The Durrrty South!

What's the price of a shoe?

Most of the men would probably say.. less than a Hundy! unless they're those Air Jordan's at the peak of their popularity.. in which case 2 Benjamin's was about right, and in which case you about 15 years too late to the party!

Well in Louisiana apparently, the price of a shoe is much higher than that.

Louisiana? What the hell was I doing there? that's exactly the question I've been pondering too.. suffice to say, I took the wrong flight there..and then decided to make the most of it :)

Indian Wedding.. The Dirrty South....2 Groomsmen, including yours truly, protecting the grooms shoes. 4 Bridesmaids, conniving their evil plans to steal those very shoes.

SHOES! Stealing Shoes! USED & WORN shoes!
Would a shoe by any other name not smell like a shoe? Call 'em florsheims or call 'em Jooties...They still wreak!

What kinda state is this? The DB's had been right to warn me of the Sooouthh!

"Give us those shoes.. Its a custom, We sell these shoes back to the groom. This is our payday", yelled the Brides "sisters".

"Sorry ladies, you're gonna have to go through me first", proudly proclaimed CanuckEngineer, in his latest avatar as Chief Protector of the Groom's Kicks.

That's right.. Every Dog has his Day.. today was gonna be mine!

As I sat watching the bride & groom exchanging their vows, my little pinky attached to the bag holding the precious cargo, I heard a rustle...and then some bustle.. and before I knew it, it was a 3on1 on the CanuckEngineer.... (and no, not the kind of 3-on-1 most men dream of), resulting in me left holding the bag, literally, sans the bullion!

So much for Chief Protector, eh, The only silver lining being the buffet outside. I walk towards said silver lining, only to find my shoes missing, cleverly hidden by the "dark side" as insurance!

As I ponder the very existence of my shoes, calusses occuring on my barefeet, I get hauled up by the groom's aunts... "Where the shoes at?". Shrug of the shoulder, as I point to my bare feet.. and I get a "WHAHHHAT? You lost the groom's shoes to those GIRLS?.. wait.. whatt.. you lost YOUR shoes tooo? What good are you?"

ok ok.. i get the point.. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200!

"HOW COULD YOU? You gave the shoes away? Whats the groom gonna walk in? you couldn't hold your own against GIRLS half your age and a quarter your size?"

ok.. first of all.. two-thirds my age!! you know what...never mind! I'd lost my battle, lost my pride.. and also lost my shoes...the only thing worse would be if I lost my appetite!

sigh.. so much for being the Big Dog!

Sometimes you're the dog.. Sometimes you're the Fire Hydrant..

Today.. I wasn't the Dog!