Delicious and Refreshing!

I was busy...
she was there waiting for me

I had it all set up..
ready to celebrate..
but guess I just didn't pay attention to the timing

They said it was not a good match
but that's not what I learned on tv
and in all those magazines
They said, heck yeah, I enjoy her.
and I believed it..

But she wasn't ready..
then she got too cold.
Just could never time it right...

and so I just left her there
all by herself in the cold..
and by the time I figured I should check on her..
the fizz was gone.

Dear Bottle of Mexican Coke in my refrigerator
You deserved better..
Maybe next time?

-The Canuck Engineer

Las Vegas, New Jersey!

I check my mail.

ooh look at that.. an evite

"the debacheloring of Canuck's Friend"..

hmm.. a bachelor party.. sweet..
Wouldn't mind a trip to vegas.. its been a while.
not that I haven't been on trips lately..
but seems to be pretty damn swamped around these parts recently..
and the next couple of months don't promise much respite..

So this might be just what the doctor ordered in November.

well, lets be clear.. a weekend in vegas is quite possibly exactly the opposite of what doctors might order.. whether it be in November, or march.. or any other month..

but this is my buddy whose bachelor party has been a long time coming...
and the Canuck has never needed much of an excuse to head to vegas!
(bank accounts and credit card statements not withstanding!)

I tell my buddy, Mo.. who's got a few decades on me..
but might even be younger than me at heart.
"hey mo.. you going to Sam's BP?
OH hells yeah i am!
Mo continues.."y'know, i get invited to a ton of bachelor parties"..
..and then pauses, not sure if for effect. or if he's just lost his train of thought..
"... but i never get invited to the weddings".

I let out a mind-chuckle.... where I laugh out loud in my mind but say nothing..
and happens to be quite the opposite of keeping a poker face.. but saying "L O L".
which happens to be a peeve of mine.. one I share with the great Sir Larry David!

Mo muses... "not sure if the weddings get cancelled after the wild times we have at the BP.."
... "or cause I'm just persona-non-grata after what goes on in those times"

Oh.. well, we're going to Vegas.. and I'm getting excited for this.

I don't know if I always used to feel this way.. or if the excitement is mostly due to watching "The Hangover"... but I'm excited..

I continue reading the evite...
"So let us know if you're in for a round of Golf.. and after that we'll head to the Taj".

The TAJ? I didn't know there was a Taj in Vegas.. is this a new casino? a club?

I read the evite again..
"Atlantic City".

ATLANTIC CITY??

You want me to go NEW JERSEY for a party?
the sewage dump of the world... For a party?
are you effin kidding me??

I send out an email expressing my displeasure in no diplomatic terms to the Best man.

within minutes I get a response..

"I know how much we all wanted to go to vegas bro.. but a lot of the people are already in NYC, and so we figured AC was the obvious location.. . besides its pretty much the same thing"

Same thinG?

Are you kidding me?

you're saying atlantic city is the same thing as vegas?

If it was the same thing, it wouldn't be called Atlantic City..
It would be called "LAs Vegas"!!!

the same thing?
no its the not the same thing.

A donut without a hole is not a donut!
its a danish.

and i'll be damned if I got to a Danish bachelor party!!

oh wait.. Danish?? ie Denmark? i.e scandinavia?

hmmmm
hhmmmmm

Well, I wouldn't so much mind a Danish Party..
but it better be in vegas!!

And if I'm gonna go to Atlantic City..
Its gonna be under protest
and I will not participate in any of the adventures of the weekend.

Unless, they change it to Vegas.

Vegas Baby
Vegas
:D

-The Canuck "rainman" Engineer

Lazy Sunday!

After completing a packed Saturday that started at 5am.. and ended sometime in the wee hours on Sunday morning, I decided to reward myself with a lazy Sunday afternoon of watching Football... Sure its a luxury I may not have for long, so I figured I'd squeeze it in while I could... After all, the Chargers are looking good, the Patriots lost.. and I kept flipping over to watch the Yankees-Sox game go into extra innings...

But unfortunately my lazy Sunday didn't end up lasting long, since later in the evening I had to attend to a few other things, including writing and researching a paper... finally, after getting that done, I allowed myself to flip the channels and caught the "top 100 songs" from the past decade..

As the songs played in the background, while I continued hacking away at my keyboard, I kept thinking back to the times of each song. Its funny how every single #1 reminded me of an exciting summer in high school.. or a Halloween party .. really just bringing back memories associated with that time in my life..

Got me thinking.. You always tend to look into the past and reminisce about the good times you had.

Also, reminded me of the excitement I felt back then at the prospect of school, college, traveling abroad, or whatever have you.

and then i started wondering about the things that I might have done different, and how that might have changed the life I currently live.

What if I took a job in Canada, and never made it down to the states?
How about taking on that internship in Finland, and maybe settling in Scandinavia?

What if I'd gone to that Oktoberfest event in Germany, that all my friends went to?

Perhaps that wedding of my friend that I wanted to attend and never could?

You're always going to have thoughts about the past that make you feel good or not so great.
You always tend to ponder the future with feelings of excitement and anxiety intertwined.

Could I have done anything different?
Should I have done anything different?

I remember when I wanted to apply to college.. I made sure I did everything to position myself the best possible way for the interview..met the right people, said the right things.. even made an unsolicited visit to press my case.. even before I got the decision.

Was I more aggressive back then? Has age and.. ahem maturity.. made me softer?

I wanted to explore retail sales after college.. and I cold called' the crap out of the companies I wanted...even showed up to meet the GM of a dealership hours after I had faxed him my resume. I waited in the lobby until he gave me 10 minutes...and boy did I make those minutes count!

They wanted somebody.. I had to prove I was that somebody.

That's really what it all comes down to!

A house for sale wants somebody to be a buyer... You need to convince the seller you're that somebody.
A company with an opening wants an employee... You need to convince them you're that somebody.

Everything comes down to that.. filling that void.. filling that need..

SOMEBODY's gotta get it...why not that somebody be you?

But that's the thing... There IS a need. when you have that, you have a shot.

What about cases when there is no "need".. or "void".
There is no position to fill?

Or what if you want something.. but its just not available?
that's just bad timing..

Timing.. the most critical of things.. sometimes way beyond anything you can control.

if you want a job now.. and your dream company isn't hiring till next year.. what can you do?

What about those times you lowered your bet to the minimum, only to get a blackjack?
Remember when you bought a new stock? and the market tanked?
and then you sold at a loss.. and then the stock just exploded?
how about that timing..

You can walk away.. brush it off..
it just wasn't mean to be..

but what if it was something you really wanted?
It could be a stock,
it could be that house. .
it could be your career.
it could be "her"..

Well it could be a "him".. lets not forget.. Dont Ask Don't Tell did just get repealed!

So you walk away...?
nothing you coulda done?
give up.. go home?
It just "wasn't in the cards"?

I remember my best poker hand that I played..
I got a 2 pair on the flop... Winning hand that..
and then the turn brought about a pair on the board..
Somebody might have trips!
and then the Ace rivered.
What should I have done?
Smart strategy would be to fold..
I wasn't that invested..
but i looked around.. .I didn't see a lot of confidence...
and so I represented the full house..
and I played it like a full-house..
and then people started mucking..
and at the river...I bet strong.. and a guy with a higher 2 pair actually folded!
I won that hand..
the one that "wasn't in the cards"

and I don't even care about poker.. but i went for it.

Would I do that for something I really cared about?
What if the timing wasn't right?
Would I be willing to just walk away?

When it really matters.. what are you willing to do?
You can't fit a square peg in a round hole..
That is futile.. and also stupid.
If its a bad deal.. you walk away...
There's always another opportunity if you look hard enough..

But if it could fit..but the timing's off..
do you still let the situation get the better of you?

In some matters, you just can't force the issue..
So what do you do?

They say your legacy is defined by the decisions you make..
but it is equally impacted... by those you didn't make!

Everyone knows about "The Decision" courtesy Lebron.
He probably made the wrong one..
even if it was the correct one, he went about it the wrong way.
He was listening to the wrong people..

When faced with the "big" decisions...
you talk to those you care about
and sound out your thoughts..
and hear theirs..
Its probably why people have partners.
in firms..
in investments..
in relationships..

Unless of course that's the very decision you're faced with..
haha.. that's when you gotta listen to your gut..
and make your decision flying solo..

and as I type this... the "hit" being played on tv?

"My shadow's the only one that walks beside me..
...I walk alone"

Appropriate!

-The Canuck "Greenday" Engineer

Bells and whistles

Remember when the summer vacation would end.. and you'd dread the first day of school..
and you'd make every possible excuse to avoid going to class.
and convince yourself you were too sick to go to school...
so much so that you'd feign sickness until you actually fell sick..
and contracted a light fever..
or a cold.. or a cough..
really just anything to extend the vacation by one more day?

Some things never really change..
You plan to go to bed on time the night before..
and yet fail miserably to do that..
and then ignore your cell phone alarm till the battery dies.
and try to catch those precious few minutes of shut eye..

But try as you might.. you'd always wake up to a phone call..
that reminded you to wake up..
cuz its time to get up!
But then that phone never does ring
and you never get that wake up call.
and you sleep in that extra 10 minutes
and then look at the clock..
and realize you no longer have time to "prep" for class..
and so you tuck yourself in the covers even deeper
delaying the inevitable..

and then your alarm clock starts beeping...
and then starts chirping...
and then you detect a sound on your night stand..
followed by a thud..
all the while accompanied by the loudest beeping you've ever heard..
and you wave your arms frnatically...
reaching for your alarm clock on your nightstand..
hoping agianst hope for it to shut up..
but it doesnt..
cuz now the sound emanates from outside your room..
and it just won't stop..
and then you finally get out of bed in a huff..
and chase down your damn alarm clock into hte living room..
as it tries its best to evade you..
and you finally pick it up and shut it down..

but by then you're out of bed..
and you're up
and you see the time..
and you realize.. ITS TIME...
and then you just accept that you're now up to start your coveted (dreaded) Saturday morning.
and then you groom yourself...
from a scrub into a presentable student ready to get his learn on..
and frantically leave the house.. to get to your car..

and as you're about to lock your door...
you look back in..
and see the alarm clock now on the living room counter..
and let out a wry smile..

Thank you Clocky.... you done did it again

-The Canuck Engineer

Manly Decisions!

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.


The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.


The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.



The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.




Then he married the one with the biggest boobs.


-The Manly Canuck Engineer

Band Camp

I wish I played a musical instrument.

I never had a ear for music.. or a voice.... or a face or a body.. but i guess that's getting beyond this.

Growing up, we all had to take the mandatory music/band class... so I kinda sorta played an instrument.. but never really learned anything.

I wasn't gonna be a master at anything that I had to blow into.... so the flute was out right there...and I'd seen enough videos of the tuba guy in the band getting all kinds of things stuffed into the other end.. so that was out too!

I wanted to play the piano. .that was kinda grandiose.. but figured i'd never have the hand-leg coordination to deal with the pedals etc...and besides playing with two hands.. If I don't need two hands to drive, why should I use two for music... so there went the Piano.

I did like the idea of the keyboard.. so I spent a few months practicing that in school. But of course, practicing in school on the school keyboard wasn't cool. so i had to get mine. so I could bring that to school, and high-step my mad finger skills... (no no... we're still talking about music here... and no..we're ONLY talking about accoustic music.. no metaphors for making music.. get outtta here you gutterminds!)...

So i convinced my folks to get me a yamaha keyboard. It wasn't easy, cuz they knew I switched my choice of musical instruments faster than Liz Taylor changed husbands.. (yeah, I could've with a lady gaga reference, but its key that I highlight the fact that I grew up at a time when liz taylor still mattered.. actually she didn't, i ain't that old.. but it gives me some kind of pervasive pleasure to make myself older than I am... perhaps its my way of convincing myself of my awesome maturation processs...one that grey hairs will never provide!.. not that i have any .... and yes Denial is not just a river in Africa... get it? get it.. rimshot! i'm here all week).

Anyways, I finally got myself my badass Yamaha keyboard.. took it to class to demo the canuck rendition of what I considered a classic : the Top Gun theme... and the fact that It had taken me a whole two weeks to learn a theme song that was even easier than Chopsticks on the piano didn't faze me one bit.. >Then again, it took me a LONG time to figure out chopsticks for real.

I used to love ramen noodles as a 7 year old.. and would insist on eating them with a fork, including the soup... Never did do the math on that one.. and my fork never really scooped that much soup in the first place, but since when did logic ever get equated with anything the Canuck Engineer ever did.. .haha yeah, it might surprise those who know the Canuck now, that I wasn't always this brilliant.. thank you thank you! and one fine day, my neighbors.. two sisters, one of whom I hated, and the other who I was particularly fond off, invited me over for some Ramen... and as I took on a fork and prepared to embark on an expedition of culinary delight, they said.. "fork".. how bout chopsticks? and I gave them a look that said "Do I look like a graduate from the 36th Temple of Shaolin arts"? cuz I had only ever seen those guys rock chopsticks with Ramen... but no.. they insisted that I try out some Ramen-chopsticks style...and after 2 weeks of practice.. and about 10 bowls of Ramen later, I was a ChopMaster!

Anyways.,. the day I went to demo my Keyboard skills, this other guy decided to demo his rendition of Hotel California.. yeah.. in Grade 3!! Hotel California.. while I was just getting ready to spit some top Gun toons! and that's when I decided the keyboard was lame..
and never played it again...
and the Yamaha spent many years in our house.. acting as a wonderful display item, sometimes confused for a clothes rack..

But then many a time, especially in college and beyond, I felt it would've been nice if I'd learned to play the Guitar..y'know.. a COOL instrument... and then I saw Bill Clinton rock the Sax... and i figured.. if the President of the United States can blow into a tube.. then it shouldn't be beneath... but unfortunately I never got my shot at music..

until Guitar Hero.. and Rock band!
and then's when I discovered.. i sucked at the guitar..
well, i wasn't absolutely brutal, but it held no interest to me whatsoever..
yeah, in my head, i could picture being a Rock Band lead guitarist with chicks swooning all over me...but still.. no guitar for me..
but I did discover the drums! and I loved it..
and i took to it like fish take to alcohol.... or is it water? well, it goes "drink like a fish".. so it probably means alcohol.. so yeah.. I took to the RockBand drums like a fish takes to alcohol.. lets say a Mojito..... and I really enjoyed it...
and i got really good at it.. unlocking all those new levels.. and suddenly discovered a hitherto unknown hand-foot miscoordination that would make driving look like rocket science.. but i still enjoyed it..
and wondered.. what If I'd tried to learn the drums early on....hmm.. who knows!

why this sudden interest in music again?

Well.. partially, because I always wanted to write this on my facebook status:

"my neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning. can you believe that?! 2:30am! luckily for him I was still up playing my drums!"

Haha. but really, its basically that, after a weekend of watching a lot of Shawshank redemption... the quote that rings out the loudest to me is Andy saying

"You need (music) so you don't forget....That there are places in the world that aren't made out of stone. That there's... there's somethin' inside that they can't get to; that they can't touch. It's yours."
What are you talkin' about?
Hope.

and Red, displaying the cynicism that's so typical in today's world...the one where people are so afraid of failure.. and its repercussions. that they won't dare dream..

" Hope? Let me tell you something, my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane. It's got no use on the inside. You'd better get used to that idea."

Nah....That's not an idea I could ever get used to...
which is probably why I think I would have enjoyed playing the drums..
not just so I could give myself the customary "rimshot" after each one of my zingers!!
(well, they can't all be winners!)
but so I could bang on the rawhide..and remind myself.... there be hope in them these sounds..and that's the beauty of music... no body can turn that off!!

Too bad I didn't get a chance to be the next Hendrix or Slash...oh well, So I couldn't be a Star.. but I could still always be the next Ringo Starr ! (Rim shot.. another advantage of playing the drums!)

Because as Andy says...
"Remember, Red. Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.."

-The Canuck Engineer

Great Expectations

Great expectations

they say its good to go through life without expecting anything from anyone..
Do what you gotta do, and if you get something more than what's your due, then consider it a bonus

Its one way to live life.. Its what all the grown up wisdom is all about.
Do what you're meant to do, thats your duty.. and fear not about the results.
That's one way to look at it..

As a young kid, I would wake up on Christmas morning,
with all kinds of goodies under my pillow and around my bed.
It was awesome, cuz it was unexpected..a bonus

Then I began to equate the concept of Santa with gifts.
and as December came rolling, I would get the countdown to Christmas eve started
As far removed from anything Christian as I was, Christmas eve was what I waited for.
and there is nothing bigger for a 5 year old, than the prospect of "santa" coming in at night
and stuffing your stockings with everything you wanted... or hoped for.
I mean a 5 year old doesn't want much..
but as december approached... I would clean up my act..
and stay clean.. and go to bed on time.. and wake up on time..
and make my bed. and clean up after myself.
so that Santa got the note.. that I was a "nice" kid.
and every day.. i would wait.. for december 24th
and the anticipation would build
and i would always wonder.. what will i wake up to Christmas morning..
Would I get a GI Joe?.... Would I get a transformer? Something from the Master of Universe?
A mattel toy car? I had been good for 2 months after all...surely that was worth a ferrari.
and my expectations would grow.. and I would wonder..
and every night.. the anticipation would make it all the more exciting..
and I would dream... of what it would be like.. on Christmas morning.
and I would wake up smiling.. and cross another day off the calender..

If someone told me then.. have no expectations for Christmas, I would look at them appalled
My world would have been shattered.
What's wrong with having expectations?
At worst, I wouldn't get what I wanted..
but atleast I got to dream..
and is that not worth it all at the end?
So what if I got a box of chocolates at the end of it all..
and no Gi Joes...
Atleast I got a box of chocolates, didn't I?

It was so simple back then...
We're all born perfect...
and then we learn about the world..
and the thought of disappointment...
and get so scared at the very prospect...
that we don't even dare to dream.

I wanna be that 5 year old kid again...
and yeah.. have all the expectations I want...
and sometimes I'll get what I hope is coming to me..
and other times.. I'll fall.

Well, falling down is part of life..
Getting up is living..
Time is swift, it races by;
Opportunities are born and die...
Still you wait and will not try -
A bird with wings who dares not rise and fly.

As R. Kelly so simplistically put it... I believe I can fly..

Come fly with ...

-The Canuck Engineer