Influence!

"Excuse me, Sir, but did you just park there?" bellowed the cop running towards me with a flashlight.

What's the world come down to! Cops on a Saturday Night have nothing better to than to play meter maid?

I did a double take, my recent relationship with Southern Californian Parking Authorities was getting a bit too close for comfort, and lately, a lot of their wining and dining musta been courtesy the Canuck Engineer!.

"Yes, Officer, I sure did", convinced I'd parked within the allocated lines, AND when the meter was off. This guy had no shot of giving me a parking ticket, that's fer sure!

"Where are you coming from?
"uhh... a bar, where I just had me some delicious wings, and I thought I'd bring some back for my friends in this building." I felt like Lady Gaga's latest wardrobe malfunction... Nothing to hide!

"Oh where's my manners, Care for some buffalo hot, officer?" I offered the cop, my Canadian up bringing kicking in.

"Sir, have you been drinking?"

Well, I did come from a bar.. Do cops do this on purpose? I JUST CAME FROM A BAR!

"Yeah, I had a drink!" I proclaimed emphatically, with the confidence of Dubya during Mission Accomplished.

"Just one drink?" the flashlight shines in my eyes.

"Yeah, I had one beer. ONE beer". I was wondering if it was rude to spell out Beer. B as in Bob...E as in... sigh

"Okay, Sir, Can you please follow this pen with your eyes and not your head".

giggle.. he said head.

"Sir.. with your eyes.. not your head".

giggle.. he said it again.

"SIR.... please follow this pen with your eyes ONLY"

woah.. toy cop turned into Seargant Neanderthal.

"What's going on Officer?"

"We have here a DUI checkpoint, and I saw you park your car right before it. We're trying to catch any one trying to evade the checkpoint"

Oh.. excrement just got real!

Focus, canuck, Focus. eyes.. not neck. not head.. EYES.

"Okay Officer.. do it again"

and with the skills of a seeing eye dog, I followed that pen like a champ! That Bic mighta thought I was stalking it....

"Thank you Sir, you're good to go"
what that's it? Way to be stingy with the praise man.. I followed that pen like there was no tomorrow.... and I did it while holding a very distracting box of Hot Buffalo Wings!

"So wait, did you just gimme a sobreity test, while I was walking". What was he gonna charge me with .. Walking Under No Influence?

"Thank you Sir, have a great evening. "

Well, thank you Officer Chatty! sheesh.

I guess I got my first Sobreity Test.. fortunately, I had not indulged that evening..

Come to think of it.. I had. I had indulged in some fine goat cheese, and the most scrumptious of bruschettas.... all the while savoring the most radiant of smiles that only a scrumptious slice of tortamisu could bring about..

Yep, you could say I had an Extraordinary day!

Going Postal!

He parks his minivan on the side of the road, and pops open the trunk.
He adjusts his satchel, and stashes it with more of the goods from his trunk.
He shuffles the envelopes in his hand and makes a stack.
the larger stack he put wraps an elastic band around.

He goes from house to house.. his hat on his forehead.. his satchel on his side.. and completes his task.
Its raining, its windy.. its sunny.. he makes the same rounds.. day after day... making the house calls he's obligated to...

and every evening we come back home, and look at my mailbox.. and cuss at the bills that are piled up in there... not sparing a thought for the satchel-donning, hat-clad mailman who delivers the mail and keeps the world ticking.

and with the internet, and e-bills, you'd think snail mail is soon to go the way of the dinosaur.

not anytime soon, it seems.

because as Newman would say "When you control the mail.. you control.. infohmashun!"

Salute your everyday heroes, folks... tip your mailman this Christmas!

Ye shall receive!

"we got next"

That's how you call "next" on the basketball courts. Its a statement... we're here.. and we're taking on the winners.. that's just the way it is... you play ... "for the courts"..

well maybe not "For the Courts", American History X style.....although that was on my to-do list.. to go play in compton.. "For the Courts" :)

But it used to be different. When you went to the courts behind the middle school.. you just walked in and said.. "hey guys.. can I play?" as simple as that.. Ask. "Can.. I ... Play".

if they were smartasses, they'd say.. "Well, can you?"..and then you showed em... of course if you were me.. you'd grin.. cuz you knew you wouldn't show em... but you'd still ask... "So what team am i on!"

but as we grow up.. we forget about the beauty of asking...and instead worry about the possible response... but if you don't ask for something.. you're no worse off than where you were before you started...

