The world's a comic convention! My typical email this past week:
N: "Are you going Skiing on Saturday?"
C: "Nah, I broke my finger!"
N: "Do you usually Skii on your fingers?"
Here's another gem:
Email: "Please pray for the healing of our teammate with one Broken Finger, better known as The Canuck Engineer"
Response: "oh yeah.. what are his other nine fingers better known as?"
Sigh!!
If anyone asks me about how I broke my finger again, I'll tell them about the
Beware of the gruesome F1 accident that caused it. :)
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Had a Bad Day?
I was about to whine about day at work.. after all the original name of this blog was going to be Engineering Rant... But then I saw this video..... compilation of many bad days at work..
Pirates of the Car-ibean?
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch.
Bartender: "Do you know you have a steering wheel on your crotch?"
Pirate: "Argh, its drivin' me nuts!"
I Lol'd :)
Bartender: "Do you know you have a steering wheel on your crotch?"
Pirate: "Argh, its drivin' me nuts!"
I Lol'd :)
Super Tuesday
Its Polling Day around here.. and the Elections Fever is in the air. I'm going to bother anyone with my views on these Primaries.. but I think this picture might be topical.. if a bit crass :)
Million to One Shot ?
"The doctor will be with you in a few minutes. Feel free to read a magazine". I'm in an urgent care facility, hoping to get my finger x-rayed after my latest football injury.
In my best Seinfeld impression, I'm left wondering.. "Whats the deal with doctors? I was already in the Waiting Room.. and you know when you're in the waiting room, you gotta wait. So I did..but now i'm in the littler waiting room. Why the hell do I still need to wait and read magazines? and here I need to actually read the magazine instead of just pretending to read it while guessing what diseases other people are in there for, like in the big waiting room"
So I wait, resigned to my fate, and pick up the only magazine they have. I flip open a page where Jessica Simpson is urging me to use ProActiv.. "because it really works!". Suddenly, I'm very aware of the fact that I'm in a gown, completely disrobed under that, when all I am in here is for a x-ray of my FINGER!... helloo!!!
What kinda shady place is this? Is this the front for a Porn Shoot or something? my face lights up.. Maybe I'll get to see Jenna Jameson!! as I wistfully look onto the barewalls, conjuring up images that are not fit for this (or any other) blog, I am rudely disturbed by a gruff voice...
"What the hell did you do to your finger?!"
I get up with a start, and I get whiplash, cuz I'm looking at arguably the world's tallest doctor.. at 6"9 or so.. plus he wasn't a day younger than 80...
"Cat got your tongue? C'mon now.. young man.. where'd you stick it?" gruffly, he asked.
"Umm.. football.. McRoids..Collision..Finger Love...Uh.. Hurts when I bend"
"I'm not asking you about your romantic life.. how the hell did you wreck your finger". The shady doctor from the shady place now has a creepy smile.
"I been a hand surgeon for 38 years, Son. Trust me, I seen some things. These young boys... they'll stick theirs hands in some wiiiieeeerdd places"......"You sure it was football?"
"Uhh.. yes.. Is Jenna here yet?" I wonder aloud.
"Jeremy, lets get this young man an x-ray, so we can figure out if we should chop off his finger or not"
I listen to this in stark terror.
"Don't worry, Son.. We'll balance it out.. if needed, we'll chop off the finger on the right hand too"
I look up at him.. Great.. now my neck hurts too! What is this.. a stand up comedy show for failed comedians? He is funnier than Ron Dayne.. but then again, Ron Dayne couldn't make a hyena laugh!
So now i'm in x-ray room, with Jeremy handing me the lead gown as he says.."This is to protect your naughties"..
Thats it.. I'm done.. I'm outta here.. I can't even roll my eyes anymore! Naughties!!!??? Who says that?
10 minutes later..."So did you say you play football?" boomed the Doctor
"Sir Yes Sir"
"Ya, you aint gonna be playing much for about 6 weeks, Kid. You gots yourself a broken Distal Philange"
He continued.."In fact, I'm gonna put a split on, so you probably won't be playing much of anything at all with your left hand, Heh Heh!" Creepy Grin Ensued.
