of Hefeweizen. "Enjoy your Rickards guys"
Colognes she might have known...The difference between Rickards and Heff... not so much.
But even that wheat pour couldn't affect the great evening I had catching up with an ole bud...."Jimmy quit.. Jodie got married.." y'know that kind of thing..
Guess we all enjoy talking about our Summers of '69! :)
-The Canuck "not that old yet" Engineer!
"Jean-Paul Gaultier?..Am I right?" continued the damsel.
"Sorry", I said", "That's just my B.O. You should really smell me when I actually have cologne on.!"
"aww common.. Its Givenchy?.. gotta be Givenchy".
I shook my head with a smile...rather amused at how this conversation had evolved.
"Gucci? Are you sure its not Gaultier?"
I just shook my head.. with a bigger grin.. cuz the wheels were turning..
"Its actually just him." as I pointed to the guy seated across the table... my good ole buddy Junior..
"Yeah.. its really his smell on me that you find so fragrant", I said with my best matter-of-fact face.
"Oh.. That's cool".. she quipped, without skipping a beat.
"Yeah, Its my cologne you can smell on him.. He always ends up stealing my scent" said Junior, getting into the story..
"wow.. you guys really boyfriends? I just didn't picture that when you came in".
"Now what is that supposed to mean? Are you not supportive of our lifestyle choices?"
"No.. no no no.. I mean yes.. absolutely.. So how long have you been dating?"
"Well, I just met him today after nearly 10 years" This part was true.. We were middle school buddies who went to neighboring colleges and then Junior went up and left to the UK in our sophomore year and I didn't really see him since then...
"We never did go through the college experimentation phase.. So just trying to see if that spark is still there".
"Oh.. well.. great.. are you guys kidding?"
By this time, Junior was cracking up... so that gave the lady a chance to get up and collect herself.
"So, would you guys like another round of Rickards Red?" Rickards.. one of my favorite brews, found only in Canuckland.. which I was happy to be visiting after a while..
So she comes back a few minutes later with a pitcher...
"... and seriously though.. was it Gaultier or Givenchy?"
"I really don't remember"
"It has to be... .See, I know my men's colognes"...
and then pours us each a glass of Hefeweizen. "Enjoy your Rickards guys"
Colognes she might have known...The difference between Rickards and Heff... not so much.
But even that wheat pour couldn't affect the great evening I had catching up with an ole bud...."Jimmy quit.. Jodie got married.." y'know that kind of thing..
Guess we all enjoy talking about our Summers of '69! :)
-The Canuck "not that old yet" Engineer!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Legacy
The hits just keep coming this year.
Maybe I'm just getting older and this is now a normal part of life.
But that makes it 4 people close to me...this year.... and now an icon.
On the day the world was grieving the loss of an icon, I lost a friend..
one who truly lived her life in a short 28 years ..
and helped me get through some difficult times in my own life.
But the one thing that always fascinated me about her was how she was able to get up after being knocked down..every single time... brush it off, and then continue reveling in life.... that short part of which I shared with her.
Sometimes you just have to take risks ... those who we consider having made it are those who took risks.. and put it all on the line.. for times when they felt it all in the gut.
Trust your gut and live your passion... said the man who single-handedly revolutionized how future generations will use consumer electronics..
On Instinct
"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."
Have faith.. and go with it... When you look back, you'll see the road not taken. and the path you did tread on...and if you happen to be one of those visionaries.. chances are . you took the path not oft taken.... and if you're lucky.. you'll change the world...and if you're not...You'll live happy.
oh everyone should be so unlucky!
But that's what greatness is... finding the simple things in this complex walk of life... one that is unfortunately fleetingly escapes us..
and being conscious and aware of this very mortality is likely the most important thing in living a life fulfilling for yourself and others.
On life
"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
Lose the baggage..no one cares.. it doesn't matter...
You leave exactly how you came... empty handed
When its all said and done.. would you rather beam at all you had achieved... or regret not doing things you could have done..
Everyone comes into the world screaming away in tears as they leave the womb... but its those rare few who leave this place smiling, laughing, cheerful.. and on their own terms.. those are the kings of their destiny
If you feel it in your gut.. you go for it...
You live... on your own terms..
No reason not to follow your heart..
It won't beat for ever..
-The Canuck Engineer
Maybe I'm just getting older and this is now a normal part of life.
But that makes it 4 people close to me...this year.... and now an icon.
On the day the world was grieving the loss of an icon, I lost a friend..
one who truly lived her life in a short 28 years ..
and helped me get through some difficult times in my own life.
But the one thing that always fascinated me about her was how she was able to get up after being knocked down..every single time... brush it off, and then continue reveling in life.... that short part of which I shared with her.
Sometimes you just have to take risks ... those who we consider having made it are those who took risks.. and put it all on the line.. for times when they felt it all in the gut.
Trust your gut and live your passion... said the man who single-handedly revolutionized how future generations will use consumer electronics..
On Instinct
"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."
Have faith.. and go with it... When you look back, you'll see the road not taken. and the path you did tread on...and if you happen to be one of those visionaries.. chances are . you took the path not oft taken.... and if you're lucky.. you'll change the world...and if you're not...You'll live happy.
oh everyone should be so unlucky!
But that's what greatness is... finding the simple things in this complex walk of life... one that is unfortunately fleetingly escapes us..
and being conscious and aware of this very mortality is likely the most important thing in living a life fulfilling for yourself and others.
On life
"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
Lose the baggage..no one cares.. it doesn't matter...
You leave exactly how you came... empty handed
When its all said and done.. would you rather beam at all you had achieved... or regret not doing things you could have done..
Everyone comes into the world screaming away in tears as they leave the womb... but its those rare few who leave this place smiling, laughing, cheerful.. and on their own terms.. those are the kings of their destiny
If you feel it in your gut.. you go for it...
You live... on your own terms..
No reason not to follow your heart..
It won't beat for ever..
-The Canuck Engineer
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