When i was a youngun... (yeah, many many many moons ago).. and flew on airlines as a minor..I'd get toys... and chocolate.. yeah.. mini airplanes, toy cars, swiss chocolate galore... it was fun to fly as a youngun.

But then I turned "older than a youngun".. and suddenly.. no pre-meal napkins.. no clock airplanes..no swiss chocolate. and so I endured the gruesome journey, over the Atlantic.. with the grumpiness of a baby that had thrown all his toys out of the pram... except that I never got em to begin with!

So at the next layover.. I asked the kind lady at the frequent flyer desk... "Can I get the toys Unaccompanied Minors get?"... The lady smiled. I then proceeded to the McDonalds, to begin my assault on the European version of the Big Mac (even back then, Big was a very generous term to use!).

As I walked into the plane to begin my next leg, a voice behind me goes.. "Is that you, Mr. Canuck Junior?".. I sure is, I beamed.. and then she went into the pantry (or the galley, or whatever they call them on an aircraft) and came out with a huge bag marked with my name on it... and there it was.. I had my mini airplanes.. and my toy cars... and enough swiss chocolates for my dentist to have a coronary!

All I did was ask.

So the next time you're in Vegas and you want some of those mini-jam and ketchup bottles for your own selection... Will you remember to ask?

The next time you get pulled over, and want the cop to let you off with a warning considering your clean record.. (and the fact that you're canadian!)... Will you remember to ask?

The next time you're a point away from making the next grade in your class, and that would be the difference between a scholarship or not... .. Will you remember to ask?

The next time you bartend at a party, and a heavenly beauty walks in for a drink...will you remember...
...
...
to ask?

-The Canuck Engineer

Epilogue

Pay not attention to the senselessness of the illness that consumed our friend... but instead let us celebrate the joy that his young life brought about in all of us. The words of the grieving brother as he opened up the service.

and for the next little while, that is exactly what we did.

The sister shared her memories of the brother any sibling would love to have. The wonder that was her brother, how she looked up to him and how much of a pillar of support he'd been to her... it all came pouring out...in between sobs and chokes...a sentiment shared by everyone at the service.

Then the brother shared his most cherished moments, and as he described some of his experiences as a 4 year old, for the first time in the day, you could see him take a brief hiatus from the rock he'd been ever since the turmoil began a few months ago. But displaying the strength he had, as the man of the household, he labored on, and supported every single person who came up to share their favorite memories of our fallen friend.

There is probably nothing more tragic than a father having to talk about burying his son. He did not give a eulogy, as much as he had a conversation with his son who lay not 5 feet away. It would be easy to term this the biggest misfortune a family might ever have, but once you heard everyone talk about how much of an impact my noble friend had on their lives, how deeply he had touched the souls of so many, you started reconsidering mourning his devastating loss to celebrating and appreciating the brief but impactful time he had in this world.

They say that the Lord would not put you through anything you can't handle. and so would be the destiny of his new bride, who celebrated but a few weeks of her blissful marriage before he took ill, that she would be the source of strength for her soulmate for the next 5 months till death doth them apart.

while it was probably no one's intention to be that way, the heartfelt emotions pouring out in the form of words resulted in some of the most eloquent tributes you could hope for anyone to receive...and while he did not know it as he rested peacefully encased in solid oak, our friend was the wave of graciousness that entered our lives, drenched us, and just as transiently.. left us.

As the priest recited the prayers for the peace of the departed, you begin to wonder about the mysterious ways of the Lord. He lets some see their great grand kids get to college, and yet, just as graciously, he takes away some before they see their 32nd birthday.

and you started to wonder...maybe, just maybe.. the big guy above does have a plan for all of us...maybe not immediately apparent to those of us not enlightened who still consider earth their domicile, but surely, there must be a reason why sometimes those most loved and least deserving of suffering are the ones taken away the soonest.

