The World's a Stage..

All the world's a stage
and all men and women merely players...

Truer words may never have been spoken.. or written, as the great Bard Shakespeare once did. In spite of this huge production that we all involuntarily seem to be a part of, a lot of us like to voluntarily be part of a production to be delivered on stage. Whether its film, theatre, music or a combination, way too often the players don't pay attention to the next line in this great poem..

They have their exits and their entrances...

The Canuck Engineer was recently involved in a small part of a big event all being performed on stage. Now, by "involved", I don't mean how Tom and Katie are involved. I wasn't jumping on no couches on a talk show.. although I was seated on a couch as part of a make believe Talk Show that I was hosting. Great Segue, I know, but that's a whole different post.

Having been involved in about 3 productions in the past year and a half, and having sat through a couple more, I'm listing a few things that productions should not have...ie cases where the players should know their exits and entrances :)

You might be part of a poor production if:

1. The Host of the show and the EmCee of the show are two different people
2. All the Microphones have a range limited to a 3 square foot area on one end of the stage.
3. That end of the stage is not lit...and the mikes squeal because they're too close to the speakers
   
4. The EmCee of the show promises that the show "will get better in the next few hours"
5. The Show lasts for the next few hours!
6. The EmCee begs the audience to return after the intermission.
   
7. The audience starts applauding midway through the performance of an artist in an attempt to get him to end the segment
8. If the artist takes the above to be appreciation, and further elongates his act!
9. The Emcee starts making shadow puppets on stage, in order to while away the time!
   
10. For the end credits, the Host asks for "The talent to appear on stage"... all the participants look around confused trying to figure out who the stage manager is referring to!
    
11. When you exit the theatre, you have escort service flyers clipped to your windshield wipers!

fyi, none of the above is fiction. All of it happened as part of a couple of productions that went down recently. well almost all of it. The escort flyers weren't exactly clipped to my car when I came out of the theatre, I had to steal them off another car's wipers !!

After all, I AM the Canuck Engineer!