I'm glad one of us is finding this amusing. Especially while I'm in a plastic/paper gown... with a broken appendage! I have to have the worst luck with my doctors. I walk out with hand all taped up.. commiserating myself with my own misery, when I over hear the next patient...."I don't know how, but I just sorta fell on this toy car.....Million to One Shot, Doc, Million to One Shot!"
Suddenly I grinned to myself... I wasn't going to be the most tortured patient of the day after all :)
-The Canuck Engineer
In my best Seinfeld impression, I'm left wondering.. "Whats the deal with doctors? I was already in the Waiting Room.. and you know when you're in the waiting room, you gotta wait. So I did..but now i'm in the littler waiting room. Why the hell do I still need to wait and read magazines? and here I need to actually read the magazine instead of just pretending to read it while guessing what diseases other people are in there for, like in the big waiting room"
So I wait, resigned to my fate, and pick up the only magazine they have. I flip open a page where Jessica Simpson is urging me to use ProActiv.. "because it really works!". Suddenly, I'm very aware of the fact that I'm in a gown, completely disrobed under that, when all I am in here is for a x-ray of my FINGER!... helloo!!!
What kinda shady place is this? Is this the front for a Porn Shoot or something? my face lights up.. Maybe I'll get to see Jenna Jameson!! as I wistfully look onto the barewalls, conjuring up images that are not fit for this (or any other) blog, I am rudely disturbed by a gruff voice...
"What the hell did you do to your finger?!"
I get up with a start, and I get whiplash, cuz I'm looking at arguably the world's tallest doctor.. at 6"9 or so.. plus he wasn't a day younger than 80...
"Cat got your tongue? C'mon now.. young man.. where'd you stick it?" gruffly, he asked.
"Umm.. football.. McRoids..Collision..Finger Love...Uh.. Hurts when I bend"
"I'm not asking you about your romantic life.. how the hell did you wreck your finger". The shady doctor from the shady place now has a creepy smile.
"I been a hand surgeon for 38 years, Son. Trust me, I seen some things. These young boys... they'll stick theirs hands in some wiiiieeeerdd places"......"You sure it was football?"
"Uhh.. yes.. Is Jenna here yet?" I wonder aloud.
"Jeremy, lets get this young man an x-ray, so we can figure out if we should chop off his finger or not"
I listen to this in stark terror.
"Don't worry, Son.. We'll balance it out.. if needed, we'll chop off the finger on the right hand too"
I look up at him.. Great.. now my neck hurts too! What is this.. a stand up comedy show for failed comedians? He is funnier than Ron Dayne.. but then again, Ron Dayne couldn't make a hyena laugh!
So now i'm in x-ray room, with Jeremy handing me the lead gown as he says.."This is to protect your naughties"..
Thats it.. I'm done.. I'm outta here.. I can't even roll my eyes anymore! Naughties!!!??? Who says that?
10 minutes later..."So did you say you play football?" boomed the Doctor
"Sir Yes Sir"
"Ya, you aint gonna be playing much for about 6 weeks, Kid. You gots yourself a broken Distal Philange"
He continued.."In fact, I'm gonna put a split on, so you probably won't be playing much of anything at all with your left hand, Heh Heh!" Creepy Grin Ensued.
I'm glad one of us is finding this amusing. Especially while I'm in a plastic/paper gown... with a broken appendage! I have to have the worst luck with my doctors. I walk out with hand all taped up.. commiserating myself with my own misery, when I over hear the next patient...."I don't know how, but I just sorta fell on this toy car.....Million to One Shot, Doc, Million to One Shot!"
Suddenly I grinned to myself... I wasn't going to be the most tortured patient of the day after all :)
-The Canuck Engineer
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Swollen Members
"You alright, Canuck?" asks my O-line mate.
"Yea, I said"
"Well, then how about you stop pleasuring your finger and actually start blocking?" he quipped back.
Sheepishly, with a grin, I take my stance at the line, expecting another wave of absolute decimation. I recently decided to start playing football for a team that a few of my friends play for, including Spades, my roommate. Given that I couldn't catch, couldn't run, couldn't tackle, and really couldn't do anything skilled on a football field (or off it for that matter, but that's a different post altogether!), they decided to shove me on the O-line. Good, I figured, I can finally claim all those Rubio's Burritos were consumed for a good cause. You see, ladies, in most places in life, Size Does Matter :D
and no more so than on the Offensive Line at a football scrimmage. I see in front of me 2 linebackers built like tanks, both focussing on my end for some reason. I close my eyes, hoping that they'll start looking at the other tackle, but nope.. they're bull rushing straight for me.
