Color Me Brown!

"The Doctor will see you in a few minutes"

The brunette assistant smiles at me, and goes back to doing her files. Its only 20 minutes beyond my appointment. I'm a patient man, I look around the room.

I can overhear the other assistant trying to make a doctor's appointment for herself.
BlondeAssistant "But I can't wait 2 months for an appointment!"

I chuckle. The world is round, I suppose!

15 minutes later..

"Mr. Canuck?" yells the assistant. "Yes Ma'am". Follow me

Into the little waiting room, I go. She goes through the pre-physical stuff, all my measurements. 2o minutes later, I'm still waiting for the doctor.

30 minutes pass. Its now well over an hour now. First in the Waiting Room, and now in the Little Waiting Room. That Seinfeld guy, sure has a knock of hitting the nail on the head!

"You must be Mr. Canuck", says this lady, who I assume is a doctor, mainly cuz she had sthethoscope around her neck. I make a mental note to try roaming around with a stethoscope around my neck sometime,... could be fun.

"OK, so in your country, they probably pronounce your name Canook. I'm only recently started learnign more about your peoples' culture"

That surprises me a bit.. but oh well, let her generalize me as the typical south asian person... doesn't really matter right now.

"OK, lets go over your basics... Ah, all these questions.. I can probably guess them right away.. you're probably vegetarian, no meat, no eggs or fish, never drink, never smoke and are probably single, right"

Jaw drops.. what the hell's wrong with you, woman!

"No, I'm a meat eater"

"Oh, you probably don't eat beef or pork then right"

"No, I enjoy all the meats"

"Oh..."

"and I enjoy my drink as well"

"Oh I see, probably an ocassional beer once a month or so right.. no drinking multiple drinks on the weekend".

I don't really need to correct her there.. I'm sure there'll be other instances :)

and so, the physical continues..

"So, when did the weight gain start"

"Since i started working.. about 2 years ago"

"yeah, I can see that.. You're overweight, sonny. I need you to lose about 25 lbs to get fit again"

"Alright, ma'am"

"Do you understand 25 lbs? I guess thats 13 kilograms for you people"

is this ever gonna stop??

" I'm familiar with the imperial system, Doctor"

"oooh, you must have adapted fast!"

does that really deserve a response?? I just stare back.

The Doctor ponders, then asks "Now, is your diet primarily south asian, or do you also ocassionally eat American food"

"well, i don't eat much south asian food, and i don't really know what american food is, but I guess you can say yes.. I eat North American Cusine" What's american food? freedom fries?

"There's your problem. you need to fix that.. okay , mr. C-A-N-U-C-K?.. .see I pronounced your name perfectly"

"Yes ma'am, I appreciate it. I guess I've been lazy about my dietary habits since i moved down here from CANADA"

"Oooh, you're from Canada... oh so you know what I'm talking about then..I needn't have translated everything to you."

Why would I not know what she was talking about even if I was from Sierra Leone!!!

"Come visit me in about a week, and we'll discuss your lab work. You're from Canada, you probably know that we do tests on your blood, thats why we extracted it from you..."

No Way!! I thought it was just an extension of the Homeland Security Act!

The Doctor did make a valid point though.. when she wasn't busy painting me with the stereotype brush. I need to get my ass of the Couch...

i agree.. I'll start tomorrow!