Of Wisdom & sundry!

So I decided to get my wisdom teeth yanked. I wasn't so sure about going back to the Dentist, walking into whose office the last time, I felt compelled to keep a hand on my wallet.

But the extractions were to be done by his colleague, one who actually had a pretty good rep. I had a few concerns, so the receptionist promised she'd call me back to answer my questions.

Ms. Dentist: "Hi Mr. Canuck, I hear you have some questions ahead of your extractions later this week"
Engineer: "Yea, are you gonna put me to sleep?"
Ms. Dentist: "No, we don't put people under, you'd have to go to an Oral Surgeon for that, besides, I don't think you'll need it"

Never really needed gas to start laughing, I figured to myself. Lets move on..

Engineer: "Are you gonna give me a lot of Vicodin?"
Ms. Dentist: "That depends on how it goes. We'll see"

That's not a good answer. I've always heard about the wonder of Vicodin. and now that I finally have a legit reason to atleast try some, I get a "Depends". Depends is for incontinence, woman!! Besides, all the help I'm expecting later this week is contingent on that part going through!

Engineer: "Am I gonna have whiplash, since you'll yanking my teeth, and I'll be pulling back?"

Ms.Dentist: "Excuse me?"

At this point, she started laughing. I was actually serious. If you're gonna yank my teeth, howz my neck going to be supported?

Ms. Dentist: "That's the first time I ever heard that. Don't worry about it, you'll be fine"


D-Day.

I've made a big enough deal about it.. every one who knows me has heard bout this.. most of them have been assigned duties, against their wills, of course. Transportation to & fro, meds, food etc. I figured, its the only time I'm ever getting my wisdoms pulled, might as well milk it!


I'm a tad apprehensive, but not really worried. some 20 years ago when i was a youngun, we went to the dentist to extract some of my Baby teeth to make room for the "Big Real" teeth i was getting. They applied the topical numbing agent, and busted out the syringe. i saw the needle, and i'm like.. "oh hells no!", and i kicked the dentist in the nads and ran out. Of course, they tried to chase me down.. Led to a pretty comical scene .. Dentist chasing me, followed by the assistant, followed by my mom. I got out of that one, never got 'em extracted, and i did alright.

Back to now, no such shenanigans, i get numbed up pretty good this time.

First tooth goes fine.. until they take it out, and see that the roots were way more spread. Bit that's still ok. I'm thinking this is easy.

Second tooth (impacted) needs to be chipped. they start trying to break it up. Need more anasthetic. still tryign to chip it.. aint happening

Ms. Dentist: "Thats some strong enamel you got there.. haven't seen such a hard-to-break tooth in ages"

Is that a compliment? You are trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson!

still hacking away, i'm getting sore.. not used to having my jaw stretched so far wide that the sides of my mouth are threating to bust open.

.....and then they heave a sigh.. the tooth is out.. or is it?

I look at the assistant's face. she's got an expressive face! she's like "Uh Oh"

Great! Just what I wanted to hear. and now its hurting like a mudda!

Ms. Dentist: "Suction! Scissors! Suction MORE SUCTION! "

and then i see her snapping off something from the tooth, I can even feel it cuz i'm hurting right about now.


The tooth was stuck to the bone & tissue, hence the pain.... and the expression of the assistant.

I'm exhausted at this point.. Usually, I've a high threshold for pain, but I'm really tired now. All that chipping and pulling has taken its toll.. they numb my other side now, and ask me:

"Do you still want to continue? Your appointment was scheduled to end right now, but we're only halfway there... Are you too tired"

"What do you suggest, Ms. Dentist?" Atleast, that's what I tried to say.. not sure what it sounded like to her.

"If you can, I think you should, you already have all the anasthesia, why double the dosage for next time"

"I agree, lets get this over with" say I, as I gulp down a cup of water, which, unbenownst to me, promptly flows all the way down my bib onto my shirt...


Third one comes out.. not too much pain.. she had to still chop away at the bone..

Ms. Dentist: "Hey Assistant, tell Receptionist to bill this correctly. We thought it was a Simple, but its surgical"

Great! i'm in pain.. but why is my wallet hurting now? Sympathy pains I suppose

4th one comes off.. it was like the 2nd one.. boy did it take its toll on me.

My jaw hurts, my mouths all sore.. my gums are tender (and they're bleeding like Niagara!) The dentist claims she hasn't had one this hard in years.

I get gauzed up, and now the anesthetic is wearing off.. Just what i needed! I get my post-op instructions.. and off to the pharmacy I go.


Pharmacy Chick: "our pharmacist is out to lunch, there is nothing we can do. You have two prescriptions ahead of you, plus you're a new patient. It'll be about 90 minutes"

Here I am biting my lip (mainly cuz i can't feel it), clenching my jaw (mainly, cuz i can't feel it), and thumbing my fists, (mainly, cuz my anasthetic is wearing off, and i'm hurting), and this broad wants 90 minutes to fill my Vicodin?

Doesn't she realize that that's my deal with all those involved in transporting me to & from the dentist. " A Ride for a Favre" sums it up quite well!

90 minutes later, I get my meds, its begun to kick in.. and now I'm not as grumpy and sore as I was an hour ago..

Now, I'm just the Wisdom-Less Canuck Engineer