Sigh! "Set... Hut........ HIT!", calls out our QB. I get up, trying in vain to stop Roids McJuiced from getting into the backfield... all the while wondering why in my half drunked bravado at a party 3 months ago I had agreed to play line.
Bam!!! "Run,, Run... RUNNNN!" called out the Defense.. Our QB had handed off, and the RB got decent yardage.
"Good Job Canuck! that was a good hold! Now why don't you and your finger get a room already?" quipped my teammate.
I look down, and I see my right hand massaging my left ring finger. and suddenly I wince in pain.. to quote Peter Griffin.."It stings like when I pee". I stumble over to the sidelines and get subbed out. The finger is all swollen up now, and turning black. Wow, I think to myself... I never imagined that the time I'd be paying this much attention to the third finger of my left hand, I'd be surrounded by only men, with not a lady in sight!
"Cheer up Canuck", I says to myself. Stop being a pansy. and lo & behold, the other teams' girls are warming up. One of the girls is especially tardy, barely having got her cleats on, she's devouring a piece of fruit while running. I yell out some choice words of encouragement "Go On Girl.. Work that banana!". and suddenly everythign stops. The girls stop running, the sidelines turn around...and it dawns on me..lol.."Yet another Faux Pas, Canuck" I think.
I imagine DB#2 in my head chiding me.."Smooth Move there Canuck! Way to get a girl's 10 digits". But at this point, all I can hope for is to retain my own 10 digits... I am after all the 10-digited Canuck Engineer
"Yea, I said"
"Well, then how about you stop pleasuring your finger and actually start blocking?" he quipped back.
Sheepishly, with a grin, I take my stance at the line, expecting another wave of absolute decimation. I recently decided to start playing football for a team that a few of my friends play for, including Spades, my roommate. Given that I couldn't catch, couldn't run, couldn't tackle, and really couldn't do anything skilled on a football field (or off it for that matter, but that's a different post altogether!), they decided to shove me on the O-line. Good, I figured, I can finally claim all those Rubio's Burritos were consumed for a good cause. You see, ladies, in most places in life, Size Does Matter :D
and no more so than on the Offensive Line at a football scrimmage. I see in front of me 2 linebackers built like tanks, both focussing on my end for some reason. I close my eyes, hoping that they'll start looking at the other tackle, but nope.. they're bull rushing straight for me.
Sigh! "Set... Hut........ HIT!", calls out our QB. I get up, trying in vain to stop Roids McJuiced from getting into the backfield... all the while wondering why in my half drunked bravado at a party 3 months ago I had agreed to play line.
Bam!!! "Run,, Run... RUNNNN!" called out the Defense.. Our QB had handed off, and the RB got decent yardage.
"Good Job Canuck! that was a good hold! Now why don't you and your finger get a room already?" quipped my teammate.
I look down, and I see my right hand massaging my left ring finger. and suddenly I wince in pain.. to quote Peter Griffin.."It stings like when I pee". I stumble over to the sidelines and get subbed out. The finger is all swollen up now, and turning black. Wow, I think to myself... I never imagined that the time I'd be paying this much attention to the third finger of my left hand, I'd be surrounded by only men, with not a lady in sight!
"Cheer up Canuck", I says to myself. Stop being a pansy. and lo & behold, the other teams' girls are warming up. One of the girls is especially tardy, barely having got her cleats on, she's devouring a piece of fruit while running. I yell out some choice words of encouragement "Go On Girl.. Work that banana!". and suddenly everythign stops. The girls stop running, the sidelines turn around...and it dawns on me..lol.."Yet another Faux Pas, Canuck" I think.
I imagine DB#2 in my head chiding me.."Smooth Move there Canuck! Way to get a girl's 10 digits". But at this point, all I can hope for is to retain my own 10 digits... I am after all the 10-digited Canuck Engineer
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Who started the Fire?
Its been 7 years since the last tech bubble..a time when fortunately I wasn't in the market. Back then everyone claimed a 30/20 hindsight..."Oh how could you not have seen the bubble.. it was so obvious..."
O'rly?
How about this time around?
O'rly?
How about this time around?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