The way he spelt his name, he was always on top of my contact list.... and metaphorically, with his conduct, he would always find himself at the top of everyone's list. As they closed the service, the family asked of us..to celebrate his legacy, and to consider celebrating the time we do have here.

Everyone dies at some point.. .but does everyone live?

You will always be at the top of my list. I will hope that you can now rest peacefully, now that you're relieved from all the suffering.... but I know..there's a lot more souls you are about to touch in that big playground upstairs.

I will miss you, my friend.

-The Canuck Engineer

Sunset

The Dog Days of summer are the sultriest, toughest days of the season.

Every now and then you get a preview of the warmth of that beloved season in the middle of a cold winter...

and the sun rays gleam on your skin..
and the wind blows through your hair..
and you ride through the California freeway system with the top down, feeling alive.

But its the circle of life... As sure as the crest today.. .following soon after is a trough.
and sometimes you descend into it like quicksand...at other times it hits you like a ton of bricks...

and the sense of taste leaves your tongue..
and the appetite leaves your stomach..
and the thought of slumber leaves your body..
all while you wonder why it is those who least deserve it suffer most.

Whether its those hit by the tsunami in Japan
or perhaps those hit by the vagaries of life a lot closer to home..
you wonder...and you pity... and you mourn..

Some mourn in company, others in solitude..
its undeniable..there is grief in loss, and we all deal with it... in our own way..

and in the midst of those gloomy, cloudy days..
right in the middle of dealing with the cocktail of emotions you never knew even existed..
as you stare aimlessly at the horizon, wondering when it will be dawn again...
you witness unbridled joy...
like that on the face of a newborn's father,
or the satisfaction at the first bite of a chocolate chip cookie at the end of a fasting day..
and you finally start appreciating the hairpin turns in the journey we call life..

and if only for a brief few moments..
the sun shines again...
the wind blows again

and from the trenches of your heart, you let out a wry smile.

Remember the time?

Remember the times back in Canuck Collegiate Institute?

Remember all those times we walked to school on top of multiple feet of snow, clad in our parkas, rocking our thermal mitts but too cool to wear a "toque", cuz covering your head wasn't manly! Remember all those subsequent bouts of pneumonia we all suffered through?

Remember that time that OleN decided to fore-go gloves, and hid his hands in his parka, only to get his face intimately acquainted with the slippery ice road!

Remember when the VP of attendance caught us skipping class, and decided to chase us around on a bicycle.. and then fell.... and then we went to check up on him to see if he was seriously injured, only to get detention for the entire week after that!

Remember when we decided in all our ingenuity, to celebrate a friends 18th birthday by drinking Hard Lemonade .. that too, of all places, in the bleachers on the football field... remember the sinking feeling we got when we saw police lights heading towards us through the football field, and the visions of being behind bars that fleeted through our thoughts? Remember how cool we thought it was that we were rocking Mike's Hard Lemonade!!

Remember how we sawed off a tree to make a nice seating area for us behind the baseball field... the area forever entrenched in our memory as the Log of Wood... why did we feel the need to describe what the log was made of?

Remember the time when you had a massive crush on the young English Teacher.. and how devastated you were when you found out that on the last day of class, which you skipped, she gave out hugs to her first ever class....and remember the expression on her face when you went to the staff room to demand your hug, after all!

Remember when you realized that taking the bus 40 minutes after the one you usually took would get you to class only 5 minutes late, thus justifying an extra 30 minutes of snoozing? Remember how brilliant that decision felt when you were barred from all your classes for 30 consecutive "Lates"?

Remember how proud you were of the group purchase of the $500 Crown Victoria, in which every part made a louder sound than the horn ? How did that feel when the cops showed up to claim their "stolen"car back :)

Remember how proud you were that a Hollywood Film was being shot at your school many years after you graduated? Remember how bummed you were that it turned out to be "Mean Girls"

Remember the times you used to go to the library to "study", but only during the times the cute exchange student had a spare?

Also remember how crushed you were when you bid $10 for Hug and Kiss from that exchange student, only to find out she was doling out Hershey's Candy?

sigh... I love meeting up with high school friends, to reminisce back to the Time of Our Lives!

The "Greenday" Canuck Engineer