Influence!

"Excuse me, Sir, but did you just park there?" bellowed the cop running towards me with a flashlight.

What's the world come down to! Cops on a Saturday Night have nothing better to than to play meter maid?

I did a double take, my recent relationship with Southern Californian Parking Authorities was getting a bit too close for comfort, and lately, a lot of their wining and dining musta been courtesy the Canuck Engineer!.

"Yes, Officer, I sure did", convinced I'd parked within the allocated lines, AND when the meter was off. This guy had no shot of giving me a parking ticket, that's fer sure!

"Where are you coming from?
"uhh... a bar, where I just had me some delicious wings, and I thought I'd bring some back for my friends in this building." I felt like Lady Gaga's latest wardrobe malfunction... Nothing to hide!

"Oh where's my manners, Care for some buffalo hot, officer?" I offered the cop, my Canadian up bringing kicking in.

"Sir, have you been drinking?"

Well, I did come from a bar.. Do cops do this on purpose? I JUST CAME FROM A BAR!

"Yeah, I had a drink!" I proclaimed emphatically, with the confidence of Dubya during Mission Accomplished.

"Just one drink?" the flashlight shines in my eyes.

"Yeah, I had one beer. ONE beer". I was wondering if it was rude to spell out Beer. B as in Bob...E as in... sigh

"Okay, Sir, Can you please follow this pen with your eyes and not your head".

giggle.. he said head.

"Sir.. with your eyes.. not your head".

giggle.. he said it again.

"SIR.... please follow this pen with your eyes ONLY"

woah.. toy cop turned into Seargant Neanderthal.

"What's going on Officer?"

"We have here a DUI checkpoint, and I saw you park your car right before it. We're trying to catch any one trying to evade the checkpoint"

Oh.. excrement just got real!

Focus, canuck, Focus. eyes.. not neck. not head.. EYES.

"Okay Officer.. do it again"

and with the skills of a seeing eye dog, I followed that pen like a champ! That Bic mighta thought I was stalking it....

"Thank you Sir, you're good to go"
what that's it? Way to be stingy with the praise man.. I followed that pen like there was no tomorrow.... and I did it while holding a very distracting box of Hot Buffalo Wings!

"So wait, did you just gimme a sobreity test, while I was walking". What was he gonna charge me with .. Walking Under No Influence?

"Thank you Sir, have a great evening. "

Well, thank you Officer Chatty! sheesh.

I guess I got my first Sobreity Test.. fortunately, I had not indulged that evening..

Come to think of it.. I had. I had indulged in some fine goat cheese, and the most scrumptious of bruschettas.... all the while savoring the most radiant of smiles that only a scrumptious slice of tortamisu could bring about..

Yep, you could say I had an Extraordinary day!