You think this is joke?

For breakfast on Saturdays, I like to eat cereal... Well, I like to eat cereal on other days too, but I definitely like to eat them on Saturday... Its how the day should be started.. some milk and Wheaties.. after all, its only appropriate that I eat the Breakfast of Champions!

so when my day started yesterday, I opened the fridge and Bam.. no milk...! Well, let me rephrase that.. There was milk in the fridge...it just resembled yoghurt.....and I don't know of any Champions having lumps in their breakfast....although that might be debatable in this steroidal era.

So I gets in my car and heads to the grocery store and pack in a couple of gallons of milk, some dill pickels and some Liquid Plumber. Just a coincidence there.. Moving on... to the checkout aisle, I see every one lining up for the self-checkout.. yet the express lane there is free.. "manned" by an eastern european cashier "Tatiana"...Eastern European girls in general are easy on the eye...and their names even more exotic... its usually a good deal... unfortunately this is my blog, so obviously it was an exception to the rule. I got the member of the Yugoslavian Wrestling team..."Welcome to Ralphs"...and then she broke out into what might pass for a smile...except that I couldn't stop staring at her teeth. oh my god, those teeth!! It was like multiple bar fights gone wrong. Someone up there must have threw a bunch of chicklets and hope they stuck..... I mean I know hockey players with a better set of orthodontics!

I had my best Usher moment right there. She reminded me of a girl that I once knew. Same type of messed up teeth...We used to call her "Summer"... "Why Summer", "Well, y'know.. cuz summer 'ere, summer there" :)

Anyways, so Summer's checking out my pickle... as I'm nostalgic about my college days. Once she's done checking me out, the total is "fortee three dowlers". Forty Three..!!!!

damn, I forgot to use my club card. So I asked her if she'd slid a card for me..
"No.. do you have Club Card?"..
well, I do, but I don't have it on me....
"Okay then.. Fortee Three dowlers"....
No, I mean.. Can you not slide one of yours?
No, you need to bring card.
well, I don't have it here, but i don't want to pay almost twice of what I owe.
Fortee Three Dowlers!
I know its forty-three bucks.. can i get a new card then?
You will lose old card
That's fine
Ok, fill up application


Fine, so i filled up my name and phone number on the new club card and handed it to Tatiana. She looked at me, and she's like..

"What is this"
"This is the application you asked me to fill out"
"You didn't complete it"
"Yes, I realize that, but I put in the relevant stuff. .Name and Ph No."
"YOU THINK THIS IS JOKE?"

no, I really didn't think it was a joke.. I mean, I know whats a joke.. like.. "whats the difference between a pigeon and an investment banker? A pigeon can still make a deposit on Ferrari"

See I know jokes.. and this was no joke!

"No ma'am, I do NOT think this is a joke"
"Well, you're holding up line.. Fourtee Three Dowlers"
"What was the whole point of me filling up the application form then?"
"ugg.. fine.. i slide this time. but you treat this as joke. Twenty three dowlers"
"Thank you very much Tatiana", said I as I slid my credit card through.

her face was worth looking at..I was channeling Heath Ledger when I considered.. "Lets put a smiiiile on that faceeeeh!"

As I was leaving, "Btw, Tatiana, can you please pack my liquid plummer with some Updawg?"

"What's Updawg?"

"Not Much, What's up with you?" quipped as I walked out with the biggest grin a cheshire cat would ever see.

As I looked back, I saw Tatiana there, muttering to herself, with a very confused look on her face.

Now to get my wheaties on!