Dear Diary,
I want the perfect man.
I want him to find me.
I want him to be my friend.
I want him to become my companion.
I want him to understand me.
I want him to get me.
I want him to be strong when I need him to be.
I want him to be funny when I want to smile.
I want him to be goofy so I can roll my eyes
I want him to know how to listen so I could vent.
I want him to make me realize I don't have to be short tempered.
I want him to make me realize I can be fun too.
Every time I think of him, I want to smile.
I want to be able to talk to him about anything.
I want to be able to talk to him about everything.
I don't want there to be anything I can't talk to him about.
I want him to be able to take control.
I want him to know what I want, even when I don't.
I want him to be able to make me blush.
I want to feel butterflies with him.
I want him to be a big part of my day...everyday
I want to be able to hear his voice every single day.. multiple times
I want to move into his heart
I want him to figure out a way to move into mine
I want him to be my lover... and also my friend.
I want him to be a pretty awesome guy.
Does he exist?
-Girl
Dear Diary,
I went out with this girl the other day.
I bought her a cookie.
She gave me the first bite.
I will never go hungry.
I found the perfect girl.
-Guy
Monday, November 7, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Foot in Mouth Disease
Its Happy Hour..
"Omg, Canuck.. I have some news for you... My buddy and I just started a new venture..."
"Wow, that's awesome.. so you quit your job, and you're now diving into this? that's awesome.. You've always wanted to be an entrepreneur!"
"yeah.. thanks Canuck.. I'm excited too! Its actually a really new concept.. and I'll really looking forward to it picking up"
"That's really neat.. Let me buy you your next round.. y'know.. it'll be my congratulations to you"
Everyone at the table gets a new drink. I get her a glass of red wine..
"Lets all toast to our good friend G... and her new ... uhmm.. new.. uhh.. conception"
Awkward silence.. everyone sips.. looking at me with a WTF expression.
Just another Wednesday night in the life of Canuck.
-The "Immaculate" Canuck Engineer
Wtf was I
"Omg, Canuck.. I have some news for you... My buddy and I just started a new venture..."
"Wow, that's awesome.. so you quit your job, and you're now diving into this? that's awesome.. You've always wanted to be an entrepreneur!"
"yeah.. thanks Canuck.. I'm excited too! Its actually a really new concept.. and I'll really looking forward to it picking up"
"That's really neat.. Let me buy you your next round.. y'know.. it'll be my congratulations to you"
Everyone at the table gets a new drink. I get her a glass of red wine..
"Lets all toast to our good friend G... and her new ... uhmm.. new.. uhh.. conception"
Awkward silence.. everyone sips.. looking at me with a WTF expression.
Just another Wednesday night in the life of Canuck.
-The "Immaculate" Canuck Engineer
Wtf was I
Two Shakes of a Lamb's Tail
My boss decided to walk into my office last Friday... at the end of the day.
This was the guy who hired me many many moons ago when I was the Canuck Intern Engineer... We went back a long way....or so I always felt. He had now become a big shot within the organization.. and so our interactions were not as frequent as before.
"So how're things Canuck....Are you still worthy of this office, or should we get you into a cubicle already".. Good Ole boss.. always knew how to pay me a compliment!
There's never time for pleasantries with the big shots.. so you have to take advantage of the time you do get.. and I had always wanted his opinion on how he managed people.
In the world we live, we are defined by our relationships with people. Every single person you meet .. they become a part of your life.. in however insignificant a part.. but still a part. Those that matter will become a bigger part of your life story.. others may become mere footnotes.. some might be relegated to the addendums.. some may not even make it to the index..but dealing with people is probably the single most important skill anyone can acquire as long as the world we live in has humans.
He dove in to the answer... and then after another follow up question.. continued.
"....the hardest part is to make sure people stay motivated. We've all been passed up for a promotion.. sometimes twice. Its how you handle these things that define your career.. I mean who amongst us has not been rejected in some part of our lives... ".
It was pretty topical.
Coworkers had been affected.
Some of my friends had been affected..
I'm sure a lot of people I don't know are also affected.
I wish I could say all of this to them..
Rejection.
When things don't go the way you had anticipated, there are always repercussions.. Everyone deals with setbacks in pretty much everything they do. Which banker has not had a merger canceled on him? There isn't a salesman or real estate agent who had a deal fall through when everything was just set. Every single employee at some point has felt some form of rejection. whether it was an anticipated promotion they felt they deserved.. a career opportunity.. a raise... There is always a setback.
Most people in the 20s or 30s have experienced at least one relationship setback.. Some had high school sweethearts that didn't work out.. Some even got left at the altar... Others get married and then get divorced. There isn't one of these situations that feels good at that time. Heck, How I Met Your Mother is a show where a man tells his kids the story of him meeting his mother.. but six seasons in, all I see are stories of heartbreak after another.
But that's just pretty much a fact of life. There will always be rejection.. There will always be a sense of loss. Some forms of loss are much graver than others. Having a close relative, a parent or a spouse die..even worse.. having to bury your kid. That is a colossal loss.. one that might take forever to heal from.. Others may be easier to deal with.
Regardless, you still need to deal with it.
The way you deal with rejection ends up defining the way you see life. Unfortunately, people take vary different approaches to dealing with this. I met a friend of mine who had just broken off an engagement. He kept telling me how his health was deteriorating, his job performance suffered. and that he just could not focus on anything.. and that he felt bitter about any future relationships.
There's no sugar coating it. Its tough. We've all been there. When things don't go your way, sometimes you can laugh it off, sleep in and be ready the next morning.. Other times, you might find yourself unable to focus on anything. You watch entire movies but don't' remember half of what you saw.. You might sit on a couch for hours and not recall watching a single show. You might drive for hours.. and not remember any part of the commute. You might imagine the phone ringing.. or constantly hope for emails or text messages .. Heck, you might lock your keys in your car multiple times . and then proceed to lock yourself out of your own house.. all within a week, just because your mind is elsewhere.. ..cuz you're distracted... because you're too busy wondering "what if".. you're too busy thinking about "why".. or "how".
There are two paths you can take... You can either blame yourself... or you can improve yourself..
Too often people start blaming themselves.or . If I would have done this.. then that would not have happened.... Or make excuses like.. .My damn boss just has it out for me.... or He was never really into me.
If you got passed up for a promotion, then you spend some time analyzing why that happened.. figure out was there anything else you could have done.. and then make sure you learn from that.. and do it better the next time.
Invest in yourself. Figure out.. were there any mistakes I made?. Don't repeat the same mistakes again. There are always things you can do better.. Do them better.
Learn to see the signs. Every time you think a bombshell has been dropped on you..chances are there were signs alluding to it. Maybe you hadn't been getting the top assignments at work for a while. That's a sign. Maybe "he" was just not calling you often enough.. That's a sign. Maybe "she" was always too busy with her friends to make time for you. These are all signs.
If you're a top performer like you think.. your company WILL keep you relevant. They will involve in you in the top projects.
If your girlfriend/wife is really into you, she WILL make time for you.. She will value your opinion.
If your bf/husband values you in his life.. he will go out of his way to make you feel special.
If any of those things used to happen, but no longer do.. then make sure you stay aware of that. Man is a creature of habit.. he follows the same pattern. If patterns change.. that is a dead giveaway.. somethings awry.. You can either try to nip it in the bud and deal with it then, or don't pay attention at your own peril.
Relationships may not work out for so many reasons. Too old, too young.. not the right time.. not enough time.. too far to make it work ,... too close to give any space...too boring.. too hectic... sometimes you just lose the attraction... and sometimes catastrophic events happen that one of you .. or both of you.. just can not recover from....
But you can NOT take the setback personally. Its too easy to blame yourself.. to play the victim card, feel self-pity.. and in the process lose the most important part of your life.. You!
You invested in an education for a reason.
You might have gone to the top schools of the world.
You have worked your butt off the past few years (or months or decades) because you took pride in your work.
You used to work out so you could maintain a positive appearance.
So why throw all that down the drain now!
So it didn't work out... But it did at one time? At one time you were the top salesman in your company.. At one time, He would have dinner planned for you when you got home... At one time, she would go out of her way to buy you something special.
and in two shakes of a lambs tail.. it could all change.
That's okay. It happens.. .That's life.. No one said it had to be fair.
But be constructive.. not destructive.
Spend some time working on yourself.
Invest in that diploma.. in that degree. There will always be value for an education... always.. don't let the high school dropout billionaires fool you...note that the very companies they run insist on hiring at top schools only! Hypocritical?, perhaps... truth? absolutely!
Take pride in your appearance.. Don't let your face look like you just came back from a 4month trip to the Andes. Don't let your gut look like you chose to prepare for a famine.
Don't spend all your time feeling glum.. Go out and do things.
Hit the gym... Go hike that trail you always wanted. Start playing sports again. Get a new hobby.. Pay attention to your friends. Make time for your family.
It is tough to deal with a setback. It takes time. But there are things you can do to help yourself.. and there are things you can do to hurt yourself.
There will be always be value for a man who knows his worth. same for a woman.
Regardless of the situation.. whether is professional, personal or academic.
Your company hired you because you were an asset. You aced your interviews. You got the first project finished in record time. You were the rockstar... and then you slipped.. well dust yourself off.. and go get to that point again.. It was always you.. it can be you once again... if not at this job.. get another one.. but get there again!
Your girlfriend dated you because she thought you would be a positive addition to your life. You were the life of the party.. You could make her laugh anytime she needed a smile.. She found comfort in your ear.. and loved hearing your voice.. and would call/text you all day every day... It was why she was attracted to you.
Well, the relationship may not be any longer.. but you still are.. .and those are the same traits attractive to every single person in the other gender.
If a relationship has ended.. cherish the moments you had together... relish the fact that, for a while, however long it was, you gave each comfort, support.. and joy. Then wish the other the best for the future.
No point holding grudges...Sure you might feel vengeful, wronged, or just plain sad... But cry out a river.. build a bridge and then get over it. Do NOT get bitter. One job does not have to define your career. One relationship does not have to define your life.
People don't like change... but we have to deal with it.. whether its of our own choosing or not. Since its inevitable.. do yourself a favor.. and learn to deal with it... because it might look dark right now... but things do get better..
Savor the good times while you can.. because inevitably there will be some not so great times ahead..
As the great poet, Hafiz, so aptly put it..
Joy and Sorrow.. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
As I love quoting on this blog.. and I will once again..
"Nothing lasts forever..
even cold November rain"
...and then I went back into the conversation that my boss was having with me...
"... and its the way that people get back up from setbacks that really ends up defining them as people... To cut a long story short, Canuck, let me be the first to congratulate you on your promotion"
Victory is mine! :)
-The Canuck "Almost-big-shot" Engineer
This was the guy who hired me many many moons ago when I was the Canuck Intern Engineer... We went back a long way....or so I always felt. He had now become a big shot within the organization.. and so our interactions were not as frequent as before.
"So how're things Canuck....Are you still worthy of this office, or should we get you into a cubicle already".. Good Ole boss.. always knew how to pay me a compliment!
There's never time for pleasantries with the big shots.. so you have to take advantage of the time you do get.. and I had always wanted his opinion on how he managed people.
In the world we live, we are defined by our relationships with people. Every single person you meet .. they become a part of your life.. in however insignificant a part.. but still a part. Those that matter will become a bigger part of your life story.. others may become mere footnotes.. some might be relegated to the addendums.. some may not even make it to the index..but dealing with people is probably the single most important skill anyone can acquire as long as the world we live in has humans.
He dove in to the answer... and then after another follow up question.. continued.
"....the hardest part is to make sure people stay motivated. We've all been passed up for a promotion.. sometimes twice. Its how you handle these things that define your career.. I mean who amongst us has not been rejected in some part of our lives... ".
It was pretty topical.
Coworkers had been affected.
Some of my friends had been affected..
I'm sure a lot of people I don't know are also affected.
I wish I could say all of this to them..
Rejection.
When things don't go the way you had anticipated, there are always repercussions.. Everyone deals with setbacks in pretty much everything they do. Which banker has not had a merger canceled on him? There isn't a salesman or real estate agent who had a deal fall through when everything was just set. Every single employee at some point has felt some form of rejection. whether it was an anticipated promotion they felt they deserved.. a career opportunity.. a raise... There is always a setback.
Most people in the 20s or 30s have experienced at least one relationship setback.. Some had high school sweethearts that didn't work out.. Some even got left at the altar... Others get married and then get divorced. There isn't one of these situations that feels good at that time. Heck, How I Met Your Mother is a show where a man tells his kids the story of him meeting his mother.. but six seasons in, all I see are stories of heartbreak after another.
But that's just pretty much a fact of life. There will always be rejection.. There will always be a sense of loss. Some forms of loss are much graver than others. Having a close relative, a parent or a spouse die..even worse.. having to bury your kid. That is a colossal loss.. one that might take forever to heal from.. Others may be easier to deal with.
Regardless, you still need to deal with it.
The way you deal with rejection ends up defining the way you see life. Unfortunately, people take vary different approaches to dealing with this. I met a friend of mine who had just broken off an engagement. He kept telling me how his health was deteriorating, his job performance suffered. and that he just could not focus on anything.. and that he felt bitter about any future relationships.
There's no sugar coating it. Its tough. We've all been there. When things don't go your way, sometimes you can laugh it off, sleep in and be ready the next morning.. Other times, you might find yourself unable to focus on anything. You watch entire movies but don't' remember half of what you saw.. You might sit on a couch for hours and not recall watching a single show. You might drive for hours.. and not remember any part of the commute. You might imagine the phone ringing.. or constantly hope for emails or text messages .. Heck, you might lock your keys in your car multiple times . and then proceed to lock yourself out of your own house.. all within a week, just because your mind is elsewhere.. ..cuz you're distracted... because you're too busy wondering "what if".. you're too busy thinking about "why".. or "how".
There are two paths you can take... You can either blame yourself... or you can improve yourself..
Too often people start blaming themselves.or . If I would have done this.. then that would not have happened.... Or make excuses like.. .My damn boss just has it out for me.... or He was never really into me.
If you got passed up for a promotion, then you spend some time analyzing why that happened.. figure out was there anything else you could have done.. and then make sure you learn from that.. and do it better the next time.
Invest in yourself. Figure out.. were there any mistakes I made?. Don't repeat the same mistakes again. There are always things you can do better.. Do them better.
Learn to see the signs. Every time you think a bombshell has been dropped on you..chances are there were signs alluding to it. Maybe you hadn't been getting the top assignments at work for a while. That's a sign. Maybe "he" was just not calling you often enough.. That's a sign. Maybe "she" was always too busy with her friends to make time for you. These are all signs.
If you're a top performer like you think.. your company WILL keep you relevant. They will involve in you in the top projects.
If your girlfriend/wife is really into you, she WILL make time for you.. She will value your opinion.
If your bf/husband values you in his life.. he will go out of his way to make you feel special.
If any of those things used to happen, but no longer do.. then make sure you stay aware of that. Man is a creature of habit.. he follows the same pattern. If patterns change.. that is a dead giveaway.. somethings awry.. You can either try to nip it in the bud and deal with it then, or don't pay attention at your own peril.
Relationships may not work out for so many reasons. Too old, too young.. not the right time.. not enough time.. too far to make it work ,... too close to give any space...too boring.. too hectic... sometimes you just lose the attraction... and sometimes catastrophic events happen that one of you .. or both of you.. just can not recover from....
But you can NOT take the setback personally. Its too easy to blame yourself.. to play the victim card, feel self-pity.. and in the process lose the most important part of your life.. You!
You invested in an education for a reason.
You might have gone to the top schools of the world.
You have worked your butt off the past few years (or months or decades) because you took pride in your work.
You used to work out so you could maintain a positive appearance.
So why throw all that down the drain now!
So it didn't work out... But it did at one time? At one time you were the top salesman in your company.. At one time, He would have dinner planned for you when you got home... At one time, she would go out of her way to buy you something special.
and in two shakes of a lambs tail.. it could all change.
That's okay. It happens.. .That's life.. No one said it had to be fair.
But be constructive.. not destructive.
Spend some time working on yourself.
Invest in that diploma.. in that degree. There will always be value for an education... always.. don't let the high school dropout billionaires fool you...note that the very companies they run insist on hiring at top schools only! Hypocritical?, perhaps... truth? absolutely!
Take pride in your appearance.. Don't let your face look like you just came back from a 4month trip to the Andes. Don't let your gut look like you chose to prepare for a famine.
Don't spend all your time feeling glum.. Go out and do things.
Hit the gym... Go hike that trail you always wanted. Start playing sports again. Get a new hobby.. Pay attention to your friends. Make time for your family.
It is tough to deal with a setback. It takes time. But there are things you can do to help yourself.. and there are things you can do to hurt yourself.
There will be always be value for a man who knows his worth. same for a woman.
Regardless of the situation.. whether is professional, personal or academic.
Your company hired you because you were an asset. You aced your interviews. You got the first project finished in record time. You were the rockstar... and then you slipped.. well dust yourself off.. and go get to that point again.. It was always you.. it can be you once again... if not at this job.. get another one.. but get there again!
Your girlfriend dated you because she thought you would be a positive addition to your life. You were the life of the party.. You could make her laugh anytime she needed a smile.. She found comfort in your ear.. and loved hearing your voice.. and would call/text you all day every day... It was why she was attracted to you.
Well, the relationship may not be any longer.. but you still are.. .and those are the same traits attractive to every single person in the other gender.
If a relationship has ended.. cherish the moments you had together... relish the fact that, for a while, however long it was, you gave each comfort, support.. and joy. Then wish the other the best for the future.
No point holding grudges...Sure you might feel vengeful, wronged, or just plain sad... But cry out a river.. build a bridge and then get over it. Do NOT get bitter. One job does not have to define your career. One relationship does not have to define your life.
People don't like change... but we have to deal with it.. whether its of our own choosing or not. Since its inevitable.. do yourself a favor.. and learn to deal with it... because it might look dark right now... but things do get better..
Savor the good times while you can.. because inevitably there will be some not so great times ahead..
As the great poet, Hafiz, so aptly put it..
Joy and Sorrow.. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
As I love quoting on this blog.. and I will once again..
"Nothing lasts forever..
even cold November rain"
...and then I went back into the conversation that my boss was having with me...
"... and its the way that people get back up from setbacks that really ends up defining them as people... To cut a long story short, Canuck, let me be the first to congratulate you on your promotion"
Victory is mine! :)
-The Canuck "Almost-big-shot" Engineer
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Money!
I walked into my room.. and finally paid attention to the top of my chest of drawers.. the place that I used to try to keep clean, but on which random things now found themselves, thanks to my "housecleaning"over the past year.
and then I noticed..
My Money Plant had died :(
It was a little plant. .gifted to me at my housewarming.. by my man Doc....it was supposed to be for good luck..
so obviously I put it in my bedroom..
I guess I should have paid more attention to it..
I was even reminded, nay, told to water it periodically..
Last time I did that was in the summer..
Guess, my money plant couldn't wait anymore for me .
and now.. The feeling's strong..
...The summer gone.
The Canuck "No Money No Power" Engineer
and then I noticed..
My Money Plant had died :(
It was a little plant. .gifted to me at my housewarming.. by my man Doc....it was supposed to be for good luck..
so obviously I put it in my bedroom..
I guess I should have paid more attention to it..
I was even reminded, nay, told to water it periodically..
Last time I did that was in the summer..
Guess, my money plant couldn't wait anymore for me .
and now.. The feeling's strong..
...The summer gone.
The Canuck "No Money No Power" Engineer
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Up in the Air
"Do you have my seatbelt buckle?"
I turned around to the person on the aisle seat as I was just getting adjusted to the middle seat of my flight back to SoCal, with a quizzical look that said..huh
"My seatbelt buckle.. I think you're using mine"
Damn aisle seat lady, i murmured... After years of flying one airline, I had gotten used to enjoying a certain status.. which included amongst its many benefits.. the guarantee of an exit row aisle seat! But due to a mechanical delay, I had missed my connection, and on standby beggars can't be choosers.. and so here I was.. stuck in the middle seat .. struggling with my seatbelt.
"Oh.. I'll trade you".. as I handed over my buckle to her, and then proceeded to buckle myself in.
and then I dived right into my pre-flight ritual.. sending a last minute text message to say I'd boarded.. shutting down my phone.. and picking out some reading material for the takeoff, before the laptop would come out.
"So are you visiting SoCal, or are you heading home", continued the lady.
I now looked up. Every man always hopes to sit next to a pretty young girl on a plane, since that helps mitigate the mundaneness that is flying, but in all my flights, with my luck, I'm usually stuck next to a middle aged person, not interested in chatting, or a very very large gentleman who insists on spilling over into my part of the arm rest and beyond.
But today.. after I had two mechanical delays..a missed connection and a middle seat, I find myself seated next to a fine young lady! Had my aviation luck finally turned?
"Nah, SoCal is home.. I was visiting CanuckLand for work, and now I'm headed back"
"Oh what do you do for work?"
wow, easy on the eye AND eager to converse.
"I'm an engineer.. I am THE canuck engineer!"
"wow.. sounds exciting.. and impressive".
"Its neither, really! What do you do?", continued I. I was going to be cramped up in the middle seat for a while, so might as well while it out having a fun conversation... and it seemed that this lady was intrigued by yours truly.. I mean.. very rarely.. on the right occasion.. when the stars align...and the weather is just fine...and if the light hits me just right... I can be a fun companion!
"I'm a MatchMaker!"
...strike 3...this was gonna be a drag.
"Cool." I was done with this conversation already.
"No seriously, I am. So what about you? I see you're not married"
I could predict what was coming up next. A soft sell, maybe even a hard sell.
"I could be y'know. Are you flying on business"
"haha, no.. I'm visiting my mother.. she lives in SoCal... Me and my boyfriend are visiting her for the week".
..and the shotclock expires.
"yeah, I think he's going to propose to me this weekend".
"What makes you think that? Has he given you any hints?" enquired the canuck.
"No... i just feel it y'know... "
"are you going to say Yes, or will you make him sweat?"
"aww.. he's so sweet. I'll say yes.. but i'm not worried if it doesn't happen right now.. I know it'll happen"
"neat.. so quite the romantic, I take it?" I continued.
"Oh god no! I used to be the total emotionless package... I'd date anybody.. but I would never want to be in a relationship.. "
"quite the transformation huh!"
"no really, I just found that guys would smother me.. I wanted to take things at my pace.. but they'd always want more.. or go faster than what I wanted...".
hmmm
"..i remember this guy I was dating... and suddenly I felt it was going too fast... I felt...y'know.. smothered".
well i don't missy.. i just met you!
"So what did you do?"
"I just ended it... I've always broken up with my bf's... I just ended it.. and went away.. "
"clean as a bandaid?"
"Yeah, just like that. I just shut it down.. and then started dating someone else...I wanted it my way"
interesting..
"are you glad you did that?"
"well, in the past I was always happy with that.. but this time around, I just realized it was a mistake.. "
"Mistake? how's that?"
"Well, he was really nice to me.. and was very open with his emotions... something I always found really hard to do. I was always bottled up.. I kept these shields around me.. I didn't want to be vulnerable y'know.. I wanted to my thing. be an independent woman..and I felt being emotional sort of hindered that...so I just walked away...."
"... but then I realized... the thing I liked about him was just that.. the openness of emotions.. y'know.. like he was never too cool to show his feelings.. to show he was hurt.. or upset.. He never used his manliness to act aloof... and that kinda helped me realize.. maybe it was okay for me to give into my emotions too".
"so where's the mistake in here?"... This sounded like a movie, and the lady seemed to wanna take just as long to narrate her story!~
"Well, I left him.. dated someone else.. but then I realized what I really wanted was what I had with this guy... but I just wasn't ready at that time to move at the pace he wanted to".
cool... I interjected.. not that she really needed me to say anything here.
"and after a while, we got back in touch.. and by that time I had realized I was okay with being vulnerable.. I mean I had been working on fixing the other parts of my life.. and then when it came to realizing the emotion on my personal side... the person i wanted to do that with was not with me.. .cuz of me".
"so did you ask him out again?"
"hell no.. I'm a girl! we don't do that! but I did initiate the first conversation.. y'know sent him a feeler, see how he was doing.. dating someone or not.. I mean he's such a sweetheart, he always get a lot of attention, so I had to make sure he was single, before I let him know I was.."
"Damn women and games"
"noo.. I really wasn't playing games.. I was young.. I was just 3 years out of college.. It was a different time for me...and what was weird was that most guys get intimidated by me.. maybe cuz of my sense of humor.. I dunno."
yeah, NOT your sense of humor!
".. but he was never intimidated.. and he kept pace with me.. making me laugh... and being real.."
I smiled to myself.. here was a matchmaker, ostensibly trying to size me up as a potential client.. but instead had me going all Dr. Phil on her.
"So how long did you end up getting back with that guy then?"
"are you kidding, he's sitting right there in the exit row.. we've been together over 2 years now!!"
damn guy took my exit seat!! but good for that guy..
"so are you guys pretty secure with each other?"
"oh of course.. and I'm glad I gave him that call. He asked me to move in 3 months later.. and I told him.. hey.. take it easy.. we'll get there.. lets just deal with my pace, alright "
I chuckled.. she was verbose.. but she enjoyed telling her story alright!
"...btw, he's been talking to that girl a LONG time now... does he not realize I'm here and i can see him!!!"
"lol.. i thought you guys were secure!!"
"hey a little bit of jealousy isn't a bad thing y'know"
and then almost like on cue.. the guy turns around, interrupts our conversation, and shows her a pic of something on his cellphone...and she feigns a laugh. and he goes back.
"y'know.. he did that purely because I had been talking to you all this time!"
wow, I thought... I looked up at the light above my seat... wondering how exactly it was hitting my face.
I still got it!!
-Canuck "The Aviator" Engineer
I turned around to the person on the aisle seat as I was just getting adjusted to the middle seat of my flight back to SoCal, with a quizzical look that said..huh
"My seatbelt buckle.. I think you're using mine"
Damn aisle seat lady, i murmured... After years of flying one airline, I had gotten used to enjoying a certain status.. which included amongst its many benefits.. the guarantee of an exit row aisle seat! But due to a mechanical delay, I had missed my connection, and on standby beggars can't be choosers.. and so here I was.. stuck in the middle seat .. struggling with my seatbelt.
"Oh.. I'll trade you".. as I handed over my buckle to her, and then proceeded to buckle myself in.
and then I dived right into my pre-flight ritual.. sending a last minute text message to say I'd boarded.. shutting down my phone.. and picking out some reading material for the takeoff, before the laptop would come out.
"So are you visiting SoCal, or are you heading home", continued the lady.
I now looked up. Every man always hopes to sit next to a pretty young girl on a plane, since that helps mitigate the mundaneness that is flying, but in all my flights, with my luck, I'm usually stuck next to a middle aged person, not interested in chatting, or a very very large gentleman who insists on spilling over into my part of the arm rest and beyond.
But today.. after I had two mechanical delays..a missed connection and a middle seat, I find myself seated next to a fine young lady! Had my aviation luck finally turned?
"Nah, SoCal is home.. I was visiting CanuckLand for work, and now I'm headed back"
"Oh what do you do for work?"
wow, easy on the eye AND eager to converse.
"I'm an engineer.. I am THE canuck engineer!"
"wow.. sounds exciting.. and impressive".
"Its neither, really! What do you do?", continued I. I was going to be cramped up in the middle seat for a while, so might as well while it out having a fun conversation... and it seemed that this lady was intrigued by yours truly.. I mean.. very rarely.. on the right occasion.. when the stars align...and the weather is just fine...and if the light hits me just right... I can be a fun companion!
"I'm a MatchMaker!"
...strike 3...this was gonna be a drag.
"Cool." I was done with this conversation already.
"No seriously, I am. So what about you? I see you're not married"
I could predict what was coming up next. A soft sell, maybe even a hard sell.
"I could be y'know. Are you flying on business"
"haha, no.. I'm visiting my mother.. she lives in SoCal... Me and my boyfriend are visiting her for the week".
..and the shotclock expires.
"yeah, I think he's going to propose to me this weekend".
"What makes you think that? Has he given you any hints?" enquired the canuck.
"No... i just feel it y'know... "
"are you going to say Yes, or will you make him sweat?"
"aww.. he's so sweet. I'll say yes.. but i'm not worried if it doesn't happen right now.. I know it'll happen"
"neat.. so quite the romantic, I take it?" I continued.
"Oh god no! I used to be the total emotionless package... I'd date anybody.. but I would never want to be in a relationship.. "
"quite the transformation huh!"
"no really, I just found that guys would smother me.. I wanted to take things at my pace.. but they'd always want more.. or go faster than what I wanted...".
hmmm
"..i remember this guy I was dating... and suddenly I felt it was going too fast... I felt...y'know.. smothered".
well i don't missy.. i just met you!
"So what did you do?"
"I just ended it... I've always broken up with my bf's... I just ended it.. and went away.. "
"clean as a bandaid?"
"Yeah, just like that. I just shut it down.. and then started dating someone else...I wanted it my way"
interesting..
"are you glad you did that?"
"well, in the past I was always happy with that.. but this time around, I just realized it was a mistake.. "
"Mistake? how's that?"
"Well, he was really nice to me.. and was very open with his emotions... something I always found really hard to do. I was always bottled up.. I kept these shields around me.. I didn't want to be vulnerable y'know.. I wanted to my thing. be an independent woman..and I felt being emotional sort of hindered that...so I just walked away...."
"... but then I realized... the thing I liked about him was just that.. the openness of emotions.. y'know.. like he was never too cool to show his feelings.. to show he was hurt.. or upset.. He never used his manliness to act aloof... and that kinda helped me realize.. maybe it was okay for me to give into my emotions too".
"so where's the mistake in here?"... This sounded like a movie, and the lady seemed to wanna take just as long to narrate her story!~
"Well, I left him.. dated someone else.. but then I realized what I really wanted was what I had with this guy... but I just wasn't ready at that time to move at the pace he wanted to".
cool... I interjected.. not that she really needed me to say anything here.
"and after a while, we got back in touch.. and by that time I had realized I was okay with being vulnerable.. I mean I had been working on fixing the other parts of my life.. and then when it came to realizing the emotion on my personal side... the person i wanted to do that with was not with me.. .cuz of me".
"so did you ask him out again?"
"hell no.. I'm a girl! we don't do that! but I did initiate the first conversation.. y'know sent him a feeler, see how he was doing.. dating someone or not.. I mean he's such a sweetheart, he always get a lot of attention, so I had to make sure he was single, before I let him know I was.."
"Damn women and games"
"noo.. I really wasn't playing games.. I was young.. I was just 3 years out of college.. It was a different time for me...and what was weird was that most guys get intimidated by me.. maybe cuz of my sense of humor.. I dunno."
yeah, NOT your sense of humor!
".. but he was never intimidated.. and he kept pace with me.. making me laugh... and being real.."
I smiled to myself.. here was a matchmaker, ostensibly trying to size me up as a potential client.. but instead had me going all Dr. Phil on her.
"So how long did you end up getting back with that guy then?"
"are you kidding, he's sitting right there in the exit row.. we've been together over 2 years now!!"
damn guy took my exit seat!! but good for that guy..
"so are you guys pretty secure with each other?"
"oh of course.. and I'm glad I gave him that call. He asked me to move in 3 months later.. and I told him.. hey.. take it easy.. we'll get there.. lets just deal with my pace, alright "
I chuckled.. she was verbose.. but she enjoyed telling her story alright!
"...btw, he's been talking to that girl a LONG time now... does he not realize I'm here and i can see him!!!"
"lol.. i thought you guys were secure!!"
"hey a little bit of jealousy isn't a bad thing y'know"
and then almost like on cue.. the guy turns around, interrupts our conversation, and shows her a pic of something on his cellphone...and she feigns a laugh. and he goes back.
"y'know.. he did that purely because I had been talking to you all this time!"
wow, I thought... I looked up at the light above my seat... wondering how exactly it was hitting my face.
I still got it!!
-Canuck "The Aviator" Engineer
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
"OMG... You smell really good... What cologne is that".. exclaims the waitress as she chooses to lean onto our table to rest her tired legs and ask us about our next round of drinks..
"Jean-Paul Gaultier?..Am I right?" continued the damsel.
"Sorry", I said", "That's just my B.O. You should really smell me when I actually have cologne on.!"
"aww common.. Its Givenchy?.. gotta be Givenchy".
I shook my head with a smile...rather amused at how this conversation had evolved.
"Gucci? Are you sure its not Gaultier?"
I just shook my head.. with a bigger grin.. cuz the wheels were turning..
"Its actually just him." as I pointed to the guy seated across the table... my good ole buddy Junior..
"Yeah.. its really his smell on me that you find so fragrant", I said with my best matter-of-fact face.
"Oh.. That's cool".. she quipped, without skipping a beat.
"Yeah, Its my cologne you can smell on him.. He always ends up stealing my scent" said Junior, getting into the story..
"wow.. you guys really boyfriends? I just didn't picture that when you came in".
"Now what is that supposed to mean? Are you not supportive of our lifestyle choices?"
"No.. no no no.. I mean yes.. absolutely.. So how long have you been dating?"
"Well, I just met him today after nearly 10 years" This part was true.. We were middle school buddies who went to neighboring colleges and then Junior went up and left to the UK in our sophomore year and I didn't really see him since then...
"We never did go through the college experimentation phase.. So just trying to see if that spark is still there".
"Oh.. well.. great.. are you guys kidding?"
By this time, Junior was cracking up... so that gave the lady a chance to get up and collect herself.
"So, would you guys like another round of Rickards Red?" Rickards.. one of my favorite brews, found only in Canuckland.. which I was happy to be visiting after a while..
So she comes back a few minutes later with a pitcher...
"... and seriously though.. was it Gaultier or Givenchy?"
"I really don't remember"
"It has to be... .See, I know my men's colognes"...
and then pours us each a glass of Hefeweizen. "Enjoy your Rickards guys"
Colognes she might have known...The difference between Rickards and Heff... not so much.
But even that wheat pour couldn't affect the great evening I had catching up with an ole bud...."Jimmy quit.. Jodie got married.." y'know that kind of thing..
Guess we all enjoy talking about our Summers of '69! :)
-The Canuck "not that old yet" Engineer!
"Jean-Paul Gaultier?..Am I right?" continued the damsel.
"Sorry", I said", "That's just my B.O. You should really smell me when I actually have cologne on.!"
"aww common.. Its Givenchy?.. gotta be Givenchy".
I shook my head with a smile...rather amused at how this conversation had evolved.
"Gucci? Are you sure its not Gaultier?"
I just shook my head.. with a bigger grin.. cuz the wheels were turning..
"Its actually just him." as I pointed to the guy seated across the table... my good ole buddy Junior..
"Yeah.. its really his smell on me that you find so fragrant", I said with my best matter-of-fact face.
"Oh.. That's cool".. she quipped, without skipping a beat.
"Yeah, Its my cologne you can smell on him.. He always ends up stealing my scent" said Junior, getting into the story..
"wow.. you guys really boyfriends? I just didn't picture that when you came in".
"Now what is that supposed to mean? Are you not supportive of our lifestyle choices?"
"No.. no no no.. I mean yes.. absolutely.. So how long have you been dating?"
"Well, I just met him today after nearly 10 years" This part was true.. We were middle school buddies who went to neighboring colleges and then Junior went up and left to the UK in our sophomore year and I didn't really see him since then...
"We never did go through the college experimentation phase.. So just trying to see if that spark is still there".
"Oh.. well.. great.. are you guys kidding?"
By this time, Junior was cracking up... so that gave the lady a chance to get up and collect herself.
"So, would you guys like another round of Rickards Red?" Rickards.. one of my favorite brews, found only in Canuckland.. which I was happy to be visiting after a while..
So she comes back a few minutes later with a pitcher...
"... and seriously though.. was it Gaultier or Givenchy?"
"I really don't remember"
"It has to be... .See, I know my men's colognes"...
and then pours us each a glass of Hefeweizen. "Enjoy your Rickards guys"
Colognes she might have known...The difference between Rickards and Heff... not so much.
But even that wheat pour couldn't affect the great evening I had catching up with an ole bud...."Jimmy quit.. Jodie got married.." y'know that kind of thing..
Guess we all enjoy talking about our Summers of '69! :)
-The Canuck "not that old yet" Engineer!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Legacy
The hits just keep coming this year.
Maybe I'm just getting older and this is now a normal part of life.
But that makes it 4 people close to me...this year.... and now an icon.
On the day the world was grieving the loss of an icon, I lost a friend..
one who truly lived her life in a short 28 years ..
and helped me get through some difficult times in my own life.
But the one thing that always fascinated me about her was how she was able to get up after being knocked down..every single time... brush it off, and then continue reveling in life.... that short part of which I shared with her.
Sometimes you just have to take risks ... those who we consider having made it are those who took risks.. and put it all on the line.. for times when they felt it all in the gut.
Trust your gut and live your passion... said the man who single-handedly revolutionized how future generations will use consumer electronics..
On Instinct
"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."
Have faith.. and go with it... When you look back, you'll see the road not taken. and the path you did tread on...and if you happen to be one of those visionaries.. chances are . you took the path not oft taken.... and if you're lucky.. you'll change the world...and if you're not...You'll live happy.
oh everyone should be so unlucky!
But that's what greatness is... finding the simple things in this complex walk of life... one that is unfortunately fleetingly escapes us..
and being conscious and aware of this very mortality is likely the most important thing in living a life fulfilling for yourself and others.
On life
"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
Lose the baggage..no one cares.. it doesn't matter...
You leave exactly how you came... empty handed
When its all said and done.. would you rather beam at all you had achieved... or regret not doing things you could have done..
Everyone comes into the world screaming away in tears as they leave the womb... but its those rare few who leave this place smiling, laughing, cheerful.. and on their own terms.. those are the kings of their destiny
If you feel it in your gut.. you go for it...
You live... on your own terms..
No reason not to follow your heart..
It won't beat for ever..
-The Canuck Engineer
Maybe I'm just getting older and this is now a normal part of life.
But that makes it 4 people close to me...this year.... and now an icon.
On the day the world was grieving the loss of an icon, I lost a friend..
one who truly lived her life in a short 28 years ..
and helped me get through some difficult times in my own life.
But the one thing that always fascinated me about her was how she was able to get up after being knocked down..every single time... brush it off, and then continue reveling in life.... that short part of which I shared with her.
Sometimes you just have to take risks ... those who we consider having made it are those who took risks.. and put it all on the line.. for times when they felt it all in the gut.
Trust your gut and live your passion... said the man who single-handedly revolutionized how future generations will use consumer electronics..
On Instinct
"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."
Have faith.. and go with it... When you look back, you'll see the road not taken. and the path you did tread on...and if you happen to be one of those visionaries.. chances are . you took the path not oft taken.... and if you're lucky.. you'll change the world...and if you're not...You'll live happy.
oh everyone should be so unlucky!
But that's what greatness is... finding the simple things in this complex walk of life... one that is unfortunately fleetingly escapes us..
and being conscious and aware of this very mortality is likely the most important thing in living a life fulfilling for yourself and others.
On life
"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
Lose the baggage..no one cares.. it doesn't matter...
You leave exactly how you came... empty handed
When its all said and done.. would you rather beam at all you had achieved... or regret not doing things you could have done..
Everyone comes into the world screaming away in tears as they leave the womb... but its those rare few who leave this place smiling, laughing, cheerful.. and on their own terms.. those are the kings of their destiny
If you feel it in your gut.. you go for it...
You live... on your own terms..
No reason not to follow your heart..
It won't beat for ever..
-The Canuck Engineer
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Marley & Me
"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
-Bob Marley... Reggae SuperStar, and also, a philosopher!
-Bob Marley... Reggae SuperStar, and also, a philosopher!
Friday, September 30, 2011
Delicious and Refreshing!
I was busy...
she was there waiting for me
I had it all set up..
ready to celebrate..
but guess I just didn't pay attention to the timing
They said it was not a good match
but that's not what I learned on tv
and in all those magazines
They said, heck yeah, I enjoy her.
and I believed it..
But she wasn't ready..
then she got too cold.
Just could never time it right...
and so I just left her there
all by herself in the cold..
and by the time I figured I should check on her..
the fizz was gone.
Dear Bottle of Mexican Coke in my refrigerator
You deserved better..
Maybe next time?
-The Canuck Engineer
she was there waiting for me
I had it all set up..
ready to celebrate..
but guess I just didn't pay attention to the timing
They said it was not a good match
but that's not what I learned on tv
and in all those magazines
They said, heck yeah, I enjoy her.
and I believed it..
But she wasn't ready..
then she got too cold.
Just could never time it right...
and so I just left her there
all by herself in the cold..
and by the time I figured I should check on her..
the fizz was gone.
Dear Bottle of Mexican Coke in my refrigerator
You deserved better..
Maybe next time?
-The Canuck Engineer
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Las Vegas, New Jersey!
I check my mail.
ooh look at that.. an evite
"the debacheloring of Canuck's Friend"..
hmm.. a bachelor party.. sweet..
Wouldn't mind a trip to vegas.. its been a while.
not that I haven't been on trips lately..
but seems to be pretty damn swamped around these parts recently..
and the next couple of months don't promise much respite..
So this might be just what the doctor ordered in November.
well, lets be clear.. a weekend in vegas is quite possibly exactly the opposite of what doctors might order.. whether it be in November, or march.. or any other month..
but this is my buddy whose bachelor party has been a long time coming...
and the Canuck has never needed much of an excuse to head to vegas!
(bank accounts and credit card statements not withstanding!)
I tell my buddy, Mo.. who's got a few decades on me..
but might even be younger than me at heart.
"hey mo.. you going to Sam's BP?
OH hells yeah i am!
Mo continues.."y'know, i get invited to a ton of bachelor parties"..
..and then pauses, not sure if for effect. or if he's just lost his train of thought..
"... but i never get invited to the weddings".
I let out a mind-chuckle.... where I laugh out loud in my mind but say nothing..
and happens to be quite the opposite of keeping a poker face.. but saying "L O L".
which happens to be a peeve of mine.. one I share with the great Sir Larry David!
Mo muses... "not sure if the weddings get cancelled after the wild times we have at the BP.."
... "or cause I'm just persona-non-grata after what goes on in those times"
Oh.. well, we're going to Vegas.. and I'm getting excited for this.
I don't know if I always used to feel this way.. or if the excitement is mostly due to watching "The Hangover"... but I'm excited..
I continue reading the evite...
"So let us know if you're in for a round of Golf.. and after that we'll head to the Taj".
The TAJ? I didn't know there was a Taj in Vegas.. is this a new casino? a club?
I read the evite again..
"Atlantic City".
ATLANTIC CITY??
You want me to go NEW JERSEY for a party?
the sewage dump of the world... For a party?
are you effin kidding me??
I send out an email expressing my displeasure in no diplomatic terms to the Best man.
within minutes I get a response..
"I know how much we all wanted to go to vegas bro.. but a lot of the people are already in NYC, and so we figured AC was the obvious location.. . besides its pretty much the same thing"
Same thinG?
Are you kidding me?
you're saying atlantic city is the same thing as vegas?
If it was the same thing, it wouldn't be called Atlantic City..
It would be called "LAs Vegas"!!!
the same thing?
no its the not the same thing.
A donut without a hole is not a donut!
its a danish.
and i'll be damned if I got to a Danish bachelor party!!
oh wait.. Danish?? ie Denmark? i.e scandinavia?
hmmmm
hhmmmmm
Well, I wouldn't so much mind a Danish Party..
but it better be in vegas!!
And if I'm gonna go to Atlantic City..
Its gonna be under protest
and I will not participate in any of the adventures of the weekend.
Unless, they change it to Vegas.
Vegas Baby
Vegas
:D
-The Canuck "rainman" Engineer
ooh look at that.. an evite
"the debacheloring of Canuck's Friend"..
hmm.. a bachelor party.. sweet..
Wouldn't mind a trip to vegas.. its been a while.
not that I haven't been on trips lately..
but seems to be pretty damn swamped around these parts recently..
and the next couple of months don't promise much respite..
So this might be just what the doctor ordered in November.
well, lets be clear.. a weekend in vegas is quite possibly exactly the opposite of what doctors might order.. whether it be in November, or march.. or any other month..
but this is my buddy whose bachelor party has been a long time coming...
and the Canuck has never needed much of an excuse to head to vegas!
(bank accounts and credit card statements not withstanding!)
I tell my buddy, Mo.. who's got a few decades on me..
but might even be younger than me at heart.
"hey mo.. you going to Sam's BP?
OH hells yeah i am!
Mo continues.."y'know, i get invited to a ton of bachelor parties"..
..and then pauses, not sure if for effect. or if he's just lost his train of thought..
"... but i never get invited to the weddings".
I let out a mind-chuckle.... where I laugh out loud in my mind but say nothing..
and happens to be quite the opposite of keeping a poker face.. but saying "L O L".
which happens to be a peeve of mine.. one I share with the great Sir Larry David!
Mo muses... "not sure if the weddings get cancelled after the wild times we have at the BP.."
... "or cause I'm just persona-non-grata after what goes on in those times"
Oh.. well, we're going to Vegas.. and I'm getting excited for this.
I don't know if I always used to feel this way.. or if the excitement is mostly due to watching "The Hangover"... but I'm excited..
I continue reading the evite...
"So let us know if you're in for a round of Golf.. and after that we'll head to the Taj".
The TAJ? I didn't know there was a Taj in Vegas.. is this a new casino? a club?
I read the evite again..
"Atlantic City".
ATLANTIC CITY??
You want me to go NEW JERSEY for a party?
the sewage dump of the world... For a party?
are you effin kidding me??
I send out an email expressing my displeasure in no diplomatic terms to the Best man.
within minutes I get a response..
"I know how much we all wanted to go to vegas bro.. but a lot of the people are already in NYC, and so we figured AC was the obvious location.. . besides its pretty much the same thing"
Same thinG?
Are you kidding me?
you're saying atlantic city is the same thing as vegas?
If it was the same thing, it wouldn't be called Atlantic City..
It would be called "LAs Vegas"!!!
the same thing?
no its the not the same thing.
A donut without a hole is not a donut!
its a danish.
and i'll be damned if I got to a Danish bachelor party!!
oh wait.. Danish?? ie Denmark? i.e scandinavia?
hmmmm
hhmmmmm
Well, I wouldn't so much mind a Danish Party..
but it better be in vegas!!
And if I'm gonna go to Atlantic City..
Its gonna be under protest
and I will not participate in any of the adventures of the weekend.
Unless, they change it to Vegas.
Vegas Baby
Vegas
:D
-The Canuck "rainman" Engineer
Monday, September 26, 2011
Lazy Sunday!
After completing a packed Saturday that started at 5am.. and ended sometime in the wee hours on Sunday morning, I decided to reward myself with a lazy Sunday afternoon of watching Football... Sure its a luxury I may not have for long, so I figured I'd squeeze it in while I could... After all, the Chargers are looking good, the Patriots lost.. and I kept flipping over to watch the Yankees-Sox game go into extra innings...
But unfortunately my lazy Sunday didn't end up lasting long, since later in the evening I had to attend to a few other things, including writing and researching a paper... finally, after getting that done, I allowed myself to flip the channels and caught the "top 100 songs" from the past decade..
As the songs played in the background, while I continued hacking away at my keyboard, I kept thinking back to the times of each song. Its funny how every single #1 reminded me of an exciting summer in high school.. or a Halloween party .. really just bringing back memories associated with that time in my life..
Got me thinking.. You always tend to look into the past and reminisce about the good times you had.
Also, reminded me of the excitement I felt back then at the prospect of school, college, traveling abroad, or whatever have you.
and then i started wondering about the things that I might have done different, and how that might have changed the life I currently live.
What if I took a job in Canada, and never made it down to the states?
How about taking on that internship in Finland, and maybe settling in Scandinavia?
What if I'd gone to that Oktoberfest event in Germany, that all my friends went to?
Perhaps that wedding of my friend that I wanted to attend and never could?
You're always going to have thoughts about the past that make you feel good or not so great.
You always tend to ponder the future with feelings of excitement and anxiety intertwined.
Could I have done anything different?
Should I have done anything different?
I remember when I wanted to apply to college.. I made sure I did everything to position myself the best possible way for the interview..met the right people, said the right things.. even made an unsolicited visit to press my case.. even before I got the decision.
Was I more aggressive back then? Has age and.. ahem maturity.. made me softer?
I wanted to explore retail sales after college.. and I cold called' the crap out of the companies I wanted...even showed up to meet the GM of a dealership hours after I had faxed him my resume. I waited in the lobby until he gave me 10 minutes...and boy did I make those minutes count!
They wanted somebody.. I had to prove I was that somebody.
That's really what it all comes down to!
A house for sale wants somebody to be a buyer... You need to convince the seller you're that somebody.
A company with an opening wants an employee... You need to convince them you're that somebody.
Everything comes down to that.. filling that void.. filling that need..
SOMEBODY's gotta get it...why not that somebody be you?
But that's the thing... There IS a need. when you have that, you have a shot.
What about cases when there is no "need".. or "void".
There is no position to fill?
Or what if you want something.. but its just not available?
that's just bad timing..
Timing.. the most critical of things.. sometimes way beyond anything you can control.
if you want a job now.. and your dream company isn't hiring till next year.. what can you do?
What about those times you lowered your bet to the minimum, only to get a blackjack?
Remember when you bought a new stock? and the market tanked?
and then you sold at a loss.. and then the stock just exploded?
how about that timing..
You can walk away.. brush it off..
it just wasn't mean to be..
but what if it was something you really wanted?
It could be a stock,
it could be that house. .
it could be your career.
it could be "her"..
Well it could be a "him".. lets not forget.. Dont Ask Don't Tell did just get repealed!
So you walk away...?
nothing you coulda done?
give up.. go home?
It just "wasn't in the cards"?
I remember my best poker hand that I played..
I got a 2 pair on the flop... Winning hand that..
and then the turn brought about a pair on the board..
Somebody might have trips!
and then the Ace rivered.
What should I have done?
Smart strategy would be to fold..
I wasn't that invested..
but i looked around.. .I didn't see a lot of confidence...
and so I represented the full house..
and I played it like a full-house..
and then people started mucking..
and at the river...I bet strong.. and a guy with a higher 2 pair actually folded!
I won that hand..
the one that "wasn't in the cards"
and I don't even care about poker.. but i went for it.
Would I do that for something I really cared about?
What if the timing wasn't right?
Would I be willing to just walk away?
When it really matters.. what are you willing to do?
You can't fit a square peg in a round hole..
That is futile.. and also stupid.
If its a bad deal.. you walk away...
There's always another opportunity if you look hard enough..
But if it could fit..but the timing's off..
do you still let the situation get the better of you?
In some matters, you just can't force the issue..
So what do you do?
They say your legacy is defined by the decisions you make..
but it is equally impacted... by those you didn't make!
Everyone knows about "The Decision" courtesy Lebron.
He probably made the wrong one..
even if it was the correct one, he went about it the wrong way.
He was listening to the wrong people..
When faced with the "big" decisions...
you talk to those you care about
and sound out your thoughts..
and hear theirs..
Its probably why people have partners.
in firms..
in investments..
in relationships..
Unless of course that's the very decision you're faced with..
haha.. that's when you gotta listen to your gut..
and make your decision flying solo..
and as I type this... the "hit" being played on tv?
"My shadow's the only one that walks beside me..
...I walk alone"
Appropriate!
-The Canuck "Greenday" Engineer
But unfortunately my lazy Sunday didn't end up lasting long, since later in the evening I had to attend to a few other things, including writing and researching a paper... finally, after getting that done, I allowed myself to flip the channels and caught the "top 100 songs" from the past decade..
As the songs played in the background, while I continued hacking away at my keyboard, I kept thinking back to the times of each song. Its funny how every single #1 reminded me of an exciting summer in high school.. or a Halloween party .. really just bringing back memories associated with that time in my life..
Got me thinking.. You always tend to look into the past and reminisce about the good times you had.
Also, reminded me of the excitement I felt back then at the prospect of school, college, traveling abroad, or whatever have you.
and then i started wondering about the things that I might have done different, and how that might have changed the life I currently live.
What if I took a job in Canada, and never made it down to the states?
How about taking on that internship in Finland, and maybe settling in Scandinavia?
What if I'd gone to that Oktoberfest event in Germany, that all my friends went to?
Perhaps that wedding of my friend that I wanted to attend and never could?
You're always going to have thoughts about the past that make you feel good or not so great.
You always tend to ponder the future with feelings of excitement and anxiety intertwined.
Could I have done anything different?
Should I have done anything different?
I remember when I wanted to apply to college.. I made sure I did everything to position myself the best possible way for the interview..met the right people, said the right things.. even made an unsolicited visit to press my case.. even before I got the decision.
Was I more aggressive back then? Has age and.. ahem maturity.. made me softer?
I wanted to explore retail sales after college.. and I cold called' the crap out of the companies I wanted...even showed up to meet the GM of a dealership hours after I had faxed him my resume. I waited in the lobby until he gave me 10 minutes...and boy did I make those minutes count!
They wanted somebody.. I had to prove I was that somebody.
That's really what it all comes down to!
A house for sale wants somebody to be a buyer... You need to convince the seller you're that somebody.
A company with an opening wants an employee... You need to convince them you're that somebody.
Everything comes down to that.. filling that void.. filling that need..
SOMEBODY's gotta get it...why not that somebody be you?
But that's the thing... There IS a need. when you have that, you have a shot.
What about cases when there is no "need".. or "void".
There is no position to fill?
Or what if you want something.. but its just not available?
that's just bad timing..
Timing.. the most critical of things.. sometimes way beyond anything you can control.
if you want a job now.. and your dream company isn't hiring till next year.. what can you do?
What about those times you lowered your bet to the minimum, only to get a blackjack?
Remember when you bought a new stock? and the market tanked?
and then you sold at a loss.. and then the stock just exploded?
how about that timing..
You can walk away.. brush it off..
it just wasn't mean to be..
but what if it was something you really wanted?
It could be a stock,
it could be that house. .
it could be your career.
it could be "her"..
Well it could be a "him".. lets not forget.. Dont Ask Don't Tell did just get repealed!
So you walk away...?
nothing you coulda done?
give up.. go home?
It just "wasn't in the cards"?
I remember my best poker hand that I played..
I got a 2 pair on the flop... Winning hand that..
and then the turn brought about a pair on the board..
Somebody might have trips!
and then the Ace rivered.
What should I have done?
Smart strategy would be to fold..
I wasn't that invested..
but i looked around.. .I didn't see a lot of confidence...
and so I represented the full house..
and I played it like a full-house..
and then people started mucking..
and at the river...I bet strong.. and a guy with a higher 2 pair actually folded!
I won that hand..
the one that "wasn't in the cards"
and I don't even care about poker.. but i went for it.
Would I do that for something I really cared about?
What if the timing wasn't right?
Would I be willing to just walk away?
When it really matters.. what are you willing to do?
You can't fit a square peg in a round hole..
That is futile.. and also stupid.
If its a bad deal.. you walk away...
There's always another opportunity if you look hard enough..
But if it could fit..but the timing's off..
do you still let the situation get the better of you?
In some matters, you just can't force the issue..
So what do you do?
They say your legacy is defined by the decisions you make..
but it is equally impacted... by those you didn't make!
Everyone knows about "The Decision" courtesy Lebron.
He probably made the wrong one..
even if it was the correct one, he went about it the wrong way.
He was listening to the wrong people..
When faced with the "big" decisions...
you talk to those you care about
and sound out your thoughts..
and hear theirs..
Its probably why people have partners.
in firms..
in investments..
in relationships..
Unless of course that's the very decision you're faced with..
haha.. that's when you gotta listen to your gut..
and make your decision flying solo..
and as I type this... the "hit" being played on tv?
"My shadow's the only one that walks beside me..
...I walk alone"
Appropriate!
-The Canuck "Greenday" Engineer
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Bells and whistles
Remember when the summer vacation would end.. and you'd dread the first day of school..
and you'd make every possible excuse to avoid going to class.
and convince yourself you were too sick to go to school...
so much so that you'd feign sickness until you actually fell sick..
and contracted a light fever..
or a cold.. or a cough..
really just anything to extend the vacation by one more day?
Some things never really change..
You plan to go to bed on time the night before..
and yet fail miserably to do that..
and then ignore your cell phone alarm till the battery dies.
and try to catch those precious few minutes of shut eye..
But try as you might.. you'd always wake up to a phone call..
that reminded you to wake up..
cuz its time to get up!
But then that phone never does ring
and you never get that wake up call.
and you sleep in that extra 10 minutes
and then look at the clock..
and realize you no longer have time to "prep" for class..
and so you tuck yourself in the covers even deeper
delaying the inevitable..
and then your alarm clock starts beeping...
and then starts chirping...
and then you detect a sound on your night stand..
followed by a thud..
all the while accompanied by the loudest beeping you've ever heard..
and you wave your arms frnatically...
reaching for your alarm clock on your nightstand..
hoping agianst hope for it to shut up..
but it doesnt..
cuz now the sound emanates from outside your room..
and it just won't stop..
and then you finally get out of bed in a huff..
and chase down your damn alarm clock into hte living room..
as it tries its best to evade you..
and you finally pick it up and shut it down..
but by then you're out of bed..
and you're up
and you see the time..
and you realize.. ITS TIME...
and then you just accept that you're now up to start your coveted (dreaded) Saturday morning.
and then you groom yourself...
from a scrub into a presentable student ready to get his learn on..
and frantically leave the house.. to get to your car..
and as you're about to lock your door...
you look back in..
and see the alarm clock now on the living room counter..
and let out a wry smile..
Thank you Clocky.... you done did it again
-The Canuck Engineer
and you'd make every possible excuse to avoid going to class.
and convince yourself you were too sick to go to school...
so much so that you'd feign sickness until you actually fell sick..
and contracted a light fever..
or a cold.. or a cough..
really just anything to extend the vacation by one more day?
Some things never really change..
You plan to go to bed on time the night before..
and yet fail miserably to do that..
and then ignore your cell phone alarm till the battery dies.
and try to catch those precious few minutes of shut eye..
But try as you might.. you'd always wake up to a phone call..
that reminded you to wake up..
cuz its time to get up!
But then that phone never does ring
and you never get that wake up call.
and you sleep in that extra 10 minutes
and then look at the clock..
and realize you no longer have time to "prep" for class..
and so you tuck yourself in the covers even deeper
delaying the inevitable..
and then your alarm clock starts beeping...
and then starts chirping...
and then you detect a sound on your night stand..
followed by a thud..
all the while accompanied by the loudest beeping you've ever heard..
and you wave your arms frnatically...
reaching for your alarm clock on your nightstand..
hoping agianst hope for it to shut up..
but it doesnt..
cuz now the sound emanates from outside your room..
and it just won't stop..
and then you finally get out of bed in a huff..
and chase down your damn alarm clock into hte living room..
as it tries its best to evade you..
and you finally pick it up and shut it down..
but by then you're out of bed..
and you're up
and you see the time..
and you realize.. ITS TIME...
and then you just accept that you're now up to start your coveted (dreaded) Saturday morning.
and then you groom yourself...
from a scrub into a presentable student ready to get his learn on..
and frantically leave the house.. to get to your car..
and as you're about to lock your door...
you look back in..
and see the alarm clock now on the living room counter..
and let out a wry smile..
Thank you Clocky.... you done did it again
-The Canuck Engineer
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Manly Decisions!
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then he married the one with the biggest boobs.
-The Manly Canuck Engineer
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then he married the one with the biggest boobs.
-The Manly Canuck Engineer
Monday, September 19, 2011
Band Camp
I wish I played a musical instrument.
I never had a ear for music.. or a voice.... or a face or a body.. but i guess that's getting beyond this.
Growing up, we all had to take the mandatory music/band class... so I kinda sorta played an instrument.. but never really learned anything.
I wasn't gonna be a master at anything that I had to blow into.... so the flute was out right there...and I'd seen enough videos of the tuba guy in the band getting all kinds of things stuffed into the other end.. so that was out too!
I wanted to play the piano. .that was kinda grandiose.. but figured i'd never have the hand-leg coordination to deal with the pedals etc...and besides playing with two hands.. If I don't need two hands to drive, why should I use two for music... so there went the Piano.
I did like the idea of the keyboard.. so I spent a few months practicing that in school. But of course, practicing in school on the school keyboard wasn't cool. so i had to get mine. so I could bring that to school, and high-step my mad finger skills... (no no... we're still talking about music here... and no..we're ONLY talking about accoustic music.. no metaphors for making music.. get outtta here you gutterminds!)...
So i convinced my folks to get me a yamaha keyboard. It wasn't easy, cuz they knew I switched my choice of musical instruments faster than Liz Taylor changed husbands.. (yeah, I could've with a lady gaga reference, but its key that I highlight the fact that I grew up at a time when liz taylor still mattered.. actually she didn't, i ain't that old.. but it gives me some kind of pervasive pleasure to make myself older than I am... perhaps its my way of convincing myself of my awesome maturation processs...one that grey hairs will never provide!.. not that i have any .... and yes Denial is not just a river in Africa... get it? get it.. rimshot! i'm here all week).
Anyways, I finally got myself my badass Yamaha keyboard.. took it to class to demo the canuck rendition of what I considered a classic : the Top Gun theme... and the fact that It had taken me a whole two weeks to learn a theme song that was even easier than Chopsticks on the piano didn't faze me one bit.. >Then again, it took me a LONG time to figure out chopsticks for real.
I used to love ramen noodles as a 7 year old.. and would insist on eating them with a fork, including the soup... Never did do the math on that one.. and my fork never really scooped that much soup in the first place, but since when did logic ever get equated with anything the Canuck Engineer ever did.. .haha yeah, it might surprise those who know the Canuck now, that I wasn't always this brilliant.. thank you thank you! and one fine day, my neighbors.. two sisters, one of whom I hated, and the other who I was particularly fond off, invited me over for some Ramen... and as I took on a fork and prepared to embark on an expedition of culinary delight, they said.. "fork".. how bout chopsticks? and I gave them a look that said "Do I look like a graduate from the 36th Temple of Shaolin arts"? cuz I had only ever seen those guys rock chopsticks with Ramen... but no.. they insisted that I try out some Ramen-chopsticks style...and after 2 weeks of practice.. and about 10 bowls of Ramen later, I was a ChopMaster!
Anyways.,. the day I went to demo my Keyboard skills, this other guy decided to demo his rendition of Hotel California.. yeah.. in Grade 3!! Hotel California.. while I was just getting ready to spit some top Gun toons! and that's when I decided the keyboard was lame..
and never played it again...
and the Yamaha spent many years in our house.. acting as a wonderful display item, sometimes confused for a clothes rack..
But then many a time, especially in college and beyond, I felt it would've been nice if I'd learned to play the Guitar..y'know.. a COOL instrument... and then I saw Bill Clinton rock the Sax... and i figured.. if the President of the United States can blow into a tube.. then it shouldn't be beneath... but unfortunately I never got my shot at music..
until Guitar Hero.. and Rock band!
and then's when I discovered.. i sucked at the guitar..
well, i wasn't absolutely brutal, but it held no interest to me whatsoever..
yeah, in my head, i could picture being a Rock Band lead guitarist with chicks swooning all over me...but still.. no guitar for me..
but I did discover the drums! and I loved it..
and i took to it like fish take to alcohol.... or is it water? well, it goes "drink like a fish".. so it probably means alcohol.. so yeah.. I took to the RockBand drums like a fish takes to alcohol.. lets say a Mojito..... and I really enjoyed it...
and i got really good at it.. unlocking all those new levels.. and suddenly discovered a hitherto unknown hand-foot miscoordination that would make driving look like rocket science.. but i still enjoyed it..
and wondered.. what If I'd tried to learn the drums early on....hmm.. who knows!
why this sudden interest in music again?
Well.. partially, because I always wanted to write this on my facebook status:
"my neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning. can you believe that?! 2:30am! luckily for him I was still up playing my drums !"
Haha. but really, its basically that, after a weekend of watching a lot of Shawshank redemption... the quote that rings out the loudest to me is Andy saying
"You need (music) so you don't forget....That there are places in the world that aren't made out of stone. That there's... there's somethin' inside that they can't get to; that they can't touch. It's yours."
What are you talkin' about?
Hope.
and Red, displaying the cynicism that's so typical in today's world...the one where people are so afraid of failure.. and its repercussions. that they won't dare dream..
" Hope? Let me tell you something, my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane. It's got no use on the inside. You'd better get used to that idea."
Nah....That's not an idea I could ever get used to...
which is probably why I think I would have enjoyed playing the drums..
not just so I could give myself the customary "rimshot" after each one of my zingers!!
(well, they can't all be winners!)
but so I could bang on the rawhide..and remind myself.... there be hope in them these sounds..and that's the beauty of music... no body can turn that off!!
Too bad I didn't get a chance to be the next Hendrix or Slash...oh well, So I couldn't be a Star.. but I could still always be the next Ringo Starr ! (Rim shot.. another advantage of playing the drums!)
Because as Andy says...
"Remember, Red. Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.."
-The Canuck Engineer
I never had a ear for music.. or a voice.... or a face or a body.. but i guess that's getting beyond this.
Growing up, we all had to take the mandatory music/band class... so I kinda sorta played an instrument.. but never really learned anything.
I wasn't gonna be a master at anything that I had to blow into.... so the flute was out right there...and I'd seen enough videos of the tuba guy in the band getting all kinds of things stuffed into the other end.. so that was out too!
I wanted to play the piano. .that was kinda grandiose.. but figured i'd never have the hand-leg coordination to deal with the pedals etc...and besides playing with two hands.. If I don't need two hands to drive, why should I use two for music... so there went the Piano.
I did like the idea of the keyboard.. so I spent a few months practicing that in school. But of course, practicing in school on the school keyboard wasn't cool. so i had to get mine. so I could bring that to school, and high-step my mad finger skills... (no no... we're still talking about music here... and no..we're ONLY talking about accoustic music.. no metaphors for making music.. get outtta here you gutterminds!)...
So i convinced my folks to get me a yamaha keyboard. It wasn't easy, cuz they knew I switched my choice of musical instruments faster than Liz Taylor changed husbands.. (yeah, I could've with a lady gaga reference, but its key that I highlight the fact that I grew up at a time when liz taylor still mattered.. actually she didn't, i ain't that old.. but it gives me some kind of pervasive pleasure to make myself older than I am... perhaps its my way of convincing myself of my awesome maturation processs...one that grey hairs will never provide!.. not that i have any .... and yes Denial is not just a river in Africa... get it? get it.. rimshot! i'm here all week).
Anyways, I finally got myself my badass Yamaha keyboard.. took it to class to demo the canuck rendition of what I considered a classic : the Top Gun theme... and the fact that It had taken me a whole two weeks to learn a theme song that was even easier than Chopsticks on the piano didn't faze me one bit.. >Then again, it took me a LONG time to figure out chopsticks for real.
I used to love ramen noodles as a 7 year old.. and would insist on eating them with a fork, including the soup... Never did do the math on that one.. and my fork never really scooped that much soup in the first place, but since when did logic ever get equated with anything the Canuck Engineer ever did.. .haha yeah, it might surprise those who know the Canuck now, that I wasn't always this brilliant.. thank you thank you! and one fine day, my neighbors.. two sisters, one of whom I hated, and the other who I was particularly fond off, invited me over for some Ramen... and as I took on a fork and prepared to embark on an expedition of culinary delight, they said.. "fork".. how bout chopsticks? and I gave them a look that said "Do I look like a graduate from the 36th Temple of Shaolin arts"? cuz I had only ever seen those guys rock chopsticks with Ramen... but no.. they insisted that I try out some Ramen-chopsticks style...and after 2 weeks of practice.. and about 10 bowls of Ramen later, I was a ChopMaster!
Anyways.,. the day I went to demo my Keyboard skills, this other guy decided to demo his rendition of Hotel California.. yeah.. in Grade 3!! Hotel California.. while I was just getting ready to spit some top Gun toons! and that's when I decided the keyboard was lame..
and never played it again...
and the Yamaha spent many years in our house.. acting as a wonderful display item, sometimes confused for a clothes rack..
But then many a time, especially in college and beyond, I felt it would've been nice if I'd learned to play the Guitar..y'know.. a COOL instrument... and then I saw Bill Clinton rock the Sax... and i figured.. if the President of the United States can blow into a tube.. then it shouldn't be beneath... but unfortunately I never got my shot at music..
until Guitar Hero.. and Rock band!
and then's when I discovered.. i sucked at the guitar..
well, i wasn't absolutely brutal, but it held no interest to me whatsoever..
yeah, in my head, i could picture being a Rock Band lead guitarist with chicks swooning all over me...but still.. no guitar for me..
but I did discover the drums! and I loved it..
and i took to it like fish take to alcohol.... or is it water? well, it goes "drink like a fish".. so it probably means alcohol.. so yeah.. I took to the RockBand drums like a fish takes to alcohol.. lets say a Mojito..... and I really enjoyed it...
and i got really good at it.. unlocking all those new levels.. and suddenly discovered a hitherto unknown hand-foot miscoordination that would make driving look like rocket science.. but i still enjoyed it..
and wondered.. what If I'd tried to learn the drums early on....hmm.. who knows!
why this sudden interest in music again?
Well.. partially, because I always wanted to write this on my facebook status:
"my neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning. can you believe that?! 2:
Haha. but really, its basically that, after a weekend of watching a lot of Shawshank redemption... the quote that rings out the loudest to me is Andy saying
"You need (music) so you don't forget....That there are places in the world that aren't made out of stone. That there's... there's somethin' inside that they can't get to; that they can't touch. It's yours."
What are you talkin' about?
Hope.
and Red, displaying the cynicism that's so typical in today's world...the one where people are so afraid of failure.. and its repercussions. that they won't dare dream..
" Hope? Let me tell you something, my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane. It's got no use on the inside. You'd better get used to that idea."
Nah....That's not an idea I could ever get used to...
which is probably why I think I would have enjoyed playing the drums..
not just so I could give myself the customary "rimshot" after each one of my zingers!!
(well, they can't all be winners!)
but so I could bang on the rawhide..and remind myself.... there be hope in them these sounds..and that's the beauty of music... no body can turn that off!!
Too bad I didn't get a chance to be the next Hendrix or Slash...oh well, So I couldn't be a Star.. but I could still always be the next Ringo Starr ! (Rim shot.. another advantage of playing the drums!)
Because as Andy says...
"Remember, Red. Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.."
-The Canuck Engineer
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Great Expectations
Great expectations
they say its good to go through life without expecting anything from anyone..
Do what you gotta do, and if you get something more than what's your due, then consider it a bonus
Its one way to live life.. Its what all the grown up wisdom is all about.
Do what you're meant to do, thats your duty.. and fear not about the results.
That's one way to look at it..
As a young kid, I would wake up on Christmas morning,
with all kinds of goodies under my pillow and around my bed.
It was awesome, cuz it was unexpected..a bonus
Then I began to equate the concept of Santa with gifts.
and as December came rolling, I would get the countdown to Christmas eve started
As far removed from anything Christian as I was, Christmas eve was what I waited for.
and there is nothing bigger for a 5 year old, than the prospect of "santa" coming in at night
and stuffing your stockings with everything you wanted... or hoped for.
I mean a 5 year old doesn't want much..
but as december approached... I would clean up my act..
and stay clean.. and go to bed on time.. and wake up on time..
and make my bed. and clean up after myself.
so that Santa got the note.. that I was a "nice" kid.
and every day.. i would wait.. for december 24th
and the anticipation would build
and i would always wonder.. what will i wake up to Christmas morning..
Would I get a GI Joe?.... Would I get a transformer? Something from the Master of Universe?
A mattel toy car? I had been good for 2 months after all...surely that was worth a ferrari.
and my expectations would grow.. and I would wonder..
and every night.. the anticipation would make it all the more exciting..
and I would dream... of what it would be like.. on Christmas morning.
and I would wake up smiling.. and cross another day off the calender..
If someone told me then.. have no expectations for Christmas, I would look at them appalled
My world would have been shattered.
What's wrong with having expectations?
At worst, I wouldn't get what I wanted..
but atleast I got to dream..
and is that not worth it all at the end?
So what if I got a box of chocolates at the end of it all..
and no Gi Joes...
Atleast I got a box of chocolates, didn't I?
It was so simple back then...
We're all born perfect...
and then we learn about the world..
and the thought of disappointment...
and get so scared at the very prospect...
that we don't even dare to dream.
I wanna be that 5 year old kid again...
and yeah.. have all the expectations I want...
and sometimes I'll get what I hope is coming to me..
and other times.. I'll fall.
Well, falling down is part of life..
Getting up is living..
Time is swift, it races by;
Opportunities are born and die...
Still you wait and will not try -
A bird with wings who dares not rise and fly.
As R. Kelly so simplistically put it... I believe I can fly..
Come fly with ...
-The Canuck Engineer
they say its good to go through life without expecting anything from anyone..
Do what you gotta do, and if you get something more than what's your due, then consider it a bonus
Its one way to live life.. Its what all the grown up wisdom is all about.
Do what you're meant to do, thats your duty.. and fear not about the results.
That's one way to look at it..
As a young kid, I would wake up on Christmas morning,
with all kinds of goodies under my pillow and around my bed.
It was awesome, cuz it was unexpected..a bonus
Then I began to equate the concept of Santa with gifts.
and as December came rolling, I would get the countdown to Christmas eve started
As far removed from anything Christian as I was, Christmas eve was what I waited for.
and there is nothing bigger for a 5 year old, than the prospect of "santa" coming in at night
and stuffing your stockings with everything you wanted... or hoped for.
I mean a 5 year old doesn't want much..
but as december approached... I would clean up my act..
and stay clean.. and go to bed on time.. and wake up on time..
and make my bed. and clean up after myself.
so that Santa got the note.. that I was a "nice" kid.
and every day.. i would wait.. for december 24th
and the anticipation would build
and i would always wonder.. what will i wake up to Christmas morning..
Would I get a GI Joe?.... Would I get a transformer? Something from the Master of Universe?
A mattel toy car? I had been good for 2 months after all...surely that was worth a ferrari.
and my expectations would grow.. and I would wonder..
and every night.. the anticipation would make it all the more exciting..
and I would dream... of what it would be like.. on Christmas morning.
and I would wake up smiling.. and cross another day off the calender..
If someone told me then.. have no expectations for Christmas, I would look at them appalled
My world would have been shattered.
What's wrong with having expectations?
At worst, I wouldn't get what I wanted..
but atleast I got to dream..
and is that not worth it all at the end?
So what if I got a box of chocolates at the end of it all..
and no Gi Joes...
Atleast I got a box of chocolates, didn't I?
It was so simple back then...
We're all born perfect...
and then we learn about the world..
and the thought of disappointment...
and get so scared at the very prospect...
that we don't even dare to dream.
I wanna be that 5 year old kid again...
and yeah.. have all the expectations I want...
and sometimes I'll get what I hope is coming to me..
and other times.. I'll fall.
Well, falling down is part of life..
Getting up is living..
Time is swift, it races by;
Opportunities are born and die...
Still you wait and will not try -
A bird with wings who dares not rise and fly.
As R. Kelly so simplistically put it... I believe I can fly..
Come fly with ...
-The Canuck Engineer
Monday, August 15, 2011
Of Mail and Men!
I get a lot of mail .. every day.
snail mail.. that's right.. the kind the mailman delivers... yep.. in your mailbox.. no not inbox.. Mailbox..
I always looked forward to getting the mail. I would go visit our mailbox multiple times a day.
We never had one of those mailboxes where you put the flag up when you received mail.
One summer, I even put up a fake "flag" on our brick&mortal column mail-slot..
confused all of our neighbors..
and our mailman..
and the Republicans.
Back then, the mail I would get would be "Free Birthday" invitations to restaurants...
or "Free Juniors Ice Cream Night" vouchers.
That was exciting.
Then when I was applying to college.. I'd wait for the admits in the mail...
There was no email updates then.. it was all mail... all excitement!I
I never realized the difference in excitement between small envelopes and large envelopes back then.
In fact, it wasn't until recently that it was even brought to my attention.
Big Envelopes:: Welcome... To American Express... to Delta Airlines.. to Mushi Sushi House.. All good news
Small Envelopes: Bills... rent increases.. Late fee.... Changes to Rules...Eviction Notice.. Parking tickets.. DMV renewalss.. Credit Card Declines... Sigh...
and then there's those medium-sized Envelopes.
and I get a fair number of those.
Sometimes from the Veterans' services.. sometimes from Research Hospitals.. other times from Non-profits..
Sometimes those envelopes are thicker than usual...
and I get a notepad..
or a bunch of address stickers..
or fridge magnets..
always accompanied by a note:
"Can we count on your support?"
Support..
...The marketing that made the JockStrap industry go "nuts"
...What my back looks forward to when I sit in my friends Beemer!
...What my belt does to my pants....and what the belt loops do to my belt :)
Support..
It could mean so many things..
It could mean a particular thing..
It could mean cheering on the troops as they defend the nation..
It could mean getting kicked out of the ballpark as you cheer on your sports team :)
It could just mean a pat on your nephew's back as he gets on a bike for the first time..
It could just mean offering no judgement when your friend finally comes out.
It could mean driving a hundred miles to watch them perform..
It could mean being vehement in their defense..
it could mean being vociferous in your enthusiasm..
It could mean offering your ear.. and letting them vent..
It could just mean answering the phone.. whenever it rings..
really what it means...
If they had to lean on you... would you lend your shoulder?
or it could just be the latest ad gimmick for Victoria's Secret Fall Collection!
The Canuck "WonderSupport" Engineer
snail mail.. that's right.. the kind the mailman delivers... yep.. in your mailbox.. no not inbox.. Mailbox..
I always looked forward to getting the mail. I would go visit our mailbox multiple times a day.
We never had one of those mailboxes where you put the flag up when you received mail.
One summer, I even put up a fake "flag" on our brick&mortal column mail-slot..
confused all of our neighbors..
and our mailman..
and the Republicans.
Back then, the mail I would get would be "Free Birthday" invitations to restaurants...
or "Free Juniors Ice Cream Night" vouchers.
That was exciting.
Then when I was applying to college.. I'd wait for the admits in the mail...
There was no email updates then.. it was all mail... all excitement!I
I never realized the difference in excitement between small envelopes and large envelopes back then.
In fact, it wasn't until recently that it was even brought to my attention.
Big Envelopes:: Welcome... To American Express... to Delta Airlines.. to Mushi Sushi House.. All good news
Small Envelopes: Bills... rent increases.. Late fee.... Changes to Rules...Eviction Notice.. Parking tickets.. DMV renewalss.. Credit Card Declines... Sigh...
and then there's those medium-sized Envelopes.
and I get a fair number of those.
Sometimes from the Veterans' services.. sometimes from Research Hospitals.. other times from Non-profits..
Sometimes those envelopes are thicker than usual...
and I get a notepad..
or a bunch of address stickers..
or fridge magnets..
always accompanied by a note:
"Can we count on your support?"
Support..
...The marketing that made the JockStrap industry go "nuts"
...What my back looks forward to when I sit in my friends Beemer!
...What my belt does to my pants....and what the belt loops do to my belt :)
Support..
It could mean so many things..
It could mean a particular thing..
It could mean cheering on the troops as they defend the nation..
It could mean getting kicked out of the ballpark as you cheer on your sports team :)
It could just mean a pat on your nephew's back as he gets on a bike for the first time..
It could just mean offering no judgement when your friend finally comes out.
It could mean driving a hundred miles to watch them perform..
It could mean being vehement in their defense..
it could mean being vociferous in your enthusiasm..
It could mean offering your ear.. and letting them vent..
It could just mean answering the phone.. whenever it rings..
really what it means...
If they had to lean on you... would you lend your shoulder?
or it could just be the latest ad gimmick for Victoria's Secret Fall Collection!
The Canuck "WonderSupport" Engineer
Thursday, June 9, 2011
"Getting Feeled Up"
What you value is what you miss, and not what you have.
but what if you miss what you do have...
is it just that you didn't know you really had it... or is it that you didn't ever really have it?
Until I turned 18, I played some sport or the other pretty much every day of my life.... yeah, i played sports as a baby.. I practiced tasting my toes every day of my first year!
I loved "play-time".. .every single day from 5-7, I'd go shoot hoops, hit balls, stop pucks or chase frisbees or whatever the sport of the season was.
It was my most cherished part of the day (that, and 7pm on ice cream nights, but that's a separate story)..
and my mom knew that.
which is why if i ever really misbehaved, I was grounded.. from 5-7...
That was enough..
I'd squirm and wince, and display symptoms that would make the Chinese Water Torture look like eating candy floss!
I knew what I had.. and how I'd lost it.. and I missed it.
and now that I'm "all grow'd up", I miss the times when i could just go for a couple of hours and play.
What does a person really miss? You miss what you once had.. and crave what you perhaps never did.
But does that mean you don't really value what you have?
I don't think so.
They say cherish what you have, because you dont really know what you have until its gone.
Well, I'm reminded of that every single Sunday morning when I wakeup with a splitting headache.. and wonder... "where did my hangover recovery abilities go"
and everytime I have a burrito, and almost instantly my pants get tighter.. and i wonder..
"where did my metabolism go"..
and so i've taught myself to appreciate all the good things that I might be fortunate to have had or will have... because you never know when they will go away.
The sight of water in Southern California... the cool breeze of summer.... the beginning of baseball season...
these are all things that make me happy.. and then just as soon, they go away..
and every now and then i wonder... what would it take to have something that makes me happy..for keeps...
maybe like being part of something that is not as fleeting as the seasonal sights... something that last longer than a wave on the beach...
it could be a lifelong profession that you wake up excited every morning for
it could be a lasting friendship that you go to bed every night ecstatic about
it could be something material... it could be something abstract..
it could be a memory... it could be a lot of memories...
It could be all of the above...it could be none of the above
its just a feeling..
..
one that equips you to handle the curveballs of life... cuz you know..you got that feeling..
and regardless of how long or shortlived that feeling is.. you just have to believe, that it'll be forever..
but even if it doesn't, did you at least remember to live through it believing that it would?
Maybe its just the optimist in me...
When you look back at your life, you choose to remember the vivid moments...and memories..
and a lot of times its the smaller things in life that give you that feeling... because they remind you of what you really value.. and cherish..
and I love that feeling..
The feeling I get...when I see my runaway alarm clock, much to the chagrin of my stubbed toes
The feeling I get...when I see a dried up fern, preserved ever so beautifully
The feeling I get...when I see that spiral shaped, syrup soaked orange colored delicacy ...
ahh.. when i get that feeling....
-Canuck "Marvin Gaye" Engineer
but what if you miss what you do have...
is it just that you didn't know you really had it... or is it that you didn't ever really have it?
Until I turned 18, I played some sport or the other pretty much every day of my life.... yeah, i played sports as a baby.. I practiced tasting my toes every day of my first year!
I loved "play-time".. .every single day from 5-7, I'd go shoot hoops, hit balls, stop pucks or chase frisbees or whatever the sport of the season was.
It was my most cherished part of the day (that, and 7pm on ice cream nights, but that's a separate story)..
and my mom knew that.
which is why if i ever really misbehaved, I was grounded.. from 5-7...
That was enough..
I'd squirm and wince, and display symptoms that would make the Chinese Water Torture look like eating candy floss!
I knew what I had.. and how I'd lost it.. and I missed it.
and now that I'm "all grow'd up", I miss the times when i could just go for a couple of hours and play.
What does a person really miss? You miss what you once had.. and crave what you perhaps never did.
But does that mean you don't really value what you have?
I don't think so.
They say cherish what you have, because you dont really know what you have until its gone.
Well, I'm reminded of that every single Sunday morning when I wakeup with a splitting headache.. and wonder... "where did my hangover recovery abilities go"
and everytime I have a burrito, and almost instantly my pants get tighter.. and i wonder..
"where did my metabolism go"..
and so i've taught myself to appreciate all the good things that I might be fortunate to have had or will have... because you never know when they will go away.
The sight of water in Southern California... the cool breeze of summer.... the beginning of baseball season...
these are all things that make me happy.. and then just as soon, they go away..
and every now and then i wonder... what would it take to have something that makes me happy..for keeps...
maybe like being part of something that is not as fleeting as the seasonal sights... something that last longer than a wave on the beach...
it could be a lifelong profession that you wake up excited every morning for
it could be a lasting friendship that you go to bed every night ecstatic about
it could be something material... it could be something abstract..
it could be a memory... it could be a lot of memories...
It could be all of the above...it could be none of the above
its just a feeling..
..
one that equips you to handle the curveballs of life... cuz you know..you got that feeling..
and regardless of how long or shortlived that feeling is.. you just have to believe, that it'll be forever..
but even if it doesn't, did you at least remember to live through it believing that it would?
Maybe its just the optimist in me...
When you look back at your life, you choose to remember the vivid moments...and memories..
and a lot of times its the smaller things in life that give you that feeling... because they remind you of what you really value.. and cherish..
and I love that feeling..
The feeling I get...when I see my runaway alarm clock, much to the chagrin of my stubbed toes
The feeling I get...when I see a dried up fern, preserved ever so beautifully
The feeling I get...when I see that spiral shaped, syrup soaked orange colored delicacy ...
ahh.. when i get that feeling....
-Canuck "Marvin Gaye" Engineer
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Influence!
"Excuse me, Sir, but did you just park there?" bellowed the cop running towards me with a flashlight.
What's the world come down to! Cops on a Saturday Night have nothing better to than to play meter maid?
I did a double take, my recent relationship with Southern Californian Parking Authorities was getting a bit too close for comfort, and lately, a lot of their wining and dining musta been courtesy the Canuck Engineer!.
"Yes, Officer, I sure did", convinced I'd parked within the allocated lines, AND when the meter was off. This guy had no shot of giving me a parking ticket, that's fer sure!
"Where are you coming from?
"uhh... a bar, where I just had me some delicious wings, and I thought I'd bring some back for my friends in this building." I felt like Lady Gaga's latest wardrobe malfunction... Nothing to hide!
"Oh where's my manners, Care for some buffalo hot, officer?" I offered the cop, my Canadian up bringing kicking in.
"Sir, have you been drinking?"
Well, I did come from a bar.. Do cops do this on purpose? I JUST CAME FROM A BAR!
"Yeah, I had a drink!" I proclaimed emphatically, with the confidence of Dubya during Mission Accomplished.
"Just one drink?" the flashlight shines in my eyes.
"Yeah, I had one beer. ONE beer". I was wondering if it was rude to spell out Beer. B as in Bob...E as in... sigh
"Okay, Sir, Can you please follow this pen with your eyes and not your head".
giggle.. he said head.
"Sir.. with your eyes.. not your head".
giggle.. he said it again.
"SIR.... please follow this pen with your eyes ONLY"
woah.. toy cop turned into Seargant Neanderthal.
"What's going on Officer?"
"We have here a DUI checkpoint, and I saw you park your car right before it. We're trying to catch any one trying to evade the checkpoint"
Oh.. excrement just got real!
Focus, canuck, Focus. eyes.. not neck. not head.. EYES.
"Okay Officer.. do it again"
and with the skills of a seeing eye dog, I followed that pen like a champ! That Bic mighta thought I was stalking it....
"Thank you Sir, you're good to go"
what that's it? Way to be stingy with the praise man.. I followed that pen like there was no tomorrow.... and I did it while holding a very distracting box of Hot Buffalo Wings!
"So wait, did you just gimme a sobreity test, while I was walking". What was he gonna charge me with .. Walking Under No Influence?
"Thank you Sir, have a great evening. "
Well, thank you Officer Chatty! sheesh.
I guess I got my first Sobreity Test.. fortunately, I had not indulged that evening..
Come to think of it.. I had. I had indulged in some fine goat cheese, and the most scrumptious of bruschettas.... all the while savoring the most radiant of smiles that only a scrumptious slice of tortamisu could bring about..
Yep, you could say I had an Extraordinary day!
What's the world come down to! Cops on a Saturday Night have nothing better to than to play meter maid?
I did a double take, my recent relationship with Southern Californian Parking Authorities was getting a bit too close for comfort, and lately, a lot of their wining and dining musta been courtesy the Canuck Engineer!.
"Yes, Officer, I sure did", convinced I'd parked within the allocated lines, AND when the meter was off. This guy had no shot of giving me a parking ticket, that's fer sure!
"Where are you coming from?
"uhh... a bar, where I just had me some delicious wings, and I thought I'd bring some back for my friends in this building." I felt like Lady Gaga's latest wardrobe malfunction... Nothing to hide!
"Oh where's my manners, Care for some buffalo hot, officer?" I offered the cop, my Canadian up bringing kicking in.
"Sir, have you been drinking?"
Well, I did come from a bar.. Do cops do this on purpose? I JUST CAME FROM A BAR!
"Yeah, I had a drink!" I proclaimed emphatically, with the confidence of Dubya during Mission Accomplished.
"Just one drink?" the flashlight shines in my eyes.
"Yeah, I had one beer. ONE beer". I was wondering if it was rude to spell out Beer. B as in Bob...E as in... sigh
"Okay, Sir, Can you please follow this pen with your eyes and not your head".
giggle.. he said head.
"Sir.. with your eyes.. not your head".
giggle.. he said it again.
"SIR.... please follow this pen with your eyes ONLY"
woah.. toy cop turned into Seargant Neanderthal.
"What's going on Officer?"
"We have here a DUI checkpoint, and I saw you park your car right before it. We're trying to catch any one trying to evade the checkpoint"
Oh.. excrement just got real!
Focus, canuck, Focus. eyes.. not neck. not head..
"Okay Officer.. do it again"
and with the skills of a seeing eye dog, I followed that pen like a champ! That Bic mighta thought I was stalking it....
"Thank you Sir, you're good to go"
what that's it? Way to be stingy with the praise man.. I followed that pen like there was no tomorrow.... and I did it while holding a very distracting box of Hot Buffalo Wings!
"So wait, did you just gimme a sobreity test, while I was walking". What was he gonna charge me with .. Walking Under No Influence?
"Thank you Sir, have a great evening. "
Well, thank you Officer Chatty! sheesh.
I guess I got my first Sobreity Test.. fortunately, I had not indulged that evening..
Come to think of it.. I had. I had indulged in some fine goat cheese, and the most scrumptious of bruschettas.... all the while savoring the most radiant of smiles that only a scrumptious slice of tortamisu could bring about..
Yep, you could say I had an Extraordinary day!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Going Postal!
He parks his minivan on the side of the road, and pops open the trunk.
He adjusts his satchel, and stashes it with more of the goods from his trunk.
He shuffles the envelopes in his hand and makes a stack.
the larger stack he put wraps an elastic band around.
He goes from house to house.. his hat on his forehead.. his satchel on his side.. and completes his task.
Its raining, its windy.. its sunny.. he makes the same rounds.. day after day... making the house calls he's obligated to...
and every evening we come back home, and look at my mailbox.. and cuss at the bills that are piled up in there... not sparing a thought for the satchel-donning, hat-clad mailman who delivers the mail and keeps the world ticking.
and with the internet, and e-bills, you'd think snail mail is soon to go the way of the dinosaur.
not anytime soon, it seems.
because as Newman would say "When you control the mail.. you control.. infohmashun!"
Salute your everyday heroes, folks... tip your mailman this Christmas!
He adjusts his satchel, and stashes it with more of the goods from his trunk.
He shuffles the envelopes in his hand and makes a stack.
the larger stack he put wraps an elastic band around.
He goes from house to house.. his hat on his forehead.. his satchel on his side.. and completes his task.
Its raining, its windy.. its sunny.. he makes the same rounds.. day after day... making the house calls he's obligated to...
and every evening we come back home, and look at my mailbox.. and cuss at the bills that are piled up in there... not sparing a thought for the satchel-donning, hat-clad mailman who delivers the mail and keeps the world ticking.
and with the internet, and e-bills, you'd think snail mail is soon to go the way of the dinosaur.
not anytime soon, it seems.
because as Newman would say "When you control the mail.. you control.. infohmashun!"
Salute your everyday heroes, folks... tip your mailman this Christmas!
Ye shall receive!
"we got next"
That's how you call "next" on the basketball courts. Its a statement... we're here.. and we're taking on the winners.. that's just the way it is... you play ... "for the courts"..
well maybe not "For the Courts", American History X style.....although that was on my to-do list.. to go play in compton.. "For the Courts" :)
But it used to be different. When you went to the courts behind the middle school.. you just walked in and said.. "hey guys.. can I play?" as simple as that.. Ask. "Can.. I ... Play".
if they were smartasses, they'd say.. "Well, can you?"..and then you showed em... of course if you were me.. you'd grin.. cuz you knew you wouldn't show em... but you'd still ask... "So what team am i on!"
but as we grow up.. we forget about the beauty of asking...and instead worry about the possible response... but if you don't ask for something.. you're no worse off than where you were before you started...
When i was a youngun... (yeah, many many many moons ago).. and flew on airlines as a minor..I'd get toys... and chocolate.. yeah.. mini airplanes, toy cars, swiss chocolate galore... it was fun to fly as a youngun.
But then I turned "older than a youngun".. and suddenly.. no pre-meal napkins.. no clock airplanes..no swiss chocolate. and so I endured the gruesome journey, over the Atlantic.. with the grumpiness of a baby that had thrown all his toys out of the pram... except that I never got em to begin with!
So at the next layover.. I asked the kind lady at the frequent flyer desk... "Can I get the toys Unaccompanied Minors get?"... The lady smiled. I then proceeded to the McDonalds, to begin my assault on the European version of the Big Mac (even back then, Big was a very generous term to use!).
As I walked into the plane to begin my next leg, a voice behind me goes.. "Is that you, Mr. Canuck Junior?".. I sure is, I beamed.. and then she went into the pantry (or the galley, or whatever they call them on an aircraft) and came out with a huge bag marked with my name on it... and there it was.. I had my mini airplanes.. and my toy cars... and enough swiss chocolates for my dentist to have a coronary!
All I did was ask.
So the next time you're in Vegas and you want some of those mini-jam and ketchup bottles for your own selection... Will you remember to ask?
The next time you get pulled over, and want the cop to let you off with a warning considering your clean record.. (and the fact that you're canadian!)... Will you remember to ask?
The next time you're a point away from making the next grade in your class, and that would be the difference between a scholarship or not... .. Will you remember to ask?
The next time you bartend at a party, and a heavenly beauty walks in for a drink...will you remember...
...
...
to ask?
-The Canuck Engineer
That's how you call "next" on the basketball courts. Its a statement... we're here.. and we're taking on the winners.. that's just the way it is... you play ... "for the courts"..
well maybe not "For the Courts", American History X style.....although that was on my to-do list.. to go play in compton.. "For the Courts" :)
But it used to be different. When you went to the courts behind the middle school.. you just walked in and said.. "hey guys.. can I play?" as simple as that.. Ask. "Can.. I ... Play".
if they were smartasses, they'd say.. "Well, can you?"..and then you showed em... of course if you were me.. you'd grin.. cuz you knew you wouldn't show em... but you'd still ask... "So what team am i on!"
but as we grow up.. we forget about the beauty of asking...and instead worry about the possible response... but if you don't ask for something.. you're no worse off than where you were before you started...
When i was a youngun... (yeah, many many many moons ago).. and flew on airlines as a minor..I'd get toys... and chocolate.. yeah.. mini airplanes, toy cars, swiss chocolate galore... it was fun to fly as a youngun.
But then I turned "older than a youngun".. and suddenly.. no pre-meal napkins.. no clock airplanes..no swiss chocolate. and so I endured the gruesome journey, over the Atlantic.. with the grumpiness of a baby that had thrown all his toys out of the pram... except that I never got em to begin with!
So at the next layover.. I asked the kind lady at the frequent flyer desk... "Can I get the toys Unaccompanied Minors get?"... The lady smiled. I then proceeded to the McDonalds, to begin my assault on the European version of the Big Mac (even back then, Big was a very generous term to use!).
As I walked into the plane to begin my next leg, a voice behind me goes.. "Is that you, Mr. Canuck Junior?".. I sure is, I beamed.. and then she went into the pantry (or the galley, or whatever they call them on an aircraft) and came out with a huge bag marked with my name on it... and there it was.. I had my mini airplanes.. and my toy cars... and enough swiss chocolates for my dentist to have a coronary!
All I did was ask.
So the next time you're in Vegas and you want some of those mini-jam and ketchup bottles for your own selection... Will you remember to ask?
The next time you get pulled over, and want the cop to let you off with a warning considering your clean record.. (and the fact that you're canadian!)... Will you remember to ask?
The next time you're a point away from making the next grade in your class, and that would be the difference between a scholarship or not... .. Will you remember to ask?
The next time you bartend at a party, and a heavenly beauty walks in for a drink...will you remember...
...
...
to ask?
-The Canuck Engineer
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Epilogue
Pay not attention to the senselessness of the illness that consumed our friend... but instead let us celebrate the joy that his young life brought about in all of us. The words of the grieving brother as he opened up the service.
and for the next little while, that is exactly what we did.
The sister shared her memories of the brother any sibling would love to have. The wonder that was her brother, how she looked up to him and how much of a pillar of support he'd been to her... it all came pouring out...in between sobs and chokes...a sentiment shared by everyone at the service.
Then the brother shared his most cherished moments, and as he described some of his experiences as a 4 year old, for the first time in the day, you could see him take a brief hiatus from the rock he'd been ever since the turmoil began a few months ago. But displaying the strength he had, as the man of the household, he labored on, and supported every single person who came up to share their favorite memories of our fallen friend.
There is probably nothing more tragic than a father having to talk about burying his son. He did not give a eulogy, as much as he had a conversation with his son who lay not 5 feet away. It would be easy to term this the biggest misfortune a family might ever have, but once you heard everyone talk about how much of an impact my noble friend had on their lives, how deeply he had touched the souls of so many, you started reconsidering mourning his devastating loss to celebrating and appreciating the brief but impactful time he had in this world.
They say that the Lord would not put you through anything you can't handle. and so would be the destiny of his new bride, who celebrated but a few weeks of her blissful marriage before he took ill, that she would be the source of strength for her soulmate for the next 5 months till death doth them apart.
while it was probably no one's intention to be that way, the heartfelt emotions pouring out in the form of words resulted in some of the most eloquent tributes you could hope for anyone to receive...and while he did not know it as he rested peacefully encased in solid oak, our friend was the wave of graciousness that entered our lives, drenched us, and just as transiently.. left us.
As the priest recited the prayers for the peace of the departed, you begin to wonder about the mysterious ways of the Lord. He lets some see their great grand kids get to college, and yet, just as graciously, he takes away some before they see their 32nd birthday.
and you started to wonder...maybe, just maybe.. the big guy above does have a plan for all of us...maybe not immediately apparent to those of us not enlightened who still consider earth their domicile, but surely, there must be a reason why sometimes those most loved and least deserving of suffering are the ones taken away the soonest.
The way he spelt his name, he was always on top of my contact list.... and metaphorically, with his conduct, he would always find himself at the top of everyone's list. As they closed the service, the family asked of us..to celebrate his legacy, and to consider celebrating the time we do have here.
Everyone dies at some point.. .but does everyone live?
You will always be at the top of my list. I will hope that you can now rest peacefully, now that you're relieved from all the suffering.... but I know..there's a lot more souls you are about to touch in that big playground upstairs.
I will miss you, my friend.
-The Canuck Engineer
and for the next little while, that is exactly what we did.
The sister shared her memories of the brother any sibling would love to have. The wonder that was her brother, how she looked up to him and how much of a pillar of support he'd been to her... it all came pouring out...in between sobs and chokes...a sentiment shared by everyone at the service.
Then the brother shared his most cherished moments, and as he described some of his experiences as a 4 year old, for the first time in the day, you could see him take a brief hiatus from the rock he'd been ever since the turmoil began a few months ago. But displaying the strength he had, as the man of the household, he labored on, and supported every single person who came up to share their favorite memories of our fallen friend.
There is probably nothing more tragic than a father having to talk about burying his son. He did not give a eulogy, as much as he had a conversation with his son who lay not 5 feet away. It would be easy to term this the biggest misfortune a family might ever have, but once you heard everyone talk about how much of an impact my noble friend had on their lives, how deeply he had touched the souls of so many, you started reconsidering mourning his devastating loss to celebrating and appreciating the brief but impactful time he had in this world.
They say that the Lord would not put you through anything you can't handle. and so would be the destiny of his new bride, who celebrated but a few weeks of her blissful marriage before he took ill, that she would be the source of strength for her soulmate for the next 5 months till death doth them apart.
while it was probably no one's intention to be that way, the heartfelt emotions pouring out in the form of words resulted in some of the most eloquent tributes you could hope for anyone to receive...and while he did not know it as he rested peacefully encased in solid oak, our friend was the wave of graciousness that entered our lives, drenched us, and just as transiently.. left us.
As the priest recited the prayers for the peace of the departed, you begin to wonder about the mysterious ways of the Lord. He lets some see their great grand kids get to college, and yet, just as graciously, he takes away some before they see their 32nd birthday.
and you started to wonder...maybe, just maybe.. the big guy above does have a plan for all of us...maybe not immediately apparent to those of us not enlightened who still consider earth their domicile, but surely, there must be a reason why sometimes those most loved and least deserving of suffering are the ones taken away the soonest.
The way he spelt his name, he was always on top of my contact list.... and metaphorically, with his conduct, he would always find himself at the top of everyone's list. As they closed the service, the family asked of us..to celebrate his legacy, and to consider celebrating the time we do have here.
Everyone dies at some point.. .but does everyone live?
You will always be at the top of my list. I will hope that you can now rest peacefully, now that you're relieved from all the suffering.... but I know..there's a lot more souls you are about to touch in that big playground upstairs.
I will miss you, my friend.
-The Canuck Engineer
Friday, March 11, 2011
Sunset
The Dog Days of summer are the sultriest, toughest days of the season.
Every now and then you get a preview of the warmth of that beloved season in the middle of a cold winter...
and the sun rays gleam on your skin..
and the wind blows through your hair..
and you ride through the California freeway system with the top down, feeling alive.
But its the circle of life... As sure as the crest today.. .following soon after is a trough.
and sometimes you descend into it like quicksand...at other times it hits you like a ton of bricks...
and the sense of taste leaves your tongue..
and the appetite leaves your stomach..
and the thought of slumber leaves your body..
all while you wonder why it is those who least deserve it suffer most.
Whether its those hit by the tsunami in Japan
or perhaps those hit by the vagaries of life a lot closer to home..
you wonder...and you pity... and you mourn..
Some mourn in company, others in solitude..
its undeniable..there is grief in loss, and we all deal with it... in our own way..
and in the midst of those gloomy, cloudy days..
right in the middle of dealing with the cocktail of emotions you never knew even existed..
as you stare aimlessly at the horizon, wondering when it will be dawn again...
you witness unbridled joy...
like that on the face of a newborn's father,
or the satisfaction at the first bite of a chocolate chip cookie at the end of a fasting day..
and you finally start appreciating the hairpin turns in the journey we call life..
and if only for a brief few moments..
the sun shines again...
the wind blows again
and from the trenches of your heart, you let out a wry smile.
Every now and then you get a preview of the warmth of that beloved season in the middle of a cold winter...
and the sun rays gleam on your skin..
and the wind blows through your hair..
and you ride through the California freeway system with the top down, feeling alive.
But its the circle of life... As sure as the crest today.. .following soon after is a trough.
and sometimes you descend into it like quicksand...at other times it hits you like a ton of bricks...
and the sense of taste leaves your tongue..
and the appetite leaves your stomach..
and the thought of slumber leaves your body..
all while you wonder why it is those who least deserve it suffer most.
Whether its those hit by the tsunami in Japan
or perhaps those hit by the vagaries of life a lot closer to home..
you wonder...and you pity... and you mourn..
Some mourn in company, others in solitude..
its undeniable..there is grief in loss, and we all deal with it... in our own way..
and in the midst of those gloomy, cloudy days..
right in the middle of dealing with the cocktail of emotions you never knew even existed..
as you stare aimlessly at the horizon, wondering when it will be dawn again...
you witness unbridled joy...
like that on the face of a newborn's father,
or the satisfaction at the first bite of a chocolate chip cookie at the end of a fasting day..
and you finally start appreciating the hairpin turns in the journey we call life..
and if only for a brief few moments..
the sun shines again...
the wind blows again
and from the trenches of your heart, you let out a wry smile.
Remember the time?
Remember the times back in Canuck Collegiate Institute?
Remember all those times we walked to school on top of multiple feet of snow, clad in our parkas, rocking our thermal mitts but too cool to wear a "toque", cuz covering your head wasn't manly! Remember all those subsequent bouts of pneumonia we all suffered through?
Remember that time that OleN decided to fore-go gloves, and hid his hands in his parka, only to get his face intimately acquainted with the slippery ice road!
Remember when the VP of attendance caught us skipping class, and decided to chase us around on a bicycle.. and then fell.... and then we went to check up on him to see if he was seriously injured, only to get detention for the entire week after that!
Remember when we decided in all our ingenuity, to celebrate a friends 18th birthday by drinking Hard Lemonade .. that too, of all places, in the bleachers on the football field... remember the sinking feeling we got when we saw police lights heading towards us through the football field, and the visions of being behind bars that fleeted through our thoughts? Remember how cool we thought it was that we were rocking Mike's Hard Lemonade!!
Remember how we sawed off a tree to make a nice seating area for us behind the baseball field... the area forever entrenched in our memory as the Log of Wood... why did we feel the need to describe what the log was made of?
Remember the time when you had a massive crush on the young English Teacher.. and how devastated you were when you found out that on the last day of class, which you skipped, she gave out hugs to her first ever class....and remember the expression on her face when you went to the staff room to demand your hug, after all!
Remember when you realized that taking the bus 40 minutes after the one you usually took would get you to class only 5 minutes late, thus justifying an extra 30 minutes of snoozing? Remember how brilliant that decision felt when you were barred from all your classes for 30 consecutive "Lates"?
Remember how proud you were of the group purchase of the $500 Crown Victoria, in which every part made a louder sound than the horn ? How did that feel when the cops showed up to claim their "stolen"car back :)
Remember how proud you were that a Hollywood Film was being shot at your school many years after you graduated? Remember how bummed you were that it turned out to be "Mean Girls"
Remember the times you used to go to the library to "study", but only during the times the cute exchange student had a spare?
Also remember how crushed you were when you bid $10 for Hug and Kiss from that exchange student, only to find out she was doling out Hershey's Candy?
sigh... I love meeting up with high school friends, to reminisce back to the Time of Our Lives!
The "Greenday" Canuck Engineer
Remember all those times we walked to school on top of multiple feet of snow, clad in our parkas, rocking our thermal mitts but too cool to wear a "toque", cuz covering your head wasn't manly! Remember all those subsequent bouts of pneumonia we all suffered through?
Remember that time that OleN decided to fore-go gloves, and hid his hands in his parka, only to get his face intimately acquainted with the slippery ice road!
Remember when the VP of attendance caught us skipping class, and decided to chase us around on a bicycle.. and then fell.... and then we went to check up on him to see if he was seriously injured, only to get detention for the entire week after that!
Remember when we decided in all our ingenuity, to celebrate a friends 18th birthday by drinking Hard Lemonade .. that too, of all places, in the bleachers on the football field... remember the sinking feeling we got when we saw police lights heading towards us through the football field, and the visions of being behind bars that fleeted through our thoughts? Remember how cool we thought it was that we were rocking Mike's Hard Lemonade!!
Remember how we sawed off a tree to make a nice seating area for us behind the baseball field... the area forever entrenched in our memory as the Log of Wood... why did we feel the need to describe what the log was made of?
Remember the time when you had a massive crush on the young English Teacher.. and how devastated you were when you found out that on the last day of class, which you skipped, she gave out hugs to her first ever class....and remember the expression on her face when you went to the staff room to demand your hug, after all!
Remember when you realized that taking the bus 40 minutes after the one you usually took would get you to class only 5 minutes late, thus justifying an extra 30 minutes of snoozing? Remember how brilliant that decision felt when you were barred from all your classes for 30 consecutive "Lates"?
Remember how proud you were of the group purchase of the $500 Crown Victoria, in which every part made a louder sound than the horn ? How did that feel when the cops showed up to claim their "stolen"car back :)
Remember how proud you were that a Hollywood Film was being shot at your school many years after you graduated? Remember how bummed you were that it turned out to be "Mean Girls"
Remember the times you used to go to the library to "study", but only during the times the cute exchange student had a spare?
Also remember how crushed you were when you bid $10 for Hug and Kiss from that exchange student, only to find out she was doling out Hershey's Candy?
sigh... I love meeting up with high school friends, to reminisce back to the Time of Our Lives!
The "Greenday" Canuck Engineer
Monday, February 7, 2011
CanuckBots!
I'm an engineer.
Yes, I know its obvious, given the title of this blog... but its still worth mentioning.
I'm an engineer.
I went to school to become an engineer.
I work as an engineer.
Ergo, I am technically apt.
or so you'd think!
Over the past few weeks, machines have decided to band together and mess with me!
In december, i turned on my heat, cuz i was freezing.. yeah, i know I'm canadian, and I know I live in So Cal.. but i was still cold!.. nay, freezing. Actually, I went to bed really cold ... so I decided to turn on the heat.. and then woke up freezing!
I looked at my thermostat, and realized, I had turned on my airconditioning..and the apartment was a balmy 61 degrees!!
Last month, I started seeing the world half clear and half blurry... For a few minutes, I was a philosopher... Then I realized I had worn both my contact lenses in my same eye!
Congratulations Canuck, you're well on your way to qualifying for a Darwin award!
Then the following week, I decided to move some money into my checking account to allow for vegas.. uhmm.. expenses. The next day, I get an overdraft notice. yep, I had somehow moved money OUT of my account!
Finally, last week, I actually did turn on my heater, and my smoke detector went nuts as my living room resembled a cigar lounge..
Whats going on here? when did the machines and I stop getting along together? I remember me and my first car, the trusty Oldsmobile, spending many years in perfect harmony? Why then, am I being victimized here?
And then I figured it out. All these are clearly attempts by Optimus Prime and his troupe to try and get my attention. I might just be the Canuck Witwicky.. and yeah, somewhere here, I hold the All Spark.. yep, the key to Earth's survival!
As I go on a spree to collect all the eyeglasses in my apartment, belonging to me, my friends or some ebay guy... I'd like to remind you ladies that when you look at the CanuckEngineer.
.... There's more than meets the eye!
Yes, I know its obvious, given the title of this blog... but its still worth mentioning.
I'm an engineer.
I went to school to become an engineer.
I work as an engineer.
Ergo, I am technically apt.
or so you'd think!
Over the past few weeks, machines have decided to band together and mess with me!
In december, i turned on my heat, cuz i was freezing.. yeah, i know I'm canadian, and I know I live in So Cal.. but i was still cold!.. nay, freezing. Actually, I went to bed really cold ... so I decided to turn on the heat.. and then woke up freezing!
I looked at my thermostat, and realized, I had turned on my airconditioning..and the apartment was a balmy 61 degrees!!
Last month, I started seeing the world half clear and half blurry... For a few minutes, I was a philosopher... Then I realized I had worn both my contact lenses in my same eye!
Congratulations Canuck, you're well on your way to qualifying for a Darwin award!
Then the following week, I decided to move some money into my checking account to allow for vegas.. uhmm.. expenses. The next day, I get an overdraft notice. yep, I had somehow moved money OUT of my account!
Finally, last week, I actually did turn on my heater, and my smoke detector went nuts as my living room resembled a cigar lounge..
Whats going on here? when did the machines and I stop getting along together? I remember me and my first car, the trusty Oldsmobile, spending many years in perfect harmony? Why then, am I being victimized here?
And then I figured it out. All these are clearly attempts by Optimus Prime and his troupe to try and get my attention. I might just be the Canuck Witwicky.. and yeah, somewhere here, I hold the All Spark.. yep, the key to Earth's survival!
As I go on a spree to collect all the eyeglasses in my apartment, belonging to me, my friends or some ebay guy... I'd like to remind you ladies that when you look at the CanuckEngineer.
.... There's more than meets the eye!
Sweet Blog O Mine!
Watching the Superbowl, it seems to me, reminds of old Bloggin Memories!
and what better way to start up my New Year (yep, i know its February) resolution than to blog on the night after the Superbowl!
The game was pretty good... a lot more exciting than it seemed it would be early in the first half. But while the game kept its promise, I was definitely underwhelmed by the quality of commercials this year.
As has been the case every year, I watched the game surrounded by people who insisted they were huge football fans and kept urging the players to "shoot a goal already"... and marvelled that "the kick had no shot of making a touchdown". It obvious, this game is about the commercials...and the halftime show... and the pregame show.. really everything except what goes in the gridiron.
It started off kinda fun.. Some guy dressed in drag decided to sing the national anthem and then decided to just "mad-lib" the words. Oh wait, it was Christina Aguilera! and she held the last note, on "Brave" for over 9 seconds.. (and yes.. that's longer than you think!!!)
Volkswagen's Mini Darth Vader was undoubtedly the best commercial of them all. And they barely even focussed on the car.. Marketing at its finest.
Easy Loser: Groupon.. Really groupon? of all the games in all the sports in all the countries of the world, you had to walk into the middle of the superbowl.. with an ill advised take on Tibet! Y'know when people hold signs saying "Free Tibet", they're not giving away the country for no cost!
I loved that the car companies decided to make a strong comeback. It felt like every other ad was a car commercial. I particularly liked the Chrysler ad. Serious, well thought out and made the point... GoDaddy and Stella could take a cue from them. No Humor is a lot better than failed humor!
and If I were to take that advice... I wouldn't have a blog!!
Watching the half time show made me realize how hard the organizers tried to "be relevant" to today's youth. No Prince, no old fogeys this time around.... the only faux pas in my opinion was Fergie's massacre of Sweet Child O Mine. If Slash's face wasn't completed hidden by his hair and hat, you coulda seen a little tear roll out of his eyes...as he tried to forget his GNR memories!
But of course, I enjoyed the whole production... and to top it all, I actually won me some money, some drinks and possibly even a dinner... Yeah, I know I was supposed to give up gambling, after my last trip to Sin City... (oh yeah, tha'ts a whole new blog post comin soon)... but atleast on Superbowl 45, I was ...
-The Winning CanuckEngineer!
and what better way to start up my New Year (yep, i know its February) resolution than to blog on the night after the Superbowl!
The game was pretty good... a lot more exciting than it seemed it would be early in the first half. But while the game kept its promise, I was definitely underwhelmed by the quality of commercials this year.
As has been the case every year, I watched the game surrounded by people who insisted they were huge football fans and kept urging the players to "shoot a goal already"... and marvelled that "the kick had no shot of making a touchdown". It obvious, this game is about the commercials...and the halftime show... and the pregame show.. really everything except what goes in the gridiron.
It started off kinda fun.. Some guy dressed in drag decided to sing the national anthem and then decided to just "mad-lib" the words. Oh wait, it was Christina Aguilera! and she held the last note, on "Brave" for over 9 seconds.. (and yes.. that's longer than you think!!!)
Volkswagen's Mini Darth Vader was undoubtedly the best commercial of them all. And they barely even focussed on the car.. Marketing at its finest.
Easy Loser: Groupon.. Really groupon? of all the games in all the sports in all the countries of the world, you had to walk into the middle of the superbowl.. with an ill advised take on Tibet! Y'know when people hold signs saying "Free Tibet", they're not giving away the country for no cost!
I loved that the car companies decided to make a strong comeback. It felt like every other ad was a car commercial. I particularly liked the Chrysler ad. Serious, well thought out and made the point... GoDaddy and Stella could take a cue from them. No Humor is a lot better than failed humor!
and If I were to take that advice... I wouldn't have a blog!!
Watching the half time show made me realize how hard the organizers tried to "be relevant" to today's youth. No Prince, no old fogeys this time around.... the only faux pas in my opinion was Fergie's massacre of Sweet Child O Mine. If Slash's face wasn't completed hidden by his hair and hat, you coulda seen a little tear roll out of his eyes...as he tried to forget his GNR memories!
But of course, I enjoyed the whole production... and to top it all, I actually won me some money, some drinks and possibly even a dinner... Yeah, I know I was supposed to give up gambling, after my last trip to Sin City... (oh yeah, tha'ts a whole new blog post comin soon)... but atleast on Superbowl 45, I was ...
-The Winning CanuckEngineer!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)