Oral Beauty!

For someone who's been orthodontically blessed most of his life, last months' dentist's visit came as a bit of a surprise. Every since I moved to SoCal, preventive health had taken a backseat. Almost 2 years later, i decided to get my teeth cleaned. The appointment happened as a result of my escapades at the Bank, in the same food court.


2 weeks later, at the appointment, I meet Mr. Dentist, greeting me with a huge smile. Suddenly, I felt like my balls were in a brace.. weird feeling, sort of what people associate with walking into a used Car lot owned by Guido Suave! ( I do have a soft spot for the car sales profession, but we'll discuss that in another post).

Dentist: "Mr Canuck, how're you doing, I'm Dentist. (I was waiting for "I'm Rick James, bitch!".. wrong show!). I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions, they might sound weird but bear with me"
I sigh to myself. Sure, I'll humour you, Mr. Dentist.as I prepared myself for the upsell...teeth whitening strips, Invisaligns, Electric ToothBrushes, some platinum grills. That last idea aint half bad. :D
Dentist: "How do you like your smile"
Engineer: "Fantastical, next!"
Dentist: "What would you change about your face?"
Engineer: "I'm the next coming of Narcissus. I'd actually like to clone my face, I think its perfect" I would've liked to have said that.. i Just said. " Nothing"
Dentist: "Are you open to cosmetic improvement for your oral beauty"... Oral Beauty?? The last time I heard a sentence with those two words in it.....well....well, lets keep this PG-13, what say ye!
I mumbled something that said..I dont' really care for it

Dentist: "Thank you very much Mr. Canuck, we'll now do the x-ray jazz and oral examination"
"Umm, nurse, why don't you take 3 x-rays from each angle, and then do the panoramic.. and then if you want to do any individuals, do the the three molars each.. and how about a couple of the front ones as well..... Howz your insurance Mr. Canuck?"

Anyways, despite the extremely slick-haired 'interduction", the exam wasn't too eventful after that. I was scheduled for a cleaning, and a "discussion". Turns out I had a couple of wisdom teeth that were impacted, so they needed to be yanked. Might as well grab the upper ones at the same time.. Sure. And one impacted tooth caused decay in my molar.. so need a fillign for that.. oh whats that, not a filling, but an onlay? oh sweet, only $1300 for one of those.. oh the insurance covers an entire HALF of that.. Aren't you just wonderful, Mr. Dentist.

So I leave the dentist, with a "suggested" action estimate totalling 2G's out of pocket.. Welcome to SoCal, Canuck, where the Doctors play and the Engineers